|Reviews for The Golden Age: Reclamation War|
| OrangeP47 chapter 12 . 7/12/2010
You know, it's really hard to review in order when you make some parts just so amazing. Anywho, I'll start by saying some more people get into those forums. While I'm dreading the thought of attracting someone as fanatical as Zutara, it really is for the best :D
(Mild gore description for this paragraph)
Moving on, the first major attack by Frost. You know, this is what I thought would happen at first, then I wondered if he'd wait for the kids, but no, he just went ahead. You really do a good job of keeping us guessing, ya know. As for the content, I wasn't too shocked at first, I've seen worse, and infact watched a rather violent movie last night as well as having been recently forwarded a picture of what happens if a 50 cal round goes off while your holding it. But then you got to where Frost bit off Cagalli's tows and ate them. Wow... just wow. Not to say the thought of him, or another like minded individual somewhere in horror, would do something like that was completely unthinkable to me, but I never figured he'd actually do it. It really drove home just what was going on. You sir deserve three thumbs up for that scene!
I'm also happy to say the last part excited me just as much. After the first half I was fully prepared to read a slow ending, but no, we finally get to see the Retributors up close! I had been wondering just what kind of assets they had, as I was a bit surprised the first time they were mentioned that they were actually a credible threat, let alone had the resources to maintain that position. Now I see why, and I can say I'm just beaming at the prospects. Not quite strong enough to behead the USN and fill the government with more suitable leaders, but in the future the possibilty certainly is there, in other words, the hope is definitely still there. Good to see Ashino getting along mostly well on a personal level as well.
| LightningEarl chapter 12 . 7/12/2010
Wow. What a very fascinating yet disturbing chapter. Frost and Lexi interaction gave me ideas. I mean, if Frost could influence Lexi and turn her into Dark/Evil Lexi, then Orb is sure to fall unless Cyprus do something about it. The whole Frost-Lexi conversation was really informative. I guess Frost really cared(in a bad way) for Lacus, huh? And Lexi is so a typical AI with all the cliche "I don't understand human feelings and what-not". You could have left that part out or atleast, lessen the implications that Lexi is just an AI without actual feelings. It's kinda getting repetitive with all the Sci-Fi fics I'm reading.
Anyways, I seriously love the gore in this chapter. It's filled with yuminess and satisfaction. Frost is too awesome for me to describe. I really like his twisted personality. I feel so sorry for Cagalli, being brutally tortured and beaten almost to death, that would leave a mark. Why does Cagalli always get the life-long traumatic experiences? I can't really remember correctly but didn't Cagalli went into some kind of depression during the previous series? You really like depicting Cagalli as the weakling in your fics, don't you? Oh yeah, although I really love the gory and brutal scenes, I kinda agree with Skyfall. It's kind of a waste to detail into Frost's brutal torture or massacre when you could advance the story further.
I'm really glad you featured Ashino in this chapter. It made me wonder whom he will end up with. Jean or Tam? But I'm betting my money on Jean. She's the first love after all and being the guy Ashino is, First love is always the strongest love. But if he chose Jean, will Tam become one of those emotional b*tches in chick movies that gets really jealous when the guy chooses another girl? She might be pretending to be all strong and understanding right now but girls can really change their personalities fast.
Okay, just wondering, where is this forums you're talking about? I checked your profile but the link wasn't there.
| Skyfall v2.0 chapter 1 . 7/12/2010
And the one below would be my review, since it seems FFnet likes to leave mine blank occasionally.
