|Reviews for My Voyage|
| Exangeline chapter 13 . 10/15/2011
While I love all of his emotions, even the completely irrational ones, Perry’s anger is indeed my favourite. The way he interacted with Jordan at the end there, the utter rage in his voice when he told her that he’d show her exactly what kind of devil she is, that was hands down the best way to close a scene like that. The funniest thing is—if the captain wasn’t Jordan, if it had just been some complete stranger, Perry would probably have been clear-headed enough to realise that they had absolutely no clue what he was talking about when he spoke of the death of those towns. But Jordan being who she is brings out both the best and worse emotions in him, I think, and with the entire fiasco with finding Jack and worrying about Jonathan? Well, I don’t blame him one bit for not actively registering the fact that Jordan and her crew were dumbfounded when it came to this accusation. But still, it makes one think about how much Jordan being, well, herself, influences Perry’s emotions here.
Jonathan is so rational sometimes it makes my brain hurt. His thought process is far more mature than mine is, sometimes more than Percival’s, even, especially on the subject of emotion. We all know how crippled our dear old Perry is when it comes to that particular aspect of society, but in comparison to how closed off he was at the beginning of My Captain, it’s really amazing how far he’s come. The way Jonathan considers everything that’s happening, with Percival, the Sullivan family, Jordan’s ties to Ben and the capture of the Ghost Ship (or “Lost Siren”, which is such an awesome name for a ship, by the way) and comes to the conclusion that Perry needs him—especially as everything else comes crashing down around him—was really beautiful. Both characters make such strong sacrifices for one another on a daily basis; almost without realising they are doing so. Percival, sacrificing the true peace of mind he receives when with John, to having him safe and sound on the “Sacred Heart”. Jonathan, sacrificing his hurt at the fact that Percival never told him about Jack, to let his mentor know that he still has his much-needed support. I really, really don’t think the two of them realise how much they mean to the other, but I like that they’re starting to get the gist of it. My favourite example of this is the way that Percival replied truthfully to Jonathan asking whether or not he was okay, wherein the answer was a definite no. I think that’s the highest level of trust you can get from somebody like Perry, who lock away their feelings behind deadlocked, bolted doors, and I think this time Jonathan realised how much the older man needs him.
Moving onto the final scene, my jaw just kind of dropped. The emotion. My god, the emotion. It was staggering, it was perfect, it was everything I could have ever hoped for. Jordan’s absolutely stunned belief was such a textbook reaction for her, and the way it made Perry angrier instead of relieved was also a very powerful factor that contributed to the raw emotion behind the scene. Having it all told from Jonathan’s perspective as he stood off to the side, taking in everything both Perry and Jordan did or said was a really good device, as it made you feel sympathetic to both of them instead of bias. All I can say (since I’ve been rendered speechless) is that I really, really cannot wait to see where they go from here.
To build on what I started off saying at the beginning of this, you can set a scene in so little words, painting the picture as easily and as beautifully as Ben brought the sea to life in his portraits. A grand literary achievement if I ever saw one. Every word after that only builds onto the scene, enriching it, filling it out and allowing the story to flow from one action to the next with a fluidity that I truly envy at times. I, probably better than most, know how much you’ve struggled with everything in real life, but I swear to you, absolutely none of that shows in this story. You make everything seem effortless and easy, and none of that stress or outward emotion touches this story at all in any other way but to make it even more relatable. What you’ve already achieved with this story is amazing, and I still have seven more chapters to go until it’s finished! It’s fantastic, this feeling of excitement you get when you know that there’s more to come. But there will be a chance to review those further chapters soon, and I think I should probably get back on track to finish this one.
I. Love. Dexter. I think it’s probably my favourite show at the moment, other than Scrubs and Cougar Town. My family and I just finished season five and are dying for season six (no pun intended).
This one was just over the limit, but I was still really glad to have hit the two-review mark. I can't promise I'll do it again, for as I said: what's written is more important than the length of it, but hopefully I will. Especially the finale.
These suckers take me a little while to write, so I think it'll be a few days until I can get you the next one. I'm currently rushing to complete my traineeship with work, which needs to be submitted by Tuesday, so hopefully I'll have something for you after that. A lot of the weight I've been carrying around will be off my shoulders, to say the least, and I'll be able to tear through the rest of this story with efficency rather than sluggishness.
Also, I've been writing somewhat feverishly, both on MT and on another little pet project. Hopefully we'll see something in that arena soon.
