|Reviews for The Golden Age: Reclamation War|
| OrangeP47 chapter 13 . 7/24/2010
You know, the more you put me in awe, the harder it is for me to write a detailed, coherent review.
Anywho, I like the first part. Didn't enjoy it as much as I could, because it was obvious more Frost action was comming (Infact the first thing I did was send a few msn messages to that effect, before scrolling down to make sure there actually was some, on the off chance I was wrong). While Mr. Smith (I don't know why I'm going to call him that, but I think I will) seems pretty annoying, I don't think he's really bad. He doesn't seem to really be a fighter, more of a bored immature kid in a super-charged body.
Next the trick-or-treating. Dunno if I've ever said this, but its the small details of background information that really make this story for me, such as the "coordinator children are more talkitive at this age, etc etc..." Those comments right there are what really make your world seem more alive then the generic fan fiction.
As for the actual attack, short to the point, good contrast to last time. Nice to see all the kids for once, even if it was in such an unfortunate situation. I have a feeling Violet is going to be corrupted quite easily. Frost's personality will lend itself to letting her imprint on him, he's stronger then her dad and she's going to want to learn how to use that strength.
Not much to say about the last section. Liked the freekout, good to see Jiro again too, I suppose. He reminds me of a friend, both in both pesonality and actions, so I always enjoy seeing how he reacts.
| Knightmare Gundam of Ni chapter 13 . 7/24/2010
It's nice to see how Lain and Stella are doing, and what they're doing. Although I don't think I envy them going up against Ashino and his buddies.
As for the rest...Crud, you're not pulling punches. I wait to see how this gets resolved...even slightly.
| Anonymous chapter 12 . 7/21/2010
Please update I don't know if I can wait any longer
| muciope chapter 12 . 7/19/2010
Ice Storm? More like the Storm of Falling Icebergs.. Holy FRACK.. lol. I cannot articulate how.. MASTERFUL that scene was written. I felt my bile rise thrice.. splendid. Scary stuff.. absolutely horrible. The Ashino part was a nice dampener.. but I felt this chapter would have so much more impact if it was just about Frost without any other stuff (like Ashino). I do await the outrage of this 'incest' with glee. Frost did 'release' into Cagalli the seed of Kira.. or his genetic equivalent. Shiver..
I do wonder though.. How did you feel writing this scene? The author's commentary.. wow.. I was really hoping there's no more character death between the major characters. One is enough for the beginning of the story. ;) Happy Hallowe'en indeed. haha.
Cheers and await more jaw drops.
| AtrumUnas chapter 12 . 7/18/2010
SORRY! Holy GOD! I'm off on vacation for a WEEK and (!)THIS(!) happens!
Again, you've managed to twine my heartstrings like a bard a snap them with a knife. I've always had a bit of a weak spot for rape, though... still, I never expected you to actually sick Frost on Cagalli. That's very cold... and murderous... and downright evil... So I guess it's really just Frost.
I honestly can't even put my feelings to justice in words. That is downright harsh. Being mutilated and raped by his own 'brother', that's one of the worst fates I could ever imagine. That's especially true considering that for a while she actually thought it was Kira. I can't possibly imagine where her mind went after even five minutes, but the name he called her and his totally opposite behavior probably would have told her that it wasn't Kira. She couldn't know that it was Frost; Frost has been dead for a decade and the last time she saw him, he was in his own BCPU body... I am really not doing this justice whatsoever so I'm just going to stop trying.
I think that I'm a pro-Edenite. I'm definitely not a USN supporter; I'd really rather annihilate the lot of them and rebuild from scratch considering how twisted their governmental system is. The Edenites, however... Sai reminds me too much of Aes Sedai, if you know what they are, always sitting in the shadows and manipulating people and events "for the greater good". Such people disgust me. There is no doubt in my mind that Sai is the one who is really in control of the Edenites, not the Consols. It's like the Catholic Church and the Holy Roman Empire... the Pope is still in charge whether it's official or not. I couldn't support Sai without knowing what hand he had in Lacus's death, whether I was right or he was even more devious than I expected. At this point I supposed I'm really just pro-Kira with a strong leniency towards the Edenites. Kira and his faction will have my full support, even if they go against what the Edenites want.
