|Reviews for Sterile Skies|
| Iridium Wings chapter 1 . 8/6/2011
I absolutely love this story. I know exactly how Balmung feels with the gaming, the wish for wings, and the parents that will never understand.
| seiht chapter 14 . 10/31/2010
You know. . . I was completely dumbfounded when I got the end, and well, I couldn't wrap my mind around what it was. The reason finally nailed me in the head though: it's been a very, very long time since I've read a completed multi-chapter fanfic. Guess I kinda just take for granted that the long stuff will be ditched. *nods head* In that line of thought, you have my regards for completing this lovely little tale.
| seiht chapter 12 . 8/13/2010
Breath and breathe are getting mixed up more often than not.
Oh yikes, I'm definitely with Balmung on the talking food thing. It's disturbing. x.x; It wouldn't make me give up fruit though... stuff's just too good ]
These last few chapters had a nice pattern to them: both split and carried at the same time by first the poems, then the letters. I rather liked it ] The content of those letters and poems was very thought provoking too. . .
Lol, Orca's bringing out the petty ego vengeance in Balmung.
Hmm. The formatting looks a bit cleaner. I take it from the notes someone's been hunting down solutions to the computer troubles? o
So. . . He really is taking steps to moving out. Can't say I blame him; you know it's bad when half strangers know you better than the people you live with. x Same house, different worlds.
At the same time, it's almost funny how similar the family is. They just... don't try. -sigh-
Thanks for posting D
... now to catch up
| seiht chapter 8 . 7/17/2010
Hm, the swallowing description felt just right.
You know... I don't feel any sympathy for the girl.
And Orca displays superior knowledge on matters of fans and love interests. -facedesk-
The World as you write it with even tastes is... well, I hadn't pictured The World as having scent and taste before. Wonder why... I'll have to sleep on that.
I got lost for a minute on the transition between the casual dungeoning and the man to man talk. I'm guessing it was a lethal combination of conflicting information spurts and my lack of information (I only recently realized that games of the .hack series exist ;) Not the gameover. The gameover was a stitch.
Heh. I'm really liking Lios. Not every boss orders you to try your drink ]
I'm up too late here, thoughts are kinda scattered and muggy. If I don't post now though I prolly won't get around to it. Sorry for disconnectedness, but it's prolly there even when I'm more awake now that I think about it... -yawn- Nighty.
Thanks again. ]
| seiht chapter 7 . 7/17/2010
Aww, crash landings make leaf angles.
I got a kick out of the knuckle sandwich. The measures we take to show people we care, heh.
Elegance and eloquence, I suppose they're pretty similar, but eloquence seems more appropriate in this spot. Beats affect and effect. I almost know when to use those. English. . . -shifty eyes-
Ow. Just . . . ow. So Yuki's caught between the father and the son, seeing both sides. Tough spot.
Hmm... I meant to say that the title here should prolly be skies or sky since my dictionary doesn't like skys even though it looks better to my artistic eye. I got sidetracked with the other tangent before though, lol.
Thanks for sharing ]
| seiht chapter 6 . 7/13/2010
You have absolutely lovely writing. You can, and often do, carry a wonderful story.
And every character feels important and memorable. I'm beginning to adore the idea of flight along with Balmung despite never having that fascination in the first place. His relationship with his parents has me seriously reflecting on my own family troubles. Orca's childish demeanor leaves me giggling like a schoolgirl. Lios lends a powerful, stable presence and an interesting perspective.
Hmm... on the name topic, I'm finding the parents' names a bit disorienting since there are already are characters with those names. Yuki, you could probably get away with. Naming someone else Sora isn't a good idea though, despite him being a very different person. That kid has way too much of a role later down the timeline x.x;
It's alright to leave words out so long as you still preserve the meaning. You have a tendency to do that with your sentences, and I feel like I should simply say that it's okay. That's what lends the poetic quality to your writing. Should you choose to go over your works again, the only thing you need to worry about is your spelling and typos. And just so you know, the spelling half has improved phenomenally since your earlier stories.
I'm putting two words here, just so you can familiarize yourself with how they're supposed to look for future reference. Medieval. Cinnamon. Seemed like you were shooting a guess for those two words, so I hope you find that helpful. ]
If nothing else though, I do recommend spell checking your titles. It's really difficult for a reader who remembers the title to find the story if the title doesn't match with the search. I had a very difficult time finding Shards of Regeneration for that very reason, and I can picture someone else having the same problem with this title here. ;
I'll say this again, you have beautiful writing. You really do.
Thanks for sharing ]
| Amelia Lynette Conner chapter 5 . 7/10/2010
Oh Orca... *sigh* :3
Anyways, I found something interesting about Balmung. You PROBABLY already know, but he is quite fond of motor cycles. I just figured it might go along with the story a little. Don't mind me, I'm just used to distributing unused plot bunnies, that will most likely remain unused.
When you were describing the dream sequence, I couldn't help but imagine the pull and use of wings on my own back... I'm not as into it as him, but like most people I seem to aquaint myself with, I rather love the thought of flying without a machine...
| Amelia Lynette Conner chapter 3 . 7/10/2010
...Heavenly... discription... My god your writing's beautiful! *cries*
| Amelia Lynette Conner chapter 2 . 6/29/2010
Hah! The first chapter was really kind of depressing(I 3 angst), but that last part in the second was hilarious! If you get to the timeline, are you going to have him meet Kite's player when visiting Yasuhiko in the hospital and not realize it? I love that
| zvnnaktkive chapter 1 . 6/19/2010
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