|Reviews for To Survive|
| Gigamonk chapter 38 . 5/2/2015
Realy Excelent story! I couldnt stop reading it. Excelent work!
| Someone chapter 38 . 3/14/2015
Really good job.
| NonOmnisMoriar chapter 38 . 9/15/2014
This story is so amazing. I just couldn't stop reading!
You truly are an awesome writer.
Thank you very much for sharing this wonderful story with us.
| Yentroc chapter 38 . 8/17/2014
Great story, kinda wish there was more.
| Cerberus013 chapter 38 . 7/30/2014
love everything you have done with this story usually im more into the action/battle stories but you had me hooked from chapter one you did an excellent job
| mordreek chapter 38 . 7/9/2014
Rereading this for the second time and loving it as much as the first time. Cannot express what an amazing job you did.
| VectaSolace chapter 38 . 6/19/2014
Yo u gotta continue. Your writings give much happiness to the readers. To me (: please write more
| Miles Upshur chapter 38 . 3/16/2014
After reading some reviews and finishing the story itself, I have come to a fairly certain conclusion: although this story has it's problems and inconsistencies, I couldn't help but melt with each and every touching moment. Sure some aspects seem troublesome in retrospect, but I found the story to be like able and heartfelt. For the sake of arguement I am a huge fan of the Shepard/Tali romance but that didn't color my view on this story. Repeatedly I found myself saying "just one more chapter..." and ignoring my own advice. I was drawn in and struggled to let go, and each time I was treated with moments that brought a smile to my face. I recommend this to any mass effect fan let alone a fan of Tali. Well done on the story. I can't wait to start the next one.
| Guest chapter 38 . 1/30/2014
| Wraith Five chapter 3 . 9/23/2013
Okay, you had been doing a great job up until this chapter. (Don't get me wrong, it's still pretty good.) Starting right after the explosion in this chapter, you slipped into using present tense. Not good form. Other than that, an overall good fic!
| V1S0R 103 chapter 36 . 7/30/2013
man dude, this is the best romance i have ever heard, i mean its a one of a kind, yo took a story line, altered it but still kept what was expected in the universe, man this is better then any book i have read, and i have read alot, dude this should become an actually book, or better should have been a dlc in mass effect , well down, i mean somethings i saw coming, but the company, the selling, the meeting of familys, the medallion, all great, all brilliant, dude 10/10 for... no 20/20 from me
| TakingAWalk chapter 38 . 7/21/2013
I've been directed to this piece by multiple people and have heard only praise and love for this story. So, I decided to give it a read and share my thoughts.
I'm not quite sure how to put it. I have a lot of issues with how you've written Tali and Shepard's relationship, as well as Tali as an individual.
For starters - Shepard's character is dramatically inconsistent at several points in this story. He is alternately cruel and unreasonable, then the Ultimate Good Guy. For example, him not wanting Tali to meet his mother to the point of being angry at the notion. Then, he gives in to Tali's every want and desire without ever taking his own needs into account.
Altruism is sexy, but not when it is displayed so absolutely that Shepard only appears to have a sex drive (or even a personality) when he believes that that's what Tali wants him to be like. People who are confident do not do this - they make sure that their own human needs and wants are as important in the relationship as their partner's.
And his very basic and simple displays of affection come off as almost creepy - him naming a salvage company after his girlfriend and wearing a matching outfit with her seems juvenile for a 32 year-old man.
To add onto the sexual aspect of their relationship - the foreplay is written in such a way that is so vague and simple that it loses its erotic component, and can even be confusing with so little context. The flirtatious dialogue within those scenes are very wooden and robotic, to a point where not only do they not sound in-character, they don't even sound human.
As for the conflict within it - the problems cropping up in their relationship are either not there or superfluous and over-exaggerated. Although them dealing with the cultural differences between humans and quarians is a lot more on the reasonable side, it's executed rather poorly and they talk about it in a rushed and excessively romantic manner that resolves said problems either too quickly or drags them on for far longer than they should be relevant.
As for Tali's character - she lies to Shepard on several occasions, seems to be in constant fear that he'll be angry at her (and the repeated use of "I'm dead/he's going to kill me" leaves the reader with the impression that she believes that Shepard will physically assault her - humour only goes so far until it's begun to be taken seriously), and appears to only act when she believes that it will please him (the lying to him aside). She's portrayed as if she has no substance without Shepard by her side.
