Reviews for Broken
Veronique24 chapter 4 . 6/27/2010
I'm loving your story, so please continue... maybe you could advance the time line a little quicker if that could help, or not write as a narator? Just let us know when you change POV. I know I can't wait to read what happens when Bella is a little older!
Cakes18 chapter 4 . 6/27/2010
Jarie, I think you're doing a wonderful job. Between all the things you're busy doing, I'm suprised you have time to focus on writing such a nice chapter. Keep on striving, you've pleased many readers before, and you sure aren't disappointing them this time!

Hope this helped!

Jessica0306 chapter 4 . 6/27/2010
I love how Esme and Alive just KNOW, ya know?

Poor Emmett has no idea. He went to Edward for girl help - that must have been so uncomfortable for both of them for different reasons.

And Bella, even SHE knows! Edward better watch it!

I think you're doing a great job with this. There are a lot of players, so I think 3rd person is your best bet.
jlcummins chapter 4 . 6/27/2010
i really like the POV! before i read your comment i was even thinking about how smoothly you transition to different characters' thoughts. i felt like i was at that dinner table. Keep it up!
cyndi407 chapter 4 . 6/27/2010
not dure what kind of advice to give you, but I do want to let u know that I am enjoying reading it. I hope u find a way out of ur slump, because I really would like to see how this plays out
ecxe chapter 4 . 6/27/2010
i thought you did a great job with this chapter. i really sympathize with edward, because i feel like he's trying hard to keep his emotions checked, and thats not easy to do. bee and emmett are cute together, though, and i see that will be tumbling down soon.
cutie82 chapter 4 . 6/26/2010
I like the story the way you are writing it. It's good. I can't wait to see how it's all going to turn out. I like your other stories too.
LoveCritict chapter 4 . 6/26/2010
I think your doing a great job with this story you've created, you might be nervous about writing in third person which sounds tough, but i don't think you've done anything wrong. Hope this helps :)
Luvntwilight chapter 4 . 6/26/2010
I love this story and the way you are writing it. Don't beat yourself up, it's great!
christag banner chapter 4 . 6/26/2010
Thanks for the update. I had to laugh at how Edward made his presence known. And yet felt so badly for him when Em asked him for advice. Poor guy just can't catch a break.

Poor Em when he finds out Edwards feelings as well as Bella liking how Edward feels.

Can't wait to read more.
Missypooh chapter 4 . 6/26/2010
The prologue was great. I don't mind third person. It seems to fit.
Burntcore chapter 4 . 6/25/2010
I think you are doing a fine job. I like the story and the angst that is just underneath everything... Emmett & Bella's love, Edward's pain. What makes this so sad is that Edward is fighting it but can't.
kellyprovence chapter 4 . 6/25/2010
I think yopu are doing a fine job! I think the thrid person is working just fine. I like being able to see all sides without waiting for anthr chapter in the other POV.

Can't wait for more!

deleepowman chapter 4 . 6/25/2010
How difficult this must be for Edward. My heart breaks for him and now it looks like he is going to settle for Vicki.
twimom143 chapter 4 . 6/25/2010
Please keep writing! You are doing a great job- when I see this alert, I immediately stop to read what you've done!
1,567 | « Prev Page 1 .. 91 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 .. Last Next »