As for why I haven't commented on the chapter in so long, I already said I was on vacation. This has been the longest you've had to wait to hear my beautiful voice in the review slot: a week! That's a long time for me!
Alright, now I just have to let this chapter sink in... wait for it...
| Cyspark01 chapter 12 . 7/16/2010
First off, thank you for this excellent chapter. All the tensions of Halloween have been just made the mood perfect for Frost.
So far the damages that Frost did to the lone Stormhound seemed to be the lightest for his planned night of "FUN". I feel so bad for Athrun since the psychic beating he got so far was probably going to be the lightest of damages that he will get from Frost but getting kidnapped means he can just about end up anywhere in Orb, which isn't a good thing at all.
Now Cagalli as much as she is just realtively stupid towards the plot. I mean if somebody called you a name that should have brought up very painful thoughts and nightmares, you would defensively respond to the name as the one who did those things to you no matter what. but instead Fiery Athha-Zala responds with, "Kira is that you?" Really I mean really even under all the bad feelings and angst that Kira has gone through he will never call you that name.
Also stupid Cagalli had the decision to turn of LEXI's audio pickups in the house. She pulled off the stupid move, thats like turning off all the power in the White House its not supposed to happen ever, under any and all circumstances. I just hope that Frost doesn't meet up with the trick-or-treating kids.
On another note, I really glad that Ashino is doing well with the Retributors. He's a really good leader now that, but I bet that he misses his almost family Jean and Eric Kellson, but theres to many factors working against him to do anything about that. He sees the true side of the corrupt USN and very successfully got a small portion of the people to defect which is no small feat at all.
I hope that sometime in the future he at least comes back to New Eden and meets up with Kunai. I'm sure that Ashino will recognize him especially since they are good friends and the upper tier of the old Isolationist government.
| Air-Quiet-Reader chapter 1 . 7/13/2010
Chapter 12 review part 2
Aciddently entered it before I mean too.
The Ashino part was interesting certainly, especially about his new found relationship. I am rather like the retributors- and I'm quite curious about what they think of the edenites.
Is Cagalli no longer going to be able to talk after the throat injury? I should hope not, but I remain skepetical of Frost's ability to lastingly deceive. Surely Cagalli, and everyone else, could deduce that it was NOT KIRA. Cagalli especially, given that Frost wasn't even trying to pull a charade. If they really think Kira, even in the condition he is in, would do that to Cagalli, well then, I find their lack of faith disturbing. Not to mention Cagalli had to have sensed that something else was up than Kira going insane from Athrun's nightmare hysteria, unless she has completely ignored everything the newtypes have said about latent powers the past 14 years or so.
The chapter has some questionable placement, but a superbly wirrten chapter nonetheless.
| Air-Quiet-Reader chapter 12 . 7/13/2010
I'll get this out of the way- I'm not sure about doing the Ashino bit right after the horrific scene. Not that the Ashino bit was bad, but I just can't help it feel misplaced, and it kind of subtracts from the impact. Ending off the chapter with the last sentence of the mature content would have been best, I think. I would have put Ashino's part before, or perhaps in the next chapter.
That's what one gets for putting so much trust in a giant computer, I say, as far as the security failing. Hopefully it will cause less trust in LEXI now, even if LEXI seems pretty alright.
What can I say about the Frost scene? It's like something out of a great horror movie. I think it could be a tad overboard, even for you- and previous exploits of horror don't seem to compare at the moment. Even with all the buildup, rather shocking. Unsure if really fits in that well with the story thus far (the entire series I mean)- seems like a creative binge. But a great scene on it's own, nonetheless, for horror. I was getting the chills.
| Byron12 chapter 12 . 7/12/2010
all i gotta say is keep up the great work you did a very good job writing this
| gatorfan chapter 12 . 7/12/2010
I knew Frost's handiwork would be bad, but not quite that bad. I hope Cagalli will be alright but if she does survive, she'll think it was Kira who did that to her, so their relationship will be severely damaged. I suspect that'll play a role in Kira going over to the Edenite side.
I'm actually quite scared to see what else Frost has in store for the rest of the night. I'm sure it won't be good.
Looks like Ashino and Tamara are doing well. I'm a bit disappointed he didn't wait for Jean, but I can't really blame him. Hopefully they can rescue the Extendeds who were captured.
