|Reviews for The Golden Age: Reclamation War|
| RidingForAFall chapter 81 . 2/3/2015
The rescue was just as great as I thought it would be. I liked that Frost needed to ask for help. It was probably best that Kira didn't erase any of his memories. Kunai is right to be afraid of what Kira will do when he finds out about Lacus and his children. I can't wait to see how that turns out.
Amazing work yet again and hope to see more soon!
| OrangeP47 chapter 81 . 2/3/2015
I think the style used last chapter really hits its stride here. I won't comment in great detail on it, as I've already said a lot about it last time, just that it's a lot more succinct here, which is good, and the additional characters are finally introduced properly. I think moving forward that's good.
For specific comments, every scene with Frost was great. The surprise that he was using firearms was spot on, and transferred to the reader, I think. I actually suspected some of the squad to die here, though not all, but they came off way better than expected. That's a good thing, bringing Frost back down to a somewhat vulnerable level, even if he's still so resilient. The final method he uses to get Lilia back wasn't a surprise, but it wasn't expected either, which was great. Builds anticipation. It was a similar thing with Kunai's part of the battle. It was my own fault, but after the answer to my previous concern, I thought that part might be bland, but was actually quite happy with it. Simply using TK is easy enough, but the sequence of battle there was quite creative. I also like how Aedan was picking the code out using latent abilities. I had theorized about that before but not really mentioned it yet, but glad to see it as a thing legitimately used, heh. Last but not least, very nice to see Khala performing so well, and getting recognition. Oh, and one more last thing too that I just remembered. I feel as if we almost demanded Alicia's death, heh, but I can't say I was too disappointed at that either ;)
| Amion the O chapter 81 . 2/3/2015
Wow, looks like that's over. I do wonder if what Espadon was trying to open contained Deathshriek, and whether or not it got teleported also. Would make sense, Frost retrieving the Present along with Lilia.
So I see now why Frost isn't able to teleport directly to people the same as Pulsar leaping, he doesn't have enough concentration power. Well, he may yet, seeing as how fast he is on the uptake, and being bonded with Kira could allow for that. At any rate, he's becoming more proficient with Mr. Abyss.
| Shaman Tonberry chapter 81 . 2/3/2015
*cracks fingers* So, the time has come for me to write a review and I will allow myself to cover both recent chapters at once;] Chaotic as always, so without further ado..
1) The long awaited rescue Lilia operation! Frost didn't disappoint. You could see how invested he was in getting her back and overcome his own limitations to a surprising degree. A splendid character development for him, can't wait for more.
2) We got to see more Praetorians! After the somewhat awkward and lacking introduction in the previous chapter, they finally managed to get some flesh and bone. It was especially nice to see Aedan make a proper début, so far the smoothest one among WoGB characters. I think there is still room for improvement, though. He obviously got substance, but for an entirely new addition to the story, I missed a few more words or info about him. The same goes for rest of the new Praetorian squad. It is something, however, that can be easily remedied by making a spot for them in future chapters, which would allow us to form more complete representations. Still, like I said, the best introductions of new characters in a long while.
3) I was surprised to see Alicia die so quickly. I was hoping she would stick around for longer. At the same time I started missing Asuka on that mission, but I figured it's not her time to step in just yet, if ever^^'
4) I got confused in this chapter as of who is where. I figured it out more or less towards the end, but jumping between locations without clearly stating their relation to one another slowed down the flow of reading. Ditto for changing narrators between paragraphs, since I needed a moment to figure out who's talking at times. But those are minor fixes.
