|Reviews for New Beginnings|
| patattack chapter 45 . 9/14/2012
wicked chapter. liked the bit about about blue saying gym leader's don't use their actual teams in gym battles, makes sense.
and that little ending with green was funny.
| patattack chapter 44 . 4/27/2012
wicked chapter. exeggutor was funny, what with the three heads arguing.
| superscaryghost chapter 38 . 6/27/2011
This is hilarious. It's creapy how much I'm like the main character...Muk kum :L nearly peed myself from laughing at this! Yeahh boii
| LibraSnakes13 chapter 1 . 6/26/2011
Nothing can make a reader lose interest in a story is poor grammar. It shows either a lack of proofreading and editing or an indication that the author does not know how to write very well. The latter can be somewhat forgiven but the former is of no excuse.
Some of the grammar errors in this chapter lead me to believe that the material was not proofread though. Here are some of them that stood out the most for me.
"Got my cloths" should be "Got my CLOTHES"
"Its fine ill take it" should be "It"s fine, I'll take it"
"charmanders pokeball" should be "Charmander's pokeball"
You seem to be deathly afraid of apostrophes...Ex: "wont," "Ill," and "lets."
Separate your speeches better as it can be confusing...
Here's something that isn't official or anything but I always liked to follow it. In the world of Pokemon, leave a pokemon's name lower case if it's not a proper noun (like "He saw a rhyhorn") and have a pokemon's name that IS a proper noun upper case (like "This is my rhyhorn, Rhyhorn" OR "This is my rhyhorn, Funklicious"). This tends to make the passage less confusing. Your call though.
This...is the same old hackneyed story of a trainer story. BORING. It's been done to death a million times. It's also kind of pretentious to have a charmander as your starter too...
Poor grammar and overused storyline makes me not tempted to move on. Sorry.
| WyldClaw chapter 2 . 11/28/2010
cool! Firaga (love, love, love the name) won their first battle
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/27/2010
Hello, I realy like your story but I would like to tell you why you won't get any more reviews from me or some other people.
It began in your first chapter, too many people are familiar with the classic Charmander as a starter fic and even when they try to be original its usually a fire-type starter.
If you could write a fanfic in which your starter is a different pokemon, different type, believable (a starter being a rare riolu, please...), meet those conditions and you would get better reviews.
| Failure134 chapter 24 . 8/29/2010
Awesome job. Keep it up. Bird Battle was pretty cool. Love the manga references. Hope to read more soon
| Ninthlite chapter 1 . 8/24/2010
could use some help on sentence structure~
| Knevix Roze chapter 20 . 6/29/2010
Vegeta:N-nothing. Just an... aneurysm out of sheer stupidity
Nappa:I didn't know you were that stupid Vegeta
Vegeta: *hair tearing scream*
Am I anywhere close? 3
| x xac chapter 19 . 6/26/2010
You should... check your grammar. You, like many other people here, are getting your dialogue wrong. Also, you're not ending all your sentences with a punctuation mark.
Couldn't read through all of it, sorry.
| tHe.DaRkEnEd.HaTrEd.Of.LoVe chapter 3 . 6/19/2010
im sorry, i tried to like ur story but its gay. im surprised i made it ta chap3.
| tHe.DaRkEnEd.HaTrEd.Of.LoVe chapter 2 . 6/19/2010
OMG TALKING POKEMON! gay
| tHe.DaRkEnEd.HaTrEd.Of.LoVe chapter 1 . 6/19/2010
cool! i always pick the fire starters bcuz they rock and charmander is by far the best. but i think imma have to break my streak w/ pokeon white and black bcuz i absolutly despise pigs!
| vacfrog chapter 14 . 6/18/2010
The raticate bite seems like a princess bride reference.
| Knevix Roze chapter 14 . 6/18/2010
hmm, pretty sure there was a Red vs Blue reference here with the guards :P keep it up though for this chapter I suggest editing it for spelling and such otherwise it's fine.