Excellent work again, and I hope to see more soon.
| LordRevanMandaloreofZutara chapter 12 . 7/12/2010
Reclamation War, Chapter 12 Review Part 2
Part 6: Response to Other Reviewers
Well Asmus, it is a good thing that you did not say “it would be impossible not to feel sorry for Cagalli” since I don’t feel sorry for here. You reap what you sow, and Cagalli sowed this particular seed when she helped Durandel defeat Noah. Besides, didn’t Cagalli want people to understand each other? If she still wants that then she now understands who the Edenites feel up in FEAR’s laboratories. It is not a nice feeling. Not a nice feeling at all.
I also agree with Rihaku. Cagalli’s plot mandated stupidity got real old real quick. I mean, yes, she could not know that Frost was still alive (sort of) and had come back, but come on Cagalli, give Kira a little bit more credit then that. He wouldn’t just snap, not so quickly. And even if he did he is not the kind of person to sexually assault you. Oh he probably would have tortured you, but not rape you. Of course some things must be done in order to advance the plot. Still, it will be amusing to see what the Stormhounds do to Kira when they catch him at his home.
Part 7: Conclusion
So begins the time of judgment for Kira. As I have laid out in my Equal Justice For All, And I Am Not A Fanatic Topic in RW Discussions, I want all those who have done unjust things to be punished. Since Kira has done more unjust things then most (save Durandel) his punishment should be the longest and most brutal. I cannot wait to see what Frost does for the rest of Halloween.
| LordRevanMandaloreofZutara chapter 12 . 7/12/2010
Reclamation War, Chapter 12 Review Part 1
Part 1: Author’s Note
First off, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! I will go over my overall opinions of the various section later on, but I THROUGHLY enjoyed this chapter. There were a few rough spots, a time or two when I was upset with you (mostly about teasing me) but all in all it was the most satisfying chapter to date.
Part 2: The “Peaceful Home”, the End of All, and a possible love interest?
So we start off late at night at Villa Pacifica, the so called Peaceful Home. There seems to be a lot of security, which is only natural. But all of that security means nothing if it does not stop Frost from getting inside.
And I kind of agree with Rihaku and Skyfall. To my mind it should have been obvious to Lexi that something was not right with “Kira”. According to all the specs we were given, Frost is just way to different to Kira, even though they look alike. I remember from the Clone Wars books that several times it was mentioned that even though all of the Jango Fett clones were still identical genetically, the different planets, wounds, and experiences they had experienced had changed them so that they weren’t all the same anymore. I figure it would be the same way with Frost. With as many times as he has cut up his face, one would think that something would be off about him. I don’t know what, but there would be some difference, some sort of “smell” for lack of a better word, left by the nanites that basically regenerate his face. Or maybe Noah designed Frost’s upgrades to be invisible/diminished in the eyes of scanners. It is not as big a deal to me as it was to Rihaku, but I just thought I’d mention it to you.
One interesting thing to note is how Frost perceives other people. Noah saw people as mathematical equations, Meyrin saw Noah as a blinding beam of light, Lacus saw people as they were ( I think), and I don’t remember what Katie and Yzak see people as. For Frost it makes perfect sense. I am very curious, however, what he would see when he looks at Kira, Kunai, Yggdrasil, the Leviathan, the Caller (I just know that those two will meet sometime in the future), and any other powerful Edenite.
We then come to Lexi/Frost interaction. Maybe I have just a slightly twisted mind, but I would love to see future interactions and a sort of relationship built between Frost and Lexi. I am not sure what it should be yet, but I think it would be nice for Frost to meet someone that can really challenge him, but not necessarily be an enemy. I am not asking for or suggesting any sort of lovey-dovey relationship, but given the fact that Frost has the BIIC machine, couldn’t he put Lexi in a physical body? At this point it is very unclear, but you did put a curious sentence in the Stormhound chapter, one that now has a little bit more meaning to it in light of what is happening between Frost and Lexi. Of course I could just be shooting in the dark here, but Noah and Meyrin was apparently done on a whim, one that turned out very well in my opinion.
As far as Lexi herself goes, I find that I like her. It is too bad that she is trapped in the service of Orb, but maybe that will change. On a side note, do the Edenites have any AIs or are they even working on them?