All in all, I really liked it. Can't wait to see the aftermath, especially from Lilia's side, since it is bound to change her relationship with everyone somehow. Not to mention everyone now has to cope with Frost's new powers and wrap their mind around them. It would be interesting to read what they think on that matter. Plus, we're slowly moving towards Urbanis, Borealis and Garden City..
| Just a Crazy-Man chapter 81 . 2/2/2015
| Maffu313 chapter 81 . 2/2/2015
Another great chapter! Keep it coming! D
| Quiet0ne chapter 81 . 2/2/2015
Oh my God... 0.0
| kaleb-yamato chapter 81 . 2/2/2015
Yes yes a thousand times yes this is seriously going to fuck with the Oosen and the Orbits for a long while. Now that Lilia is safe the war can go on. Frost owes a lot of people especially Kira now. And Kira actually respects Frost, or at least part of him. Boytoy Kira indeed...
| MaloKen 17 chapter 77 . 1/24/2015
Ah you always did write such epic and bone crunching fight scenes.
Hey buddy long time no see.
| kaleb-yamato chapter 80 . 1/22/2015
Ok to start things off I love the Frost POV in the beginning. An excellent way to start off the chapter. I lets us get to know the new frost a little bit better and allow us to understand what is going through his head in regards to Lilia. He really has changed a lot from the Frost we all knew and loved back in CC. But this also proves that he is one step closer to getting Tree mode activated and when he does...also him getting shot in the head while falling made me chuckle.
Having Raine try to give Frost of all people a mercy killing was kind of funny. Since she didn't realize who he was at the time. Furthermore I don't blame her one bit for not going in the admin building. That's a one way ticket to getting splattered as an afterthought as Frost ran by. Not a good way fro her to go out. But I was impressed by her tactical read of the situation. Been a long time since we got some good Stormhound action.
Loved the Praetorian rush of the wall. Most people who tried that would have been blow to bits. Heine especially shone here. Shooting star indeed. Alicia and Aedan's into was smoother the second time I read the chapter. From the perspective of a non forum user they are just two new Praetorians who didn't get killed off in their first scene. From a normal readers POV they will either be killed off soon our you will develop them later so good job. But now they have to deal with a PUMA.
The PUMA vs Praetorian Battle was well written I thought. Very action packed and flowed easily from one scene to the next. I especially like how at this point no one knows yet that Kira is the one with the sword. Kurtz will be really pissed if he learns that Kira was the one who put a shot right up the barrel of his rifle. That and Haman dancing around Raine's shots was fun, his style of fighting is one of my favorites.
This the second time Spyro has faced off against Frost and I have to say he did better than last time. But again he would be dead if Frost had had the time to kill him and not just disable him. Finally I must say the Edenites will have to come up with something to help them counter the USNs combat power armor. Its and advantage they cant afford to let them keep for long.
I understand Kira's mindset here. But I wish something would force him to kill here. If nothing else I think you should make him go TREE mode near the end and let the Orbits see what happens when he does. Probably along with them discovering that it is Kira in the first place just before he actually does kill someone important. Finally in this segment I loved the Kira Alex interaction, more and more Alex reminds me of a Stormhound in mindset.
I'm impressed with LEXI's development. She is learning more emotions and gaining more sentience. I wonder if she will ever be able to re write her own programming and become truly independent of her masters. Also her analysis of Frost and her pseudo admiration of his abilities was funny to read about. Finally I cant see them getting away with Lilia now, if they did there would be no way Frost could go back to the war while Orb held her in their claws. Still i'm looking forward to how it turns out.
Espadon rocks. Nuff said
And finally Frost catches up with Lilia and Roanoke. Of course you let things drop there for the next chapter. I can only hope the next one comes out soon. Overall it was a great chapter and one I enjoyed reading a lot. Also we know the scythe is in the hanger so Espadon or the other Edenite now there will probably grab it. Now I really want to read the next chapter. Update soon!
| Riding For a Fal chapter 80 . 12/25/2014
It's nice to see an update. I do hope we won't have to wait as long for the next chapter.
It was a great chapter, as always. It was cool Frost used himsel as a missile. I wasn't surprised Kira had trouble with hand to hand combat.
Keep up the great work and hope to see the rescue soon.
| Brainless1 chapter 80 . 12/22/2014
Mmmmh. The new chapter smell. How I’ve missed thee.
