|Reviews for Shadows of Heroes|
| Laodicean chapter 1 . 1/15/2011
Your style is pretty good, I don't know why you were doubting it. There are some minor things I'll point out for the sake of being thorough, but so far I've yet to see a glaring problem. Also, take what I say from here on out with a grain of salt, as this is only coming from a limited perspective.
'"She's gotten stronger with Ninjutsu," Nero commented, folding his arms over his chest, "But she sucks at detecting an enemy." I was tempted to hit him, but decided against it and settled for rolling my eyes at him. He flashed me a grin anyway.
Everyone knew, even me, that he was a flirt and obviously liked me… Well, yelling it out during the placements of our squads said it all when he leapt up, yelling out loud.'
Some slight redundancy of word usage which hurts the flow. First, the word "him" was repeated unnecessarily. you could have gotten away with '...settled for rolling my eyes.' or even '...settled for rolling my eyes instead.'
Next we have 'yelling it out' and 'yelling out loud', which sound awkward together. I would replace the latter with something like '...when he leapt up and shouted with glee, having just heard we had been put on the same team."
'My second oldest brother, Hioshi, got to Chuunin level by simply saving someone's life… And he doesn't get to go anywhere, which I envied a lot. Work just wasn't my thing, ya know?'
you're most likely looking for 'have to' (instead of 'get to', which implies that he doesn't have the freedom to leave the village).
Lastly, I'll comment on your use of the word 'bondage' when describing Nero. Unless he's a slave or a sex object where the village is concerned, I believe you meant 'the bond he has with' or perhaps 'his loyalty for'.
As I said, none of these are critical errors, so don't worry too much. My advice is to practice alternate ways of wording stuff, just so you have options available.
| Keiren-Kun89 chapter 8 . 11/15/2010
sorry, this is kind of... lacking in entertainment.
| ZOMG its Angie chapter 2 . 9/22/2010
i LOOOOOVE IT! XD! I mean if u deleted this story before I got through with it I would like... HUNT U DOWN LIKE A MOFO!
ps. i love akira!
| ZOMG its Angie chapter 1 . 9/19/2010
zomg! i love this story like mad! and like, hajin creeps me out! BUT I JUST LUUUV AKIRA ALREADY! i know we'll be 'match mates in heaven and set the fires in hell' (lupe fiasco quote, just btw)
| Arrrbie chapter 48 . 9/3/2010
oh my goood this was so amazing! I loved it, and the ending really made me giggle xD And poor Kage, I really like him ): Damn Kabuto, and Inuke o:! I did not expect that. So excited for Part III! I'll have Kishi & Eiji and Osamu's and Kairi's kid finished by tomorrow, if this virus goes away x:
| Canadihipster chapter 48 . 9/2/2010
OMFJASHIN... *Can't wait* OwO
YES! *Happy dance* I WAS IN THE CREDITS EVEN IF MY CHARACTER NEVER ACTUALLY SHOWED UP (Unless I missed something O_O"")
Thanks so muc can't wait for Shadows of the Next Generation!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~! *Loves you for this*
OwO I'll send in Kirai's new info soon! 3 3
~You know me by now ;D
| Rei Sagara chapter 47 . 9/2/2010
Geez, I haven't reviewed in forever! (Maybe a week?) It's a little sad seeing it end but I can't wait for part 3. I'm debating right now if Koyuki should have a kid...*thinks for a while* I might do that. Good luck on the next part and stay healthy!XD
| sco23 chapter 47 . 9/2/2010
Looks like Itachi's and Sasuke's names are cleared, and Itachi and Ruriko are together. I love the interaction between Ruriko and Hajin. This has been a great ending to a great story and I really enjoy reading it. I can't wait for part 3. Peace, I'm out.
| Pop'n'lock7 chapter 47 . 9/2/2010
A happy (ish) ending
it was fun while it lasted. Sendin my new kin in an hour or so...
I feel bad for kage tho :P he's the sort of bad guy I rlly like. The ones that are misunderstood :/
anyway I enjoyed it :)
| wisdom-jewel chapter 46 . 8/31/2010
so Haijin is back. I wonder what he wants
| sco23 chapter 45 . 8/31/2010
Alright. Naruto is the sixth hokage.
| sco23 chapter 44 . 8/31/2010
I love the battles.
| xXPOPPXx chapter 45 . 8/30/2010
okay so i should send the bio 4 kinny for part 3
and i want to send it for hte highschool fic... so i'll go do that now.
WOOOOOO! Naruto should be the hokage! that blonde deserves the love! :D
| xXPOPPXx chapter 44 . 8/30/2010
this story is really intense. (if you wonder why i reviewed so fast, i preread it... i dont actually read the speed of light like that)
im just goin back and reviewing these ones...
but you're good and illustrating fights. i mean, while i read them i was like getting really into it.
those fight songs in naruto (part 1, thoug) started playing in my head, lol :)
| xXPOPPXx chapter 43 . 8/30/2010
haha i love the fight between naruto and kaede...
naruto is my fav. character... i think...
i seriously love this story and am glad you update pretty quickly.