|Reviews for Harold James Howlett Mutant Supreme|
| shunshinking chapter 2 . 9/29/2013
Hope you start this story soon.
| Pheonixs1518 chapter 2 . 9/18/2013
eh. I like chapter 1 better . Just thought I'd put my 2 words out their since it is past the 15th and no new chapter hehe.
| Kaito Hatake Uchiha chapter 2 . 9/2/2013
Kaito hungry want to eat
| Seimika chapter 2 . 9/2/2013
..why dont you just make two versions of the story your already making the chapters
| Seimika chapter 1 . 9/2/2013
all i can say is either get a beta with good spelling and maybe one thats also decent with grammar or use spell check alot
| Chosen-One-92 chapter 2 . 8/31/2013
Biggest problems with both chapters and this entire concept:
Harry brushed his white streaked hair from his eyes and looked at his hands then sighed
'Why me, what did I ever do to deserve this curse'
"how could I be so stupid, I knew this would happen, I should have just avoided them all together, I can't believe I did that, what if he's in a coma or worse, that girl, Jean, probably hates me, not that I can blame her, who wouldn't hate me, I'm a monster, I hate myself, I don't even deserve to live, monsters like me don't deserve life, I should just end it now"
Aside from your lack of capitalisation of sentences, and the fact that chapter 2 is 90% copy and paste, you make Harry into what can only be described as an "emo pussy" and completely skip any happenings in the life of the Harry who defeated Apocolypse and the battle itself. All in all I cant decide if Harry is calling himself a monster because you for some reason felt the need to give him a more feral animalistic appearence because of certain mutants or the white stripe in his hair.
Does he call himself a monster because of the whole "anyone touches me goes unconcious" thing? I find his reaction to the Jean and Scott thing dificult to read given that you have him a knife throwing "bad ass" and then run off when he gets acosted by a stranger all of a sudden caring what they think when it likely took him a great deal of time to even slightly trust Xavier, Storm or Logan. I might have more to add after I think on this but while it is a great concept it is poorly executed by the lack of a Beta reader or proof reading on your part. Do you have a Beta reader? I mean, I have to go back to Uni on Sept 21st but I would be ok to read through and edit a little if you want, but of course then it wouldnt be entirely 'your' story.
Please don't think this criticism to be a flame, it's just one readers point of view and I felt given you put time into this you deserved a better response to work with than a one liner of 'this is great' or 'I prefer this version'.
| Darkth Shadow chapter 2 . 8/24/2013
I like the wrong boy who lived version best, hope it wins XD
| FenrirCrinos chapter 2 . 8/23/2013
good idea, i be waiting for more chapters
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/22/2013
| jrock919 chapter 2 . 8/19/2013
I like the first better.
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/16/2013
non wrong boy who lived please.
| heffronma4 chapter 2 . 8/16/2013
Serious Deja Vu here! ( i.e. Chapter one and two are identical )
| heffronma4 chapter 1 . 8/16/2013
Nice chapter here! Reading chapter 2 now!
| geetac chapter 2 . 8/13/2013
This is not the second chapter its the first chapter
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/13/2013