Not to make this a complete waste of space, let me say i have been wondering for a while now what the "Royalist" faction is and where it came from ... i wonder if the events in this chapter could in any way be the fact that would give birth to it, though i am still all but guessing of their ideologies, if they are distinct enough to make a separate allegiance entity.
| Guest chapter 12 . 7/12/2010
Now that's what i call attention to detail. This has been the second time you have caught me off-guard by a would-be dream sequence (only this time it was) ... i will need to undergo some mental training to be less suspectible to such deception. But what a good deception it has ... i was literally at the edge of my seat while Athrun was joking and waiting for Cagali to emerge, because it was clear Frost had been doing Bad Things(tm) to her, while keeping Athrun asleep so he would have all the time he needed to do them. The imagery in the bathrrom was powerful as well, you did well in bringing out the description of the mutilated corpse and Athrun's reactions.
And then the realization it was, in fact, a dream, which meant the real bad things were about to start. And Frost sure didn't disappoint there ... i might not be the biggest fan of Cagali, but wow, Frost really worked her over good ... far more extensive then i thought he would if he didn't go for a kill, but then again this is Frost we are talking about. Suffice to say, the scene was fittingly grotesque, and is likely to leave a lot of scars, both mental and physical, unless they get their hands on Noah's healing technology to take care of at least the physical side. Suffice to say, doesn't look like Cagali will be piloting anything anytime soon, without NIC controls.
And then there was the thought "and this is all going to be pinned on Kira (provided something doesn't screw up Frost's plans before that)" ... provided Cagali is conscious and non-comatose or withdrawn, Kira should have a bunch of Stormhounds crashing down his door soon enough ... or if they contact Lexi and find out Kira was indeed there. Still, that leaves the question of whether Lexi can confirm whether Kira was during his home at the time this took place (Her sensors should be able to reach there probably, even if she didn't pay 'active' attention to his shed at the time, and dig up sensory recordings or something) ... probably not enough to get Kira out of trouble immediately anyway, but something to keep him alive instead of being beaten to death with sticks.
Then we have the readings of 'minor anomalies' from "Kira" that Lexi encountered at the villa, the fact that if they indeed contact Kira's house immediately and find him there would leave questions on how he could potentially move around that fast (They are barely 3 minutes in after all) and the fact he should have golden pupils to Kira's silvery ones ... which is a fact that could be picked up sooner or later, sunglasses or not. (It isn't like Lexi's 'vision' is in any way limited to the physical angle of her projection's eyes, and flushing the thing through half a trillion filters should strip the veil away ... question is, is this something people (or even Lexi) would immediately think of doing. Would be quite amusing if they discovered this only after Kira's inevitable defection to Edenites after these events, where they would plead for forgiveness for their inevitably upcoming suspicion on him for ever thinking he was capable of such brutality, and have him tell them to go sod off, due to this own lack of trust in them at that point. Ooh, the potential angst ...
There is also the bit of Frost taking Athrun with him for now, but i can't even begin to imagine what he would plan on doing with him, so i will just sit tight and wait for that to develop. I am sure Frost (and you) can surprise us yet again.
Nothing much to say of Ashino for now, though glad to see he is still alive and kicking, can't wait to see him and the rest of his gang in action - the upcoming confrontation between the Retributors and what is likely Mechael should be a good one. Next chapter should be a good one indeed. (I know i keep saying that, but they keep getting better and better). Back to my corner ...
| Rihaku chapter 11 . 7/12/2010
Larger issue: even if Lexi didn't notice all the differentiating factors that marked Frost as Definitely Not Kira internally, she would definitely notice his lack of 'it.' 'It' has been steadily increasing in Kira since the incident with Noah and its absence is a total no-brainer that something major is up, given that 'it' is pretty much impossible to remove while keeping the body intact. The only possible justification I can think of is that Kira programmed Lexi to be stupid around him and his medical records because he didn't like the idea of someone who resembles a cross between Lacus and Cagalli having an intimate knowledge of his body, but security issues prevented him from making Lexi stupid around anyone else.
| Guest chapter 12 . 7/12/2010
I do hope, for the sake of the story, that the next frost chapters are more compact or contain several scenes instead of the one; if he goes through every single member like this the fic will start to resemble a monotonous gore-flick with no plot than the compelling yarn it's been. The issue, of course, is that Frost beating the crap out of people consumes a large number of words but does not actually advance anything in the bigger picture, especially after the initial beatdown upon which the large majority of wide-scale consequences stem.