Anyway, we start out with Frost casually breaking the laws of physics. I approve, although the portals do apparently conserve momentum so not all of them are broken. Frost’s introspection was interesting, especially since this truly was the first time that he has failed through his own fault. The mental side of the BCPU training is often overlooked for the physical, or at least it sticks out more in my memory, so it’s nice seeing that highlighted and shown how it is affecting Frost’s actions. Then of course the action kicks in with a bit of morbid humor.
This next section really made me wonder. If using TK to shape an explosion to give him a ballistic trajectory into enemy lines is partially why Heine is called Shooting Star, what the hell situation was he in before that forced him to do that in the first place? I refuse to believe anyone would willing go into a situation planning to do that when it was an untested maneuver so what on the fly situation caused Heine to ride an explosion?
The storming of the compound also has the introduction of Aedan and Alicia. I’m kind of split on this one. On one hand the section is told from Heine’s POV so there is no reason he couldn’t identify the Praetorian with the guns giving suppression fire or the Latent helping to boost Kunai. And following that same logic you nicely switched back to not naming them when the story was from Kurtz’s POV since he didn’t know who there were. On the other, like the others said, the names kind of come out of no where and without the prior knowledge coming from the forum it’s easy to see people getting lost where suddenly these two new named characters come from and why you’re writing about them as if they were supposed to know who they are. This was handled better than the Roland name drop I think but still not quite there. Maybe it would have been better to start the chapter just before Frost’s maneuver and have someone’s internal monologue give a rundown of the Praetorians present, or at least some of them. It wouldn’t have been as actiony as starting the chapter with Frost’s freefall but it would have given you the opportunity to name drop without it feeling so out of place.
Got to give Spyro prompts. If I have been in his situation, I would have turned tail and run the other direction. Moving in the direction of Frost willingly definitely takes more courage than I know I would have. It was also interesting how much experience helps when overcoming Active powers. Overcoming both the shock of the scene he walked in on and the psychic fear aura to act as quickly as he did was kind of on the impressive side. Sure, he got owned seconds later, but any fight with Frost you can walk away from is a good fight...or at least leave breathing since I don’t think Spyro was walking away from that.
Not much to say in the next three sections other than I enjoyed your characterizations of Kira, LEXI and Espadan. I’m also glad you’re not going down kaleb’s wishlist as far as Kira’s behavior goes. No matter how much circumstances have changed for him he still is Kira and seeing him stay in character was enjoyable.
Ending with that cliffhanger though was cruel. Frost reaching “Lilia” and everyone turning to fire on him is enough to leave us all on the edge of our seats. I could practically feel the action build in this chapter without a climax in sight. So looking forward to the next chapter now the the rescue mission is officially started.
| OrangeP47 chapter 80 . 12/22/2014
Okay, good chapter. It doesn't lend itself to my typical blow-by blow review style, though, because of all the perspective shifts. That's okay though. I think the way you did this chapter was just what the doctor ordered. The action is very spread out, and it deserves a spread out storytelling style.
For some specific points, I did like the intro with Frost, but others have already had the chance to say that eloquently, so I won't belabor the point. I think next up I must say I like how the initial and most important Stormhound PoV came from Raine. For as important as she is to the organization, the other top tier characters are usually there to steal the thunder. Such is the life of a sniper, I imagine, but it's still very very refreshing for a new leadership in the spotlight. I will say, though, it does make me wonder Alkire is too, unless I missed him in the interrogation chamber. Don't think he was there. To a lesser extent I like that Kurtz gets shown off as well, though he's had more chances overall so far already, even if not in the main limelight.
I think overall the Edenite team meshed pretty well too, showing them in a fresh light, and with some innovative, if slightly over the top tactics. Considering the audacity of the attack, and that it doesn't happen that often, I'm willing to give it a pass now. Hell, to the defenders, they'd be just as incredulous at the cannon-shot ability. I have some other concerns, but Asmus in particular put them well.