Anyway. Enough off-topic discussion. I'll see you in a few days with the rest of my reviews. Stay safe and take care!
| Semaphora chapter 13 . 10/15/2011
You, my dear, are a walking literary achievement. This particular statement will be expanded on near the end of my review, but throughout the course of this chapter’s commentary I will be highlighting the specific things I believe you’ve not only achieved here, but surpassed the achievement of. First things first, thank you for being inhumanly patient in terms of waiting for these reviews. That’s probably the biggest literary achievement of anybody ever considering how long it takes me just to sit down at my computer and read something, not to mention review it. But you’ve been the best support, and I can only hope that now I’ll be the one supporting you as you read these reviews amidst the chaos of life.
The very first word of this chapter told me everything I needed to know about the previous one in an instant. It set the scene perfectly, and I was immediately transported back to that rocky shore where Jordan and Perry confronted one another as captains from rivalling ships. The emotion in the scene was simply groundbreaking; even from Jonathan’s adorably confused perspective. The words “as though his entire world had just come to a screeching and unidentifiable halt” are perfect for summing up that slap-in-the-face feeling I got when I finished the previous chapter and started on the beginning of this one. I think I knew from the beginning that Jordan would somehow be expertly woven into this story—a hunch, mind you, that was only emphasised, underlined and uppercased when Jack made his grand entrance a few chapters back—but no matter how prepared I feel for certain events or characters in this story, you always, always manage to surprise me with the unique and predominantly genius ways you weave them into the plot. Jordan is in no way the exception to that rule.
...In fact, I’d go so far to say that she’s the titanium-solid proof of this particular literary achievement. If anyone ever approaches you to say that a plot twist in one of your stories is predictable and without talent, you will win the entire argument simply by saying: “Ahem, I’m sorry, but might I bring your attention to ‘My Voyage’, wherein I distinctly remember that Jordan Sullivan turned out to be the captain of the Ghost Ship? You remember that story with all of its stunning twists and turns and awesome Cox family drama? Yeah, well, nobody saw that one coming SO SUCK IT, HATER!”
Of course, you’d probably deal with that situation with courtesy and poise, but if you’re ever looking for an alternative, remember it, will you? The truth of it will have them stunned for days, I promise.
Getting back on topic—I love that Jonathan’s innocence and confusion regarding the situation is mirrored in Jack, and how they have their own conversation in the background while their parents battle it out against one another with the Cox-Sullivan Stare of Death (TM).
The ensuing fight of both blows and words was remarkable, and I must take the time here to mention that I simply cannot get enough of your Jordan voice. Every word out of her mouth, especially when accusing Perry of being a demon in the guise of an angel, was both a punch in the gut (for obvious reasons) and a moment for grand applause. Her words were simply flooring, as were all the hidden emotions behind it, from the stinging hurt (“you don’t know me, you never have”) and the feigned confidence (“but at least I know who I am”), to the pure, unadulterated rage (“not only did you follow me to hell, Per, but you paved the whole way there”). Every word was moving in a way I haven’t felt since watching the series and experiencing those moments on screen for the very first time. I believe it’s a testament to your amazing talent as a writer that you’ve made me feel exactly the same way I felt during those moments in the show, which was simply dumbfounded at the utter complexity of the relationship that exists between these two people. The anger, the loathing and, most importantly, the love that they feel for one another is something I have never seen represented in any other show. Likewise any other story here. Other authors may try to imitate it, and some may very well succeed, but not only have you surpassed that achievement, you’ve transformed it into something purely your own. Jordan and Perry have never experienced a situation like this in the show, and yet somehow you’ve taken us outside the realm of what happens there to show us how they would react to this. It’s completely in character, not just for Jordan and Perry from Scrubs, but for Jordan and Perry from ‘My Voyage’.
What I also find perfect is how Jonathan’s first thought when beginning to piece this all together was for Percival and not for himself, how the older man had been through enough already and that this news was just the thick, black sludge icing atop the mud-cake of his current existence. The moment in which Jonathan looks over at Jack to see the other teen’s eyes widen with the same realisation was brilliantly written, and was something I could imagine perfectly—what with the way that they tear their eyes from one another as the fight between their parents deepens and the rest of the crew come around to watch, but how the meaning behind that look stays with the both of them for much longer than that fleeting instant.
The battle itself represents so many things, I believe, not just a fight with swords or loaded words. It would take me forever to dissect what those things are, and I still probably wouldn’t get it, but the battle—for dominance, for vengeance, for justice, for everything—between Jordan and Perry was so fierce, and so well built upon, that I couldn’t very well perceive who would win it. The way that Perry drew his gun on her when she slipped was a powerful reminder of how hard the deaths of these towns have hit him, how it didn’t matter for one second who she was or what personal history they had between them, because if she was the one who had done this to those people without guilt or remorse, he would take her down no matter what. I especially liked the way that you wrote how this was done by him without ego, further emphasising that it wasn’t for a personal reason he stood above her that day, but the fact that with what he knew about the situation, he was the good guy and she was the bad one, as simple as that.
