Reviews for a different Carpe Corpus
vamperella not dressed in yell chapter 1 . 6/2/2014
anon chapter 19 . 3/28/2013
Please make Amelie see sense, I want to let them keep it. xx
Ena chapter 19 . 7/19/2012
Update it now! i really like this... now!
For now I remain hidden chapter 19 . 11/27/2011
No story never has merit. You might want to consider getting beta reader to help you with your errors but someone who knows Morganville vampires extremely well. I would offer myself however i have no time :( I think this story could be really good and as a young writer myself who started off shit then got better i have some advice:

Make sure your chapters are lengthy. If a fanfiction regular reader comes along and sees the first chapter is very short they will 70% of the time just switch off and not bother reading it.

Get your plot/main part of the story sorted in your head before you even start posting. Asking advice from the public/readers doesn't look good one your part. If you have an overall idea in your head then ask small things like the gender of the baby or a certain idea then fine. But asking about what actually happening is not a good idea.

Posting on a regular basis or far less important than having good quality chapters. It seems extremely tempting to just post it when you've got a days work done but thats not good. I spend at least a week on each chapter and they turn out to be good quality and over 5000 words. Some weeks its down to 2000 and though it may feel like lots 1000 is really very short.

I understand that finding something to write about is difficult but that means you need to go way more into description of feelings and Claire's thoughts. What Claire thinks privatly and what she says should be different not only because that is how everyone thinks naturally but also it creats lots of contrast which is very entertaining. Claire could find herself thinking one thing but saying another.

Go into real depth with the key scenes. eg. When Claire told Shane she was pregnant you could have dragged that out WAY more. Comenting on each little detail of the scene whether its about Shane or Claire of the clock on the mantle place ticking makes the reader feel like he/she is right there witnessing it and it is awkward.

Right now thats all the advice i'm giving but I think i'll write you a lemon as an example. It may take me a while but i'll do it and if someone beats me too it oh well i love writing and i might just use it in my own storys.

One ast thing, I have been on since i was 12 and i'm far older now. I know what i'm talking about. You need to step up your game or your story will not be successful.
rebecca chapter 18 . 10/10/2011
plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz write more! who cares if you make mistakes? we all do. this is brilliant plz continue!
lou-lou97 chapter 19 . 8/25/2011
Your story is really good, maybe you should do a scene where Eve is planning a baby shower or something like that or you could add another character in like Claire's cousin that they mention once in the book, Rex, say he wants to catch up with claire and then you could have a fight between him and shane or something like that. Please update soon!
dixieland101 chapter 19 . 7/14/2011
i would love to make a chapter to ur story but im too busy at the min because school starting back up.i love the story so far.
baddy abby chapter 4 . 3/25/2011
deffently add lemons
tanakaL chapter 18 . 3/17/2011
I think you did really well on this story. Not all stories are going to be perfect and if they are going to nickpick at everything then ... oh well. I for one love your story and I think you should continue and don't let them put you down. :) :) :)
tasha rumgay chapter 18 . 3/12/2011
Please keep going I LOVE this story so much

Lol xx
xDarakuxShitaxTenshix chapter 18 . 2/23/2011
I like this story!
The Red Pixie chapter 18 . 2/5/2011
Don't listen to them. I love your story. It's not how the story is set out, its the content of the story. And the content of this story is very good.
Heavenly Penelope chapter 18 . 1/21/2011
not continuing! nooo1! dont think that! this is an amazing story honestly. would love to see more of this too!
Lightbulb Moments chapter 18 . 1/21/2011
hey i love your story. i think you should continue hehe
BehindGlassHouses chapter 16 . 1/20/2011
dont stop the story even if people dont like it ther r people who love this story. ignore the bad reviews , i love this story iknow there r people who love this story to. dont stop as long as you want to write this story write it. as long as you write it i willread this story.
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