In particular, I enjoyed Espadon's PoV. I kinda roll my eyes at the Kindred, but he's really making me warm up to them more. I think this chapter in particular got into the thought process enough to make their actions, if not socially acceptable (of course), at least take place in enough of a coherent framework to work. Granted, Frost and co have indeed already moved away from "for the evulz" as motivation, but for the Kindred, I think now we can actually see the societal norms starting to form, rather than just being completely mindless minions.
Just a few more minor points at the end caught my eye. I think LEXI's PoV might be a bit of foreshadowing. Not asking for spoilers or anything, and TBH I'm suspecting this is an area that's less nailed down anyway, but I think the future might hold a cyber body in store for the AIs. Direct control of a mecha wouldn't be that far outside the realm of possibility, but I'm thinking the added bonus, which would also add points for uniqueness, would be to go the full distance and provide them with a cyborg body or something, perhaps with a cloned consciousness that isn't actually the "full" extend of normal capacity. Lots of different details and variations could happen, and maybe even some playful tension if both AIs get the chance but in separate models with different functions or something. Would be most excellent, though could go very wrong from an IC perspective, if you haven't scrapped that old Frost giving LEXI a "gift". The dialogue here makes me highly suspect you haven't, but that the time isn't right ;)
And as one last, very small comment, mostly because it's funny, though Dr. Roanoak didn't seem to undue hold up the team *that* much, I'm going to laugh so hard if he actually does turn out to be the deciding factor of this battle, somehow... I highly doubt it, but it'd be hilarious nonetheless.
| Talonis Wolf chapter 80 . 12/20/2014
You know, the name ''Frost'' does him Justice- it implies a slow, cold, calculating,unstoppable force which will eventually chill you to the bone, regardless of your attempts otherwise.
At first glance, Frost looks like a fury of action, instinctual. But every move is calculated to cause the fall of his enemies in the end, to make them a non-threat to his objective. Nowheres do you see this better then this chapter, where Frost is fighting for a goal unrelated to himself...
| Asmus chapter 80 . 12/20/2014
Okay, here we go. Haven't done this in a long while, so I might be a bit rusty.
You know, this is probably the first time I didn't grit my teeth in frustration when I saw Kira. Though it's still debatable whether that's because I haven't read your story for so long. Anyway, I finally saw him struggle, unable to insta-win the battle, and basically doing his best to just do something productive. It is a pleasant change from the tiresome god mode we've seen in the previous chapters. Therefore kudos on that part.
The rest of the battle was as usual, high quality action from multiple viewpoints. We were treated to the thoughts and emotions of combatants from both sides. My favorite part was probably the one with Spyro. Didn't expect him to get a scene of his own. Not to mention that, but they actually didn't fare that bad against Frost. Granted, they still lost, more or less, but it felt like Frost had to work for the win. However, I am more interested to see how the Stormhounds will handle Frost. Sure, he can shrug off projectile wounds, but beam blasts are supposed to be an entirely different story.
The best scene overall was the part with Lexi. I like the AI and it's always nice to see her getting more development. A little more and people will start to argue whether or not she is a person like everyone else. Though an AI with emotions is a mixed bag, since we all know how powerful some emotions can be. I am also starting to wonder whether Frost's little project of teaching Lexi about emotions won't backfire at him, when Lexi starts using her processing power to think not only with pure logic, but also learns how to take emotion based decisions in consideration.
I do however, have to point out one flaw in the chapter and that's about Alicia "Trueblade" and Aedan. Again you introduced them in the story like old characters. And while they are certainly known characters for those who play the RP, some readers might get confused. Not all readers play the game, so the sudden introduction of characters the reader is supposed to know can be rather confusing.
Look back at how you introduced Lazlo, the unfortunate Direcat rider. Or Adolf, that arrogant entrepreneur from the very start of the story. Or, check your previous stories when you introduced new characters. Those are good examples on how to do that. Why not use a system that works?