Reviews for Fullmetal Phoenix
FireWolves397 chapter 19 . 6/28
For the next one, work on spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Otherwise, food job
Guest chapter 10 . 5/30
Seriously dude, the lack of punctuation and your bad spelling is making it really hard to read the story. I'm not trying to be mean but the way you repeat the information is getting a bit annoying. Just something to think about.
From a hiped up reader
Guest chapter 9 . 5/30
It's spelt " Quidditch" by the way ;)
Unbelievable chapter 2 . 12/18/2015
Ed wouldn't be so arrogant and say he doesn't have fears. Unless you haven't watched the series, you would know that be fears lots of things, including:
~Never getting Al's body back
~The homunculus killing everyone
~People dying helping him
~People becoming like Nina and blaming them for it
~The gate(?)
~People who are dead blaming them for their deaths
~Al blaming him for what happened to his body and hating him-which was likely one of the biggest fears he has/had
It is likely he also fears that his mother and nina would blame him for not being able to bring her back/fix her.
Please read the manga or watch the series before writing something like this.
Ed is prideful but he (and you) should know that he would fear something.
I hope that this helps in the future and I'm sorry- I didn't mean to offend You or your writing.
Ps. I doubt Mrs. Weasley would 'smirk' and that Ed would throw a knife near someones head when he could scare them off just by ranting;)
dragonfox123 chapter 1 . 7/7/2015
Great plot and chapter
The Writer Es chapter 5 . 3/25/2015
I'm sorry, the idea is great, but I just can't finish reading this. You really need to get a beta redder to help you out with spelling and grammar. But kudos for trying! :)
The Inferno Alchemist chapter 17 . 5/3/2014
HETALIA! (amazing anime btw)
Loner Kid chapter 3 . 12/14/2013
sierra.steinbrecher chapter 3 . 12/13/2013
Who are the other three? Am I supposed to know them from somewhere?
sierra.steinbrecher chapter 1 . 12/13/2013
You are missing a LOT of words. Why do the Fullmetal trio suddenly have magic? Needs to be explained better.
mageoflife431 chapter 16 . 7/25/2013
Keep writing, youre doing great! I couldn't write this kindof stuf if I tried, and I can name a few of my friends who couldn't either...
Taigon Shikkin chapter 3 . 1/31/2013
Guest chapter 2 . 1/8/2013
Just so you know, you need to add punctuation in a lot of places, and you keep using a word that sounds the same as the one that you meant to use. Meaning, you don't use the correct word. Ex) 'He through the knife.' The word there should be threw. By the way, Ed can't transmute knives from walls. Sorry to burst your bubble or whatever, but he doesn't know how to turn wood and plaster into freaking metal. Capisce?
Tricksters Anarchy chapter 16 . 11/6/2012
Love the story, just needs some editing!
The-50-Name-Mage chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
Ok, not to be a downer on what could really be a good piece of work, but this really needs some editing. I found this really hard to read and felt that the chapter didn't flow well, and was really jerky. You need to work on your Grammar, Spelling and also need to start proof reading your work for any missed words.
For example your first sentence:
"Edward Elric woke up one morning to the noise of Central outside his apartment he and 15 year old brother shard."
It would read better written like this:
"Edward Elric woke up one morning to the noise of Central outside the apartment that he and his 15 year old brother shared."
Also try having a notebook with hard to spell words next to you when you write. Good Luck
58 | Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »