|Reviews for Menzoberranzan to Morrowind|
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/10/2012
The best story I've read so far. I can't wait for 'Ashlands to Akavir'!
| Final Death1 chapter 20 . 7/9/2012
Thanks for the story! You are amazing you know that.
| Final Death1 chapter 13 . 7/9/2012
Talvalo sounds just like any playthrough I have where I get a transformation. If I wanted to murder someone I would transform and rip the thing to shreds.
| Final Death1 chapter 7 . 7/8/2012
Ha I called it before you said it. Though truth be told even with your foreshadowing it could have been a number of problems.
| Final Death1 chapter 6 . 7/8/2012
Talvalvo is a werewolf isn't he. Lucky bastard to have Hircines gift.
| Final Death1 chapter 1 . 7/8/2012
Quite a amazing story if I may say. It is a shame it hasn't gotten more recognition. Though that is probably because of what you chose to write about. People that come here look for something they are familiar and you chose to things that many people lack knowledge on. I have a question about Chizrae is her ability to use magic due to the world she is in now?
| verina chapter 20 . 11/24/2011
I play a Drow character in Oblivion, so I really enjoyed this story and look forward to more.
| Thug-4-Less chapter 20 . 7/10/2010
Ah, yes, so we come to the end of this tiny section in the story of Chizrae. Excellent work, cover-to-cover, M'jai. I think you handled the truncated version of what happened in Mournhold with Sol and Almalexia very well. It would have just seemed like you were drawing it out by going through everything there that wasn't going to have a direct affect on the dynamics of their little group.
The idea of them going to Solstheim is interesting, as well as their pirate adventures, and I will wait with breathless anticipation for Ashlands to Akavir!
Thank you for crafting this splendid tale!
| Thug-4-Less chapter 19 . 7/7/2010
Man, you just keep reminding me what a massive douche that Kimm is. The trick he did with his psionics on Shazi was brutal and totally fit with his character.
This chapter ticked along very nicely with the characterization and action, such as it was. I honestly can't even remember what happens next but you have set it up so that a reader will definitely be very intrigued to see what will become of Chiz, Tal, and D.
Here's some kerfluffles I noticed:
'"That individual did nothing to deserve being betrayed after she put her life on the line for them!" he angered. -'The "he angered" part really made me scratch my head. Was he saying it angrily or was he angering someone? I can imagine how tired you were of reading this one, so I totally get how it might have slipped through the cracks.
'You put on heirs, but manipulate people...' -I think the phrase is, 'put on airs'.
'"So, Caius is a traitor now for following Imperial orders to save Morrowind, as well?" Chizrae angered further.' -When I read this, it sounds like she is making someone else angry. If you said something like, "Chizrae's anger grew." Then I would get it better. Maybe. :)
'"That scroll is inmy care...' -Damn that sticky spacebar!
Besides those, this chapter went smooth and by the numbers!
| Thug-4-Less chapter 18 . 7/1/2010
Never trust the Drow!
I only feel bad for the Imperial conspirators because they've been a little spoiled by Chiz and have no idea just how diabolical the Drow can be. The Tal Vs. Dae fight was well done. I especially liked the imagery where Dae was just hovering over Tal and resisting the urge to skewer his brainpan.
You were very vague on just how much equipment Chiz took with her though? How strong is a Drow anyway? I didn't think they were capable of carrying a large amount of equipment.
"She ran upstairs, dumped the teleporting book on the bed" - I think that the phrase "teleporation book" would better serve you here. I mean, the book does teleport, but that's not it's purpose. It's a tad confusing. This paragraph also contained a bit of character speech right in the middle. Sometimes this can take away from some of the emotional impact that it is intended to invoke. I think it would read much clearer if you made the speech the beginning of a new paragraph.
"Talvalo leaped at him again, but Daerazal turned aside just missing being snatched." -I think the end would flow better as ".. and just missed being snatched."
The story really grows more intriguing with every chapter and you've done an excellent job of not making Tal and Chiz too mega-powerful.
Thanks for re-posting!
| Thug-4-Less chapter 17 . 6/28/2010
This chapter really helps build suspense about Dae's decision. The question of "Will he or won't he" permeates a solid chunk of the narrative. Once again, Kimm and Caen stole the show. Lol. Caen is such a freak.
Thanks for writing!
| Thug-4-Less chapter 16 . 6/28/2010
I really enjoyed the conversation between Dae and Chiz. The way he can unsettle her so easily is pretty funny. The interaction with Cean' and Kimm were also hilarious. Especially the part about the sister's body! Heheh.
"Kimmuriel headed into a back room - his bed room." -Bedroom doesn't need a space in it. I do that often.
Besides that, this chapter was close to perfect.
| Thug-4-Less chapter 15 . 6/23/2010
Man, Menzoberranzan is a messed up place. that poor kobold was just minding its own business.
I like the little hints that you drop about how Chiz is viewed by those conspiring against her. The realization that she managed to do what she did pretty much all on her own would give anyone pause. Though, it boggles my mind that Daerazal wouldn't consider the fact that his sister might be far more skilled than she was the last time they met.
Kimm is powerful but a douche.
Besides that, there's this:
"Jiub and Bodil where both caught off-guard by his silent, sudden appearance." -I think the "where" was meant to be a "were".
"I wish to hire him as an assassination." - Do you mean "for an assassination."?
Thanks for reposting this masterpiece!
| Thug-4-Less chapter 11 . 6/22/2010
Man. I remember that the end of this chapter was so sweet it made me a little sick.
This line nearly made my brain explode: "and ... a white wolf at her bowed her head to address the immortal power with formal respect." I literally could not think of what you were going for. :D
That's all I have to say about that.
| Thug-4-Less chapter 10 . 6/22/2010
Chiz really does have a pair of huge brass ones to lock herself in a damn cave with a werewolf. Sheesh. She must really be confident in herself at this point, killing a demi-god and all, but this strikes me as pretty foolhardy.
I enjoy the little moments the two have together that brings them closer together. You have a way of making it work in so many ways; funny, poignant, sexy, antagonistic. It really is quite astounding that you do it so well.
I noticed this kerfluffle:
"...because we took precautions to prevent him from starving, he never took more than I willing to spare." -Should there be a 'was' between 'I' and 'willing'. That makes the most sense to me.
Thanks for writing.