I think it’s about time I moved on to the second scene, what with spending around a thousand words on the first. It was completely worth it though, since that’s probably one of the most intense, well-written and in character scenes I have ever had the pleasure to read.
Reading the rest of this chapter, I just have to say that you’re probably the best author here when it comes to writing Perry. For some reason, every time something is in his perspective it comes with a perfect flourish at the end of it, that additional something that just completes him, like the shiny red ribbon on a flawlessly wrapped package. This time, funny enough, it was that he chose to bring Todd with him on the Lost Siren with the hope that he would simply annoy the other ship’s crew mercilessly. Such a Perry thought, and like the rest of it, brilliantly written.
I also loved how Perry noticed the frustration in Jonathan’s voice (correctly assuming that the kid thought he’d forgotten about him) and how his immediate thought was how impossible it was to ever do that. I wish Jonathan had the ability to read Perry’s mind, because he does a damn good job reading him already, but always seems to remain oblivious to the gigantic elephant(s) in the room between them—that Perry and Jonathan are father and son, that they both think of it this way, and that they think it’s ridiculous that the other could ever be forgotten. I know the drama is perfect for the storyline, and I can definitely say I’m eating it up, but sometimes those two boys are so frustrating. I wanted to knock Perry upside the head when he called JD “Johnny”. For a genius, he sure is stupid sometimes. But it was in character, especially when his conscience criticised him for it straight after (which I cannot express to you how much I loved). It also led to the next scene on the Lost Siren, which I do believe JD’s presence would have changed if he had been there. Regardless, the scene worked beautifully. I cringed alongside Perry when Jordan asked where Ben was, and her response to Perry telling her of his death was so powerful. Part of me wanted to hate her for saying that to him, but another part—a much larger part—knew this was her way of grieving, by lashing out at the party (or any parties, really) responsible for his death.
Still, though, I saw it all happen even before Jordan said the words, that somehow this would link back to the fact that Perry had killed and she hadn’t and that Perry, unable to stand there and take something so hypocritical, would completely snap. I may sound like a broken record here, but that was absolutely amazing. The emotion in this chapter is just so strong, bouncing from one extreme to the next, and I can’t help but get completely caught up in the ride.
I do have to interject here to say: PERRY’S CRAZY EYES ARE WIN.
(Continue to Part II of the review).
| unsignedauthor chapter 20 . 8/6/2011
This story was amazing and so totally unique and crazy and fun! I can't believe you turned JD into a kid, and made the Scrubs hospital universe into a pirate universe, and still managed to pretty well keep everyone in character and make it fun and interesting, and superbly exciting. I wish you would write another one of these stories in the sea/pirate verse, because what you've done here is astounding and unlike any fic I've read before.
| jka1 chapter 20 . 1/21/2011
This kinda feels like the end of an era lol, I remember when this story first began and I've seen it develop into a wonderful story. Kudos to you for writing a fantastic scrubs based story, it was truly a terrific addition to the scrubs fanfic community. I can't wait to read your next story, hopefully with more JD/Perry fics. Again well done on a great story -
| xcbambidx chapter 20 . 1/20/2011
Seagull! hahaha I loved that wayyyyy too much. I was cracking up when I read it.
Anyway, congrats on finishing My Voyage! You should be so proud of yourself for writing such an entertaining story. It was one of the best I've ever read in this fandom. Honestly. Bravo! hahaha
Returning to the chapter at hand... it was great in so many ways. This chapter basically tied everything together with a neat little happy bow: the reading Ben's last journal entry (made me definitely tear up), the resolution to the Ghost Ship dilemma (which I thought was well thought out), Turk and Carla getting engaged (uber cute) and of course the icing on the cake- JD becoming Perry's first mate (loved it!).
But anyway thank you once more for writing a fantastic story. I can't wait to see a new story from you in the future! Good luck planning it out!
| xcbambidx chapter 19 . 1/20/2011
Before I start, I love the beginning quote/lyrics. Missy Higgins is a great artist so yayy to that. Anyway, onto the chapter. I loved loved loved the Janitor-JD moment and I could definitely see where the Janitor was coming from. It is a very big moral dilemma Perry and the crew of Sacred Heart have been swept up in, but I have confidence they'll make the right decision in the end. Also, the traveling hospital seems like an awesome idea kudos for thinking it up and of course Jonathan's last line was beautifully written. Amazing. Great chapter and now I'll read your last one. So sad.
| Tell Her This chapter 20 . 1/19/2011
There was a word taken out of my review by the site. That random "!" should have been preceeded by an elongated "SEAGUL!" Sorry about that!
| Tell Her This chapter 20 . 1/19/2011
Since this is the last chapter (sniff), I’ll be far more efficient at reviewing than I have been recently. I’ve also figured out my lack of update alert problem. For some reason, My Voyage was taken off of my watch list. I have no idea how... but it did. :-/
First off, I want to congratulate you on writing such an awesome story. I’m a little sad to see this go. It’s been a long journey between My Captain and this. I remember reading two or three chapters of My Captain a day to treat myself after spending a few hours studying for my driving theory test. (God I hated that thing... I don’t know if you have to do a similar thing in the States in order to get your full driving licence, but the theory test and the hazard perception test are major pains in the backside!) Anyway, the point is I’ve really enjoyed reading these stories over the last year and a half or so!
On to the real review.
Captain Sullivan is probably the only pirate with the balls to answer back to Perry. I loved her bite back at Perry. Major kudos to Turk for ‘thinking’ – great line! A bit on the harsh side, but what else would you expect from Captain Percival? Jordan’s remorseful side is something we didn’t see an awful lot of on the show, but it was nice (and entirely believable) that we got to see it here. As much as she gives off this hard-ass ‘The Devil Would Be Scared of Me’ attitude, she’s not evil. She’s not the cold-blooded criminal we all thought the captain of the Ghost ship would be when we first started reading this story. Of course she (and the rest of the Lost Siren crew) would want a chance to redeem herself. And what better way to atone for deaths than to attempt to prevent them? Her smug look to Perry genuinely made me laugh!
Okay. There are no words to describe the noise I made when Turk proposed to Carla. No words. That’s all I can really say about that paragraph! That, and YAY! :)
‘He could remember his best friend and brother lifting him high up into the air, the both of them celebrating happily while Jonathan pretended he was a seagull.’ And I’m guessing Jonathan made a sound along the lines of ‘!’’ at the same time, right? But Ben’s journal entries... dear god, they made my heart ache. It was inevitable that Jonathan would reach the end of the journal in the last chapter. This wraps that arc in the story up. But it was very emotional. I have missed Ben throughout this story, but at least he was there in diary form. And hallucination form, occasionally!
Perry using the Todd to buy Elliot’s books – now that’s priceless! And I’m all mushy at the scene between Jonathan and Percival. Jonathan gets the hug he’s always wanted! Hospital JD would be extremely jealous reading this! But that scene was brilliant as a closing scene between Captain Percival and his son! I couldn’t have asked for more! Except maybe what you included in the letter of Governor Corman. Oh, the sarcasm! Love it!
Well, I am going to wrap this up by thanking you for writing such a marvellous story. It has certainly kept me entertained for the last few months. I’m just wondering what I’m going to look forward to now, in the Scrubs fanfic-verse. Also wondering what you’re going to write next! Whatever it is, I’m looking forward to it!
Until next time. :)
| Jesssss chapter 20 . 1/19/2011
I really don't have too much to add to this whole thing apart from the fact that this is the perfect end to a perfect story. I was crying when Jonathan got to the last journal entry and just how... beautiful it was from Ben's words and how accurate everything was. And then I laughed at the part of the letter about Johnny and how it was obviously his contribution to the whole thing. I couldn't have asked for a better ending to anything. Such a great way to close it all up and I really do love when the love confessions and hugs come out in full force. They make me feel so happy all over. This was a fantastic story, dear! Thank you for it.
| XD chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
WOOOOO! I LOVE THIS STORY! DO ANOTHER ONE!
| RunWonderlandRun chapter 20 . 1/17/2011
Wow. This chapter really tied up the whole story beautifully. Honestly, I can't even chose a favorite scene-everything was written perfectly. The meeting between the crews went great-I loved how you resolved their punishment I suppose...well more like their chance to make things right. It does make sense for the Ghost Ship crew to bury the dead and train to save lives. I like how Jordan was the one to suggest traveling with them, to train under them to save people. Ties it up rather well. Oh and the whole Turk proposing to Carla was great! I went Aw.