Now, Tali has displayed some level of insecurity in the game, but it isn't like a chronic lack of self-esteem. For example: she thinks that if Shepard doesn't automatically want to have sex with her, he no longer loves her. That isn't Tali at all.
By ME2, she's a confident, independent woman who displays her interest in Shepard - both emotionally and sexually - quite boldly. For her to be afraid of public displays of affection in any capacity, even after she's slept with Shepard several times, is very unrealistic, as well as her constant doubting that Shepard loves her.
He's slept with her, let her live in his cabin, sterilised said cabin, *told* her that he loves her, agrees to bond with her, and spends all his time with her. It's not reasonable for her to still think that he doesn't love her.
She also seems to be submissive to the point of lacking personal will, which is something that I find offensive; a lot of people are to some degree passive, but the level of submission shown here undermines who Tali is as an individual. For her to be completely dependant on Shepard to the point that she uses him as a shield in public because she's too "delicate" to handle dirty looks (something quarians have all adapted to and built up a thick skin against) is like... she isn't five years old, she's not a coward, and she certainly isn't delicate or whimpering.
Her fainting when Raan said that she approved of her and Shepard's bond is a perfect example of Tali's polar opposite. She blows people's heads off with her shotgun and repairs military ships - fainting directly contradicts all of that.
The dialogue between Tali and Shepard is so stale and forced that I have not once seen even a hint of either character in here - it seemed as if they were two robots speaking to one another that were only named Shepard and Tali for the sake of putting a label on them. You could replace Tali's name with Liara's and, quarian culture aside, it wouldn't impact the story in any significant way.
I've seen other characters written quite poorly as well; Raan, for example. In-game, she is the most passive and docile person one could possibly encounter. For her to display open aggression and have a soldier accompany her to forcefully bring Tali back to the Flotilla is nonsensical. It seems that her opinion of her niece is more akin to that of an animal or a child rather than an adult family member. She seems to put zero faith in Tali to make grown-up, intelligent decisions.
Hannah, as well - she in no way reacts to the fact that her son is dead other than a slap to the face. The emotional trauma that a mother would have to endure over losing her only child, only to find out that he's alive, is a conflict that takes a few chapters to resolve, not one "oh hey you're alive why didn't you call" sentence and a slap to the face.
I even find Raan's slap to be the exact opposite of basic canon - quarian captains are held in very high regard in their society, and that kind of ingrained and respectful mindset would translate over to her dealing with an alien captain, even if she doesn't approve of him. For her to slap him would be extremely frowned upon in quarian culture and something Raan would almost never do. It's even mentioned in this story that quarians don't strike one another.
And if Tali is supposed to be his life-mate, why didn't she react to that slap? Even normal human couples get protective of their partners, especially when they're physically abused in any way. For her to shrug it off and only yell at Raan *after* Hannah slaps Shepard as well is too far-fetched to resemble a natural reaction.
Although you seem to have put quite a bit of effort into creating and expanding on quarian culture, them having mystical and spiritual bonds with people and being exceptionally monogamous seems like an overly-romanticized notion and doesn't fit very well with a species that is known to be extremely practical - they don't even practice religion in the sense that other races do; they are very down-to-earth, hardworking people. For them to live every day with the mindset of practicality and workmanship and then have idealized, sentimental connections with people seems like a disconnect with the basic characteristics of their species.
And the format - the entire story read like a quickly-typed script. At many points I experienced difficulty understanding what it was you were trying to communicate. The typos and errors also prevented any immersion whatsoever - they were so constant and multiple that I could barely focus on what was happening. Typos are one thing, which are mistakes that everyone makes, but this has so many that it's a struggle to even focus.
Well, I seem to have covered all the major errors that stood out. I commend you for creating a unique view of an entire species, but from all the praise this has gotten, I had expected more from this.
| Tomon chapter 38 . 3/16/2013
I'm rereading your stories again and I must say it's a really piece of art :) It's also very nice how others author are influenced by you and gives you credit for it. You really make Quarians into something amazing but still leave them with not so splendid individuals.
I would love to hear your version of the ending but at least you give us a closure for which I'm grateful. You're a very good author
| Roku - Molester of Science chapter 13 . 12/30/2012
Ha haha ha... wait what? "Bring your guns?" that's a little... rough?
| Roku - Molester of Science chapter 12 . 12/30/2012
Daaaamn! Joker got pawned!