I found Cagalli's plot-mandated stupidity to be kind of annoying, given the number of hints Frost dropped before he even did anything. The disparity in their power levels means that it would have made no difference to the scene if she started fighting earlier, and would have made her more characteristically sound, as Cagalli is not one to go helplessly into anything. She is the kid of Ulen Hibiki, who was brilliant if megalomaniacal.
I suppose this chapter does do a good job of balancing out the Edenites and USN viscerally; on the Edenite side you have the Caller and Frost and on the USN side you have Durandal, Natalia, Roanoke, and all their friends. Though the Caller is more a Nozickan utility monster made flesh and Frost isn't so much a person as a man-made natural disaster, like...an oil spill or something. There does have to be a lot of damage to compensate for the improved medical technology in the series, but frankly anything less than death isn't permanent to anyone with access to near-Edenite level healthcare. There are of course the mental consequences, but getting beat up by Frost, an enemy she can hate, is much less scarring than getting beat up by Kira, and that distinction will be made soon enough in-universe time even if we readers will have to wait a while.
Will Kira and Frost fight? It would be a cool scene to have, the first bout between the agent of evolution and the one who evolves. Lexi apparently doesn't know where the real Kira is right now so he could be somewhere on Orb. If he is, he'd definitely be able to sense the doesn't-know-how-to-hide-his-mental-presence Frost. That would assist also in breaking the monotony of Frost curbstomping everyone, and would give Frost a chance to discover the power of Latents before Kira has access to a weapon that can easily terminate his enhanced body (like a QC sword or handheld hyper-impulse cannon) while it's disabled by usurped psionic power, and before Kira knows enough about psychic abilities to brainkill him.
LEXI's speech-analytical heuristics don't seem to be too advanced if she can't distinguish between someone who refers to Akira and Aoi as 'the offspring' and the real deal. This is somewhat contradictory, given that her own speech patterns are very sophisticated, to the degree that she gives off the impression of sentience/personhood. Well, the more glaring issue is that Frost's implants appear to be unobtrusive enough not to raise any warning flags, though I am a bit skeptical that she'd be unable to recogonize the extremely distinctive structures of quamtum crystal embedded in his bones, especially considering her work on Gundam design. Presumably she has some way of perceiving the inside of his body on a molecular level with her comments on his blood and bone matter, and even crude x-ray imagery can easily detect non-bone bodies embedded in bone. Given that he's stronger and way tougher than Kira, his muscles would also have to be either much bigger, much denser, or composed of a different material - all things that can't change in a few days without extensive surgery. He's also using parts of his brain that are associated with active Newtypes, and Kira 1) isn't one and 2) can't mimic those effects with Lacus 'dead.' They had Newtype brain pattern detectors eight years ago, so Lexi should be able to distinguish those patterns rather rapidly, since Frost is stupid (or rather, extremely focused in what he's smart at).
As Lexi does not have the chemicals that cause grief, sadness, hate, or fear, it would make sense that she wouldn't feel them appreciably. What, then, is the cause for her whimsy? her programmer was probably, in large part, Kira: did he simply decide to spare her from negative emotions and write heuristics for positive/fun ones? That would explain her playful sparring with Cyprus and Allister but her flipside inability to comprehend negative emotions. She definitely does seem to have a nonobjective comprehension of aesthetics.