Moving on and wrapping up Part 2. Carome, what is the reason behind that nickname? To me it makes no sense… But it is nice to see that Ramierez still remembers the lesson that Ashino taught him. I still believe he and Thomas got what they deserved. That was mean of them to do what they did to Ashino. Anyway, Frost took care of the lone Stormhound, and now we get to the really good part.
Part 3: Nightmare
First off this is one of those instances where I am upset with you. You are such a tease. You are playing with my heart, first building up the suspense, then Athrun getting out of bed, and finding such a mess in the bathroom, and then seeing that Cagalli is dead. Of course while most of my mind was rejoicing in the punishment that Cagalli was finally receiving for the injustices she committed on the Edenites. But at the back of my mind I remembered Lacus and I remembered the fact that Frost did not want to kill them. And so it was with a heavy heart when I realized that Cagalli was still alive. But then you made it all better by having Frost punish Cagalli for all her comments about Edenites. But more on that later.
Right, first paragraph review! Will someone just hit Athrun right in the mouth to SHUT HIM UP! Quit complaining you loser! Your health was not “taken” from you by events in the past. You gave your health up in order to oppose the creator of the Edenites. You have no one to blame but yourself. No one forced you to take the AMP shot, and no one has kept the treatment that will cure you away from you. The only thing that keeps you in pain is your stubborn pride and your ignorant views. You are so afraid of psychics that you allowed a demagogue to take command of what could have been a very beneficial system of government. So, either shut up, take the cure, or allow Akire to stick his leadfoot so far up your ass that it will burst your gut wall and allow all of your sickly, radiation infected organs to spill out allowing you die and spare us the sound of your whining!
Now that I have gotten that out of my system, I was so delighted to see Athrun suffering. I remember the Battle of Cape York, and how Athrun stopped Noah’s last great attack. His refusal to let New Eden come peacefully has cost a great many lives, most of them Edenite. This is part of his judgment, the judgment that all of Orb should and will feel. Later on I will put something up in the forum to better state my views, but for now I find myself content with his nightmarish suffering. I am not sure what Frost will do to him in the coming chapters, but I am sure that it will be good. If I may make a suggestion, perhaps Frost should focus heavily on facial mutilation. Perhaps Frost can repeat something similar to what he did to Kira on that abandoned beach. It would be interesting to see what blood full of Nanites can do to a human body. Or perhaps Frost may try to turn Athrun into an Edenite. That is more of a shoot in the dark since I don’t see how he could have Green EDEN. Maybe he can make some? Or maybe he will just stick to the traditional torture.
Part 4: Torture
Now we get to the heart of this chapter. The part where Cagalli pays for her disrespect of Lacus’ offer of Newtype assistance. This is the part where Cagalli pays for her efforts to impede the progression of New Eden. I loved this part. Now don’t get me wrong, if this was real life I would not be as joyous, even if Cagalli did deserve it. But since this is fiction…
YES! YESS! TAKE THAT YOU EDENITE HATER! THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT! THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING OF YOUR PUNISHMENT! HOW DO YOU LIKE IT! HOW DO YOU ENJOY BEING HELPLESS, UNABLE TO ESCAPE, FORCED TO ENDURE THE CRUEL/EVIL MINSTRATIONS OF YOUR CAPTURER!
This section really got me pumped up. If FEAR hadn’t been so cruel to its prisoners then I would not be enjoying this as much as I am. But FEAR has, and so now the Edenites are paying back the Natural scum for seven years of hell. I am very glad that Cagalli is the first of the CF to feel Frost’s wrath (Athrun doesn’t count since his real session has not begun yet). Her blatant mistrust of Edenites, even ones such as her close friend Lacus, has rubbed me the wrong way for a long, long time. Another thing that makes me hopping mad is the inequality in terms of punishment that is given out by the USN. For seven years the Edenites have borne the brunt of the USN’s wrath, taking it time and time again. Orb has suffered, in they way I suffer when I fall down and skin my knees. Sure, it hurts, but it not life threatening. Not like what the Edenites have experienced. Oh, you are economically depressed now, oh, you have to live under an orange energy dome, oh, the Tyrant Geno-King has it in for you, oh you poor, poor babies. Try living through a Holocaust you stuck up brats.