And oh when Jonathan read the last part of Ben's journal...it hurt but in a good way to read how much John had meant to him, and in a way to th entire crew. Very touching as well as Jonathan naming the style the "Embodiment of Light". Beautiful. And Captain Percival let him man the steer the ship and naming him first mate! That was very exciting to read. OH and the ending! Classic, classic Cox! I mean I could HEAR his voice coming through perfectly! And the last line? Priceless...another great story! I am sad to see it finished but I'm sure I'll end up re-reading it every now and again. Thanks for another great story! Can't wait to see what else you write!
| Tell Her This chapter 19 . 1/15/2011
Well it seems that alerts are not working again. At least they aren’t for me; I didn’t receive an update alert for this. I apologise generally for being a lousy reviewer recently. I’ve been meaning to read and review your Christmas oneshot since, well, Christmas. I will get to that once I review this.
‘Oh dear God in Heaven, they're pairing up!’ Oh, how thirteen-year-old Jonathan does make me laugh. I’m going to miss him after the next and last chapter. Although if you do make this a trilogy... ;) Hehe. I kid.
Wow, Shilling Guy has a human side. I like it. He has a fair point; it does seem rather hypocritical of Percival in particular to, in Jonathan’s words, ‘pair up’ with her. Of course, the crew are going follow Percival because they trust him, but I’d imagine most of them are thinking the same way as Shilling Guy, even if he is the only one to vocalise it. In the modern day, Jordan would still have committed manslaughter. Still a crime. Still many, many people dead. I can completely see the Janitor saying exactly the same things to JD in the hospital. I’m not sure how that situation would arise in Sacred Heart Hospital –verse, but that’s by the by.
While I can understand Shilling Guy’s point of view, Percival’s feelings are equally believable. I have no idea how he’s going to handle this. (I am reviewing as I’m reading. You may well have answered this point later on in the chapter.) If he goes back to Governer Corman, he’s going to hand the Lost Siren crew over, and I’m guessing they’d all – including Jack and Jordan – be given the death penalty. He can’t do that to Jack. He certainly can’t condemn his son to death.
Hehehe. Jack’s rant. Jack’s rant. LOVE that conversation between Percival and Jack.
Ah, I see the characters are discussing what I mentioned earlier. Aww that ending. I’m slightly annoyed at myself for not thinking about the floating hospital earlier as I was reading. It makes so much sense. Percival and Jonathan both missed being at sea when they were on land. Why not move the medical practice to the ship? Sacred Heart Hospital Ship. I like it. :)
Well, it’s going to be interesting to see how that plan has panned out in the next chapter. I can’t believe the next chapter is the last chapter. I’m really going to miss this story. There hasn’t been a weak chapter, and this one is no exception. Looking forward to the finale!
| Jesssss chapter 19 . 1/14/2011
"No matter where we end up next, I want to be right there with you."
That might just be one of my favorite lines of the whole story. It was just so... perfect for the two of them. I really loved everything that happened this go around and the conversation with J.D. and Not-Janitor was really great too. The way J.D. still had all of his faith and trust in Perry when faced with the same doubts and just... ugh. You nail the father/son dynamic so well and it makes my heart swell and tears fall a little.
| RunWonderlandRun chapter 19 . 1/14/2011
So...I totally danced with happiness when I saw this chapter. I love this story and I was pretty eager to see what was going to happen when both crews met. As always, the chapter is great! My favorite thing...well one of my favorite things about this chapter is the little conversation between Shilling guy and JD. I mean, great that the crews are kind of working together and there really is no hostility but at the same time, Shilling guy is right. Even if they didn't know what they were doing, they are still very much responsible for the death of hundreds of people and that can't be easily forgotten or forgiven. And oh the talk between Captain Percival and Jack...so awkward so overwhelming and yet kind of sweet. It's sad that Jack has been so affected by what he's done but I think over time he'll...well not forget but be able to maybe forgive himself. It was interesting to see Perry's thoughts about the Ghost Ship crew. Because again, they didn't really know what they were doing, they had no clue but Perry can't just say "Oh ok, you're forgiven and free to go"...they do need some kind of punishment. However, if he does send them to the governor they'll all be hanged, including Jordan and more importantly Jack which of course he doesn't want to see. The ending was perfect I think; the conversation between Perry and JD. I do like that he asked his opinion on what should be done with the crew and that JD does seem to be on the same page as he is. Also so, so happy about that whole traveling Hospital thing! Oh man I cannot wait for the next chapter! You're stories are the best! Can't wait till your next update!
| EliH2 chapter 19 . 1/12/2011
Ah! Your back! Now usually, I would contain myself and wait till I'm at home to read your story, but it has been so long that I read this during class. And yes, it was worth it. While shorter than some of the other chapter, this has been so long in the coming and really brings it all together. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Glad your back!
Oh, and by the way, them being a traveling hospital is just so awesome! I love the conversations between Jonathan and the janitor, between Percival and Jack, and between Jonathan and Percival. So in character. Awesome. Update soon.