I think you should cut down on Author's Notes, especially metareferential ones, as they break the flow of the story and have no relevance to future readers who will move through several chapters at a time. You could also post and then delete them a few days later, when they're irrelevant.
| Grand Zephyrus chapter 12 . 7/11/2010
What is it with you and doing horrible thins to characters! I understand that sometimes they need to be beat up a little. But what you do is on a level all its own!
| Cyspark01 chapter 11 . 7/11/2010
It seems that Kunai turned down all the high-ranking positions of Garden City but he appears to be a backseat driver politician by his demeanor, only that he is the leader of the elite version of Edenite Special Forces. I don't like how the Grand Chimerae basically saw the future of the Yamato-Clyne's deaths and didn't try to get them saved considering that the y were the ones that could have brought all the Edenites back into "modern life" with the USN and the rest of humanity. Kira's conditioning puts him in the eye of the storm.
Kunai was hinting at Kira as needing the greatest moblie suit pilot to ever live so I'm guessing that after he falls into complete despair. he will find his way to Garden City in order to be trained in his Newtype abilities and to potentially train and lead the Praetorians into battle against the USN and the Reclaimer Institute.
Hiero seems to have some doubts about kunai which is good since he feels guitly about Ms. Lacus and her children. I bet if the children grew up he could have potentially used them in a plot somewhere down the line.
Noah is only alive, no surprise so that Gil has somebody to gloat to. After 7 seven years, Noah is just waiting for Frost /Kira to wake up and start disrupting the peace and give him some excitement. I'm hoping that somewhere down the road Noah gets back down to Earth and meets up with Kunai. That could be pivotal to the story.
So after Frost gets a hold of the children what happens next, does he have some plan to get them after them? I almost feel bad that the real Kira is going to get blamed for this but with his mood and his state of mind. i don't think he could ever kidnap his own nephew ever.
But also, what is going to happen with Frost when Cray starts to show up, since he is an underling will he have Latent Newtype powers, at least?
This chapter is going to start some serious problems with even more serious repressions. If Cagalli found out that her family and espesically her child was in danger would she even go back into Seed mode like she did in Gundam Seed? She is capable just like Cyrus Finch but I'm sure under enough stimuli that won't be too hard for her to get into.
| muciope chapter 11 . 7/10/2010
Yay! Another update. Filler stuff is still good.. looking forward to epic stuff soon.
| Byron12 chapter 11 . 7/9/2010
Wait a minute how could frost slip pass their sericuty and meyrin really doesn't get it she's a lost soul but that's her and i really have nothing to say about durandal and noah will they die soon enough
| Air-Quiet-Reader chapter 11 . 7/9/2010
And now I can't help but dislike the controlling of Yggdrasil, which I think is going to come back and bite the Edenites reall bad. Why do the people of this tale seem so intent to give SO MUCH power to things that could really screw them over if they went rogue? (referencing LEXI and that other one, ofcourse) The EDENites, as well as USN and ORB, seem very stupid to me to put so much trust in these things. "Everything will work out right in the end"- Kunai is going to get seriously, seriously rude awakening believing, with such certainy, such things- which I have a pretty good feeling is just BS by a higher power manipulating him.
The Edenite views on the future kind of confuse me. Based on the fact that they act so certainly based on the predictions, it would have me believe they think these predictions are certains and that outside influences, other than them apparently, could not change them (which, if the did, would not necessitate the need for them to act in such a way so quickly to change it). And yet, the do act, apparently to change the future, which thus must be changeable.
Which has me somewhat confused on whether or not I disagree with their notions on the future. I'm of the Twilight (what's with me referencing pop-culture lately?) theory that the future is not set in stone, and can easily change with people making new decisions, not the "our future and our actions are set in stone." kind of thing. It's hard for me to get a reading o nwhich one the EDENites are- I mean maybe they didn't think an other actions could change that future, but with something so widescale, I would think that the future would be rather unclear as so many different decisions and people could affect it.
In addition, why such great lengths to get Kira to their side? Why couldn't they just ask for his help and piloting skills to protect them? Iguess they need him to be more offensive and pilot their machines, but still, it seems very hasty an extreme. Not to mention they undoubtedly make themselves enemies of Kira and Lacus once, and if, the are reunited. (unless the are going to die in some tragic Romeo and Juliet fashion at the end of this tale..:()
And though you don't give away Lacus is alive, you certainly give some not-too-subtle hints she is indeed, alive. I eagerly wait to see her again (or you confirm her death, very clearly), and see how she is feeling about this.