But here, now, the pain of the Edenites is finally flowing into Orb and Cagalli. Here she has learned the terror, the pain, the hopeless the Edenites face not just in the work camps, but up in the FEAR Colony. At last, she can understand just how bad the Edenites have it. Will it make her their ally? Probably not. The Royalist faction will probably be anti-Edenites. But at least she is reaping what she sowed seven years ago. It is a very good feeling indeed.
Part 5: Ashino
We at last see Ashino. I am glad to see that he is doing well, having gotten a piece of the Solar System free from the tyranny of the USN. Though to tell the truth, I had not expected this. I had thought that he would declare a section of the Asteroid belt to be free, not a whole colony! But I like this better. With this city, any anti-USN/Durandel alliance now has a much better base from which to construct itself.
It is also nice to see him building a relationship with Logan. Hopefully Jean will die soon and he can be with Logan full time. And Mechael Smith will soon be entering the picture, I can’t wait!
End of Reclamation War, Chapter 12 Review Part 1
| Asmus chapter 12 . 7/12/2010
How was that relatively safe? It was the complete opposite of safe!
Maybe it was my legendary skill of noticing little things (except in the Lacus gets killed chapter), but I instantly suspected the whole bathroom scene to be nothing more than a dream. However, considering what happened in real life, the slasher fic scene was kinda merciful for Athrun.
You were right, the M warning was needed. Hell, I haven't read M stories with this much gore in them, I guess you really do mean it when you warn us. There was one thing that bothered me. The warning of the beginning and the end of the horror scenes, though necessary, did break up the flow of the story.
Other than the big warning in the author's notes, may I suggest something else? For example the line of scene breakers (xxxx) at the beginning and the end. You could make them in the bold style, or make them all capital, bold letters, or use a different letter entirely - (vvvvv) for example.
This could also serve as a warning, but it would be slightly more subtle and unobtrusive.
I guess it's good ole pitchforks and torches for our dear Kira. If he merely gets exiled, he can consider him being very lucky and Cagalli feeling merciful.
Furthermore, he doesn't have an alibi. Lexi saw "Kira" in the mansion, he left undeniable, genetic proof that he was there, and he had been acting all withdrawn and angsty lately.
I have to say, it's probably impossible not to feel sorry for Cagalli. An experience like that is something no one ever fully recovers from. Considering that she still must be emotionally fragile from that Spiffy thing, it only makes matters worse. I mean rape alone is horrible enough, but all those injuries ... it's serious stuff. The only thing you could have made this scene even worse, was if Frost allowed Athrun to watch the whole thing.
And the best/worst thing is, it's not over yet. Rather, it's only the beginning. I don't know exactly what Frost has planned for Athrun, but I am more than certain it won't be pleasant.
I am glad to see Ashino alive and well. I did miss him. Can't wait to see him in action. My guess, we're about to see Stella and Lain as well. Who else can those reinforcements be? It will be good to see the BCPU going up against an Extended. Yes, it has already happened when Extendeds fought Cray, but this time the fight is going to be more even.
Sorry if I don't have much to say about Ashino, the previous scenes really did pull all the attention on the events in Orb. I think you should keep this in mind, whenever you're writing similar chapters. Having such bad crap happen in one scene tends to draw the attention away from events taking place elsewhere.
| kiman1917 chapter 12 . 7/12/2010
Wow... You certainly ticked off A LOT of Cagalli fans. I can tell Kira is going to get heck for this trajety. Also, you might be getting a bit out of line with Frost because there is the Frost that we know from CC and the Frost that we know now from RW where he seems 10x's worse. I know he is exacting revenge but his character seems different for some odd reason. Possibly because he was waiting for so long in deaths door I don't know but he seems to have changed
| OrangeP47 chapter 12 . 7/12/2010
Crap, forgot one point as well. I very much enjoyed the scene with Lexi at the start. On one hand I really hope she's smart enough not to give into Frost, but on the other, why do I feel something bad is going to happen. *sigh* Overall though, it is nice to get some insight into the "mind" of an AI. "Squisies", lol. Also I couldn't help but imagine her dressed up as a witch in some government offical's office on Halloween, just as a prank or something. Sound like it'd certainly be within her abilities and personality.