|Reviews for living for her|
| Charlie O'Neill chapter 1 . 6/3/2010
Oh, I cried all over again. I hate that aspect of Heroes part 2. I felt as if I had lost a good friend when Janet died.
You've captured the moment and added a twist with Daniel-the one who does lose a LOT-as her fiance.
You have a great sense of character. You could increase your dialog a bit. Your point of view is omniscient and it may be worth having it be only Daniel's point of view. Everyone is stunned, but having Daniel read their faces and guess or not be able to guess their thoughts could be a fun exercise.
The story moves well. The action is good.
There are quite a few errors, spelling, homonyms such as tare/tear, punctuation such as Texan man's body, etc.
You said you did it at midnight...and indicated it was not your best. I have not read anything else of yours.
I look forward to more of your stories.
This was a sad delight to read. Now my make up is ruined. :(
Good work. Keep it up.