Odd the parallels between Gil and Kunai. Both seem to underestimate the damage Kira can do to them. I do hope both are really knocked off their high thrones.
Very JIHAD like scenario you got going- sickening and undoubtedly a good job of creating sympathy from the readers- much more than what was going on in JIHAD (even though people like Cray and Frost were once innocent and terribly brutalized by JIHAD to become what they were, well..it was hard to feel sympathy for such monsters, especially ones that seemingly embrace it so much)
Halloween time..this isn't going to end well. But, I am still skeptical of Frost's ability to get the children by pretending to be Kira- especially with people who know him very well there.
Very nice multiple-set up and revealing chapter.
| Asmus chapter 11 . 7/9/2010
I have to say, I do envy you a bit. It is more than obvious that you love to write about the Edenite culture and civilization. Introducing something you've spent a lot of time creating is one hell of a joy. Too bad I have a long road ahead of me before I can do the same.
Anyway, the Sai and Hiero scene was good. I really like Hiero for having the balls to stand against Sai, despite the immense power the latter possesses.
I kind of suspected that Sai's plan was to corrupt Kira and then have him join the Edenites. It looks like USN is a lot more powerful than most people think if Sai, probably the most informed person when it comes to army strength, understands that Edenites need Kira, just to have a chance. With that I completely agree. USN has a strong strategic advantage, the literary high ground, and they don't have to fear their soldiers getting emotionally too involved in battle. (I addressed it in a previous PM some time ago.) On the other hand, killing Earthlings (by the way do you have a term for normal humans? "Earthlings" sound a bit too ... strange) doesn't generate the emotional backlash, so it will be a lot easier for Edenites to kill Humans.
Like already mentioned, Durandal does need someone to gloat to. Mostly because he doesn't have a worthy opponent, someone equal. At least for now. I still think he should have put a bullet in Noah's head and be done with it. The entire scene had one big "massive payback approaching" written all over it. You know, it would be funny if Noah and Durandal ended up in opposite roles. This time with Noah being the one doing the gloating while Durandal has nothing but funny remarks.
The part with Meyrin left me conflicted. Part of me is horrified by the atrocities performed by FEAR. However, another part of me realizes, that is one of the ways of gaining knowledge. Yes, it's terrible and inhuman, but knowledge is knowledge. For example, during WW2, Imperial Japan had a special division (Unit 731), who performed various experiments on POWs. The experiments were pretty much similar to the ones you described. After the war was over, it is believed that US took the research data of those experiments for themselves.
Thing is some of the knowledge is actually pretty useful. For example, they experimented on how high pressure affects people and how long it takes for them to die. Today, that knowledge, gained in a horrible way, lets us know what to expect when someone is exposed to a high pressure environment. We can therefore design adequate safety measures, doctors know what might and will go wrong and how to possibly treat it and so on. I guess this is the part where knowledge gained by inhuman means, can be used for good in the right hands.
So Frost is going trick-or-treating and he's even wearing a Kira costume. I'm sure he'll get lots of candy. Despite being inside the same house with Frost, I think Cagalli and Athrun will be safe. Frost is after the kids after all, so the parents are safe ... for now. Don't know why, but my guess is that Allister will be the first one to fall into Frost's hands. His abduction will definitely make the biggest impact. Especially sine Cagalli and Kira are not on the best terms right now.
Anyway, I'm waiting for the next chapter. By the way, when we'll finally se Alkire, Raine and Ashino? You've left them out of the story long enough and I do miss them. Furthermore, what exactly is that unpleasant experience/exposure Raine suffered in GE?
| LightningEarl chapter 11 . 7/9/2010
Zutara: About the crying you a river, building a bridge and getting over it, I have to say; been there, done that.
