Reviews for Broken Promise
Neowww chapter 1 . 11/29/2011
Wow! This is one of the best one shots I've ever read. It really got to me because this is something I often think when thinking about a possible Naru/Saku. The list of bullshit she did to him is endless: Treated him like scum for years; She thought she was better than him throughout all part 1, even though she was completelly useless during that time; Got him to promise to bring Sasuke back (How fucked up is that? How can a girl do all kinds of shit to a guy who always did everything in his power to make her happy and get her to respect and like him, and then ask this guy, who she knows is in love with her, to risk his life to bring back some other guy, who she loves and knows the first guy is aware of that, who knocked her unconscious, betrayed their village and always treated her like crap, even though she knows all of this hurts the first mentioned guy's heart to no end? Fuck that); It took all hell to break loose and some guy who has no idea what feelings are like (I mean Sai) to tell her she screwed up for her to realise just how much bullshit she has given Naruto over the years, and then she dares to kind of offer him a pity fuck and lie to him saying she loves him when it's obvious as hell she does not, and she thinks she can trick him into believing that; Even after Sasuke has done all kinds of evil and disturbing shit, tried to kill her and those close to her she still likes him better than Naruto. Fuck all that crap, she is not worthy of him. Your fic got all this bitch attitude of hers perfectly and threw it at the reader's face. I got pissed for Naruto while reading it. It also got that little creepy feel to it, with Naruto doing that, but after reading it to the end you can't help but feel he is right.

The way it was written was awesome. This fic wouldn't be nearly as good as it is if you had put in the chronological order. The frustration and rage build up steadily as time goes back and at the end it all comes together greatly. Reading it left me totally awed.

A masterpiece of a tregedy one shot fic.
Noa Nee chapter 1 . 8/30/2011
horrible I mean good story but the concept is just horrible. sakura is horrible sasuke is horrible poor naruto i just hate sakura she's just...horrible
Zeobide274 chapter 1 . 8/28/2011
damn...not much else i can say. this was a well told story if a bit tragic.
Addster chapter 1 . 6/1/2011
Wow, this was pretty deep and dark at some bits, mostly the beginning.

OMG, Naruto just up and killed her. Daym, it's about time someone did something about her!

But getting back to your amazing story, it was great. The way you went back was such a breath of fresh air, I think that really added significantly to the entire piece.

Job well done!

PEACE :P
Bobcat96 chapter 1 . 5/10/2011
this is the reason why i dont read NaruSaku, she is never good enough for him, canon or fanfic, unless you give her an OC's personality
Scurryfunger chapter 1 . 4/8/2011
Really great story. I like how you worked backwards, kind of something I do anyway when I'm reading stories, I go straight to the end and somehow find myself reading each chapter in reverse order.

I can't help but feel sorry for Sakura. I mean, she messed up, big time, and has one of the most amazing cases of selective memory I've ever seen, but I can relate. You can't force someone to love you, and it can be easy to follow a charade of affection out of... I guess there's not a nice way to put it, because no matter what she clearly didn't care about or regard Naruto's feelings, and not just in terms of love. I would probably say she's self centered. I've been in a similar relationship, where unfortunately I behaved kind of similar to Sakura, except when I realized what I'd gotten into (albeit within a couple months rather than years), I honestly couldn't think of anything to do but break it off. Granted, there was no cheating involved, just an affection on one side that wasn't reciprocated, but I do understand how easy it is to drift into a relationship (or in her case promise one), and not realize until later that it just wouldn't work.

Anyway... I really liked how realistic it was, and it truly struck a chord in me.
redchinese chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
sorry, i forgot to log in last time when i reviewed this- i was the nameless one harping about psychological reasons.

btw- i'm not trying to tell you how to write- sorry if i sounded really petentious.

you are allowed to write what you want, no one has to agree with what you write, but its nicer to have a lot of people agree.

I just wanted to point out things could add more to the story.
Guest chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
you know the idea of the story isn't that bad, nor is the stylistic way of writing. but I think this can be improved on.

Why?

show sakura's side of the story- then it would be a tradgedy. by not showing her side, she is essentially shown as someone with very little ethics and reasons, but not very believably- she's not even a good villianese in this.

plot wise- you basically laid out that she promised to love naruto, dated him and tried (sorta), cheated on him while stringing him along, and then pretended the whole affair didn't happen, topped it off asking him to be best man.

but all we ever get is dialogue- it fits the naruto centered perspective- but none of her thought process is show. if you just threw in a line or too, like 'I shouldn't be doing this' or 'uge, why did i ever make that stupid promise, there's no way i can keep it' or 'wow, he didn't notice at all, hmmm, maybe I could put this off a bit longer, waste not want not'.

Then anyone can hate sakura and symapthize with naruto.

I mean if the reader thought about it, they would ask things like this: If she liked sasuke so much to begin with- why would she even try to keep the promise with naruto? much less take more then 2 years to spill the beans? did she feel obliged to fill the promise? was is because she couldn't decide between him and sasuke? or was she just too guilty to tell him and always put it off, hoping blindly that he would move on when he told him to? Or she believed she could control naruto by saying the 'right' things?

Show us the psychological and you'd have everyone clapping.
Daki92 chapter 1 . 12/5/2010
very depressing and sadly utterly realistic and possible based off of canon
Telegram chapter 1 . 12/3/2010
Well, if you were trying to make the reader feel very angry with Sakura, you suceeded.

I especially liked the in media res(I think that's what it's called.)

Not too many people on this site seem have any other structure than cronological.

Very well written, you made me wonder what she had done to justify that, and you had the goods to pull it off.
Sapphire-sama Dreamer chapter 1 . 11/29/2010
Hm...I can't really feel anything. If she died I wouldn't really give a damn. She's annoying and kinda bland to be completely honest. Her death would be for the best. No more dead weight for Konoha.
Angel chapter 1 . 10/24/2010
I love the way you go back in time!

First I was suprised and choked that Naruto would kill her! Then we got all the way back in time and now I seriously hate Sakura...! You know how to get your reader into the story and feel the same way as your charachters!

Im sure you will become an awesome writer!
AhumbleHalofan chapter 1 . 8/14/2010
Well I have to say I loved this story. Although am I the only one that would like to see this fic continued? I mean wouldn't that just be awesome?
EfficientLazyness chapter 1 . 7/30/2010
I support this fic. I've seen many whiner's spout some B.S. about how this is ooc and what not. And I agree this is certainly a deviation from cannon and thus this is AU. I've also seen man also seen many arguments and contra arguments detailing why would or wouldn't Naruto act this way. And to all naysayer's all I say is: Shut yer yap... it's his story, don't agree with it? write yer one!
Asdfghjkl123456789 chapter 1 . 7/21/2010
It's so amazing, I love it and amazed at how many reviews you have for such a short story, but it's well deserved. I love it!
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