TO THE REVIEW!
Hiero is love. Yes, pure love. Being able to stand up against Kunai, that's what I'm talking about! He might be able to steal my bias for Kira... Hmmm... I was wondering about Sai's condition and how he could walk. Thanks for explaining that. I now fear him. If he's really that powerful, then USN must complete their anti-psychics project because if they don't, they might as well go into space without their spacesuits and get it over with.
I'd like to mention this, I am an ORB SUPPORTER! Is that plausible? Orb has the potential to unite the Edenites and humans. They could also convince other humans to convert themselves to Edenites. With Orb's major players working together, there's nothing they can't do! - Sounds something that came from a cheesy anime tag line.
I have mixed feeling about Noah. I mean, I've gone through hating him and then loving him and then hating him again and vice versa. But now, I have neutral feelings. He seems to be plotting something once he escapes. And it's really weird for him to warn Durandel. What is happening to Noah? And Durandel is a big idiot for underestimating Orb, it's occupants and Kira. GAWD! Durandel should just die. I kinda liked the idea of Frost killing Durandel. Hehehehe... Frost can be related to extreme pain. Yum.
I feel bad for the edenites held captive by FEAR. It's a good thing you didn't go into detail much. If you did, I might have to say goodbye to my good night sleep. The picture of their grotesque bodies is horrifying. McNabb is a bully. A coward one at that. Well, all of them are. But anyways, I hate him for making Meyrin's life a lot more miserable! Meyrin should cut the guy's penis and let it bleed thoroughly. *I can't believe I said that... .*
The innuendos in this chapter is a bit cheesy and hilarious. LOL at Cagalli, Athrun and their beloved space monster. I was shocked at Allister change of attitude, I can't believe he's the same mature child that gave the stormhounds' training in their PUMAs a lot difficult. But I guess that's understandble after the death of his friends. I'm not a psychologist so I can't really say anything for sure.
Frost will leave the ORBITES in despair and Kira will be the one to take the blame. How lovely. This will make things easier for Kira to evolve into Dark Kira. :P
| gatorfan chapter 11 . 7/8/2010
I had been wondering how Sai was walking if he was still paralyzed. I hadn't even considered he was using his psychic powers, which actually sound quite scary. I wouldn't try to pick a fight with him.
It was nice to see Noah again, and I can't believe I just said that. He's right though, Gil should listen to him about Kira. I hope Noah is able to escape one day.
I do feel sorry for Meyrin and the other Edenites having to undergo all that torture. Despite the bad things she did, like using that cannon, she doesn't deserve to be treated that way.
And now Frost's night is here. I've been worried about that. I hope everyone will survive it. It's a shame the two people who would know it's not Kira aren't there. Katie needs to get herself to earth asap.
Keep up the awesome work and I'll be impatiently awaiting the next chapter.
| OrangeP47 chapter 11 . 7/8/2010
Oh dear, being called out for my marginal (at best) support of the USN. I suppose I better make a statement, despite my hesistancy to clog up the review section.
Let me put it this way Zutara. The USN isn't past the point of no return. I'm confident that once the "evil" as you put (I don't really like to think of things in terms of good and evil, really) is purged, the USN governmental structure can still exist and continue to keep the majority of humanity in some semblance of order. As said in your review, despite dismissing it, the leadership doesn't reperesent the people very well. The vast majority are good, honest people. As such, while the USN's actions are very regretable, every defeat they suffer is more burden placed squarely on the shoulders of the common folk. The big shots aren't going to be feeling those Edenite victories, your average Joe on the street is.
Pesonally, I hope that Ashino and his crew somehow manage to cut off the head of the USN and come into power themselves. I'm not sure if he'll take a diplomatic approach to New Eden, but it'll atleast be a better situation then we have now.
In closing, didn't Maderfole say something awhile back about setting up some forums on his account or something. Perhaps that would be a better place to debate such issues.