Reviews for Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained
Pirate Thirteen chapter 10 . 11/25/2010
No offense intended, but wow, I was so worried my last chapter was too long. Now I feel like I didn't write diddly squat. Or maybe it's 5am and I've not gone to bed. One of the two.

I like Kolyats interaction with the kid. It was adorable. I very much like how you do the drell perspective, such as "the way the scales on the back of his neck prickled protectively." Also, once again, the memory thing integrated in with everything else. I feel like I don't do that enough myself in my own writing and I'm now trying to think of ways to fix that. Growing, learning process.

I was wondering how you'd include all these extra things that have come up since the games release, and you've integrated Bailey's thing well. The Danner thing and Kolyat's jealousy admittedly feels very randomly put in the middle of things, but at least it serves some plot tool when it comes to Kolyat feeling like everyone is abandoning him.

good job!
Raifa chapter 10 . 11/23/2010
Ohmygod! I want more! Please update...!
Katerina Kintari chapter 9 . 11/22/2010
Okay so here is my late-and-retarded review...

oiusdfjkshfdskjsdjfsd HANAR PJ'S! LOVE

I want PJ's like that. Little pink hanar EVERYWHERE. Even better, BLASTO HANAR Just thinking of Ori in that...ROFLROFLROFL

...I wonder if I could mod Ori's outfit into little pink hanar?

The mind breaks.

You really brought across her loneliness and confusion over Kolyat. It's exactly how I felt when I started to like someone...THAT way...almost stalkery and yet not able to stop myself from...oh...looking to see if he had an IM account... Not that this ever really happened, of course ;)

I love that Ori's dad calls her Sunshine. It's such a fitting nickname.

Mega kudos for the letter from Miranda. She is SO much-older-sistery.

Yes! The Mouse section. Poor Mouse! He totally feels like he's trapped between the immovable object (Kolyat) and the irresistable force (Oriana), doesn't he? Something's gotta give, something's gotta give!

omg

RBE is back

YES! Every time there's an RBE scene I just squeal in happiness! This slightly disconcerts my co-workers...

Caparison.

CAPARISON.

OMG

RBE is SUCH a RB. Bitter, bitter hell.

The C-Sec lady isn't gender-bent Haron again, is it? :D

Hahahahahahahah Kolyat's emails are always so awesome. When I saw that last line from Kolyat, I just went !

Much love, must read next chapter asap!
Bananas chapter 10 . 11/20/2010
OMG update! but now i want moar D: anyway, i like the 'pleez' reference again but i dont like when Kolyat and Ori fight TT awww how sad Cap'n Bailey's leaving D: at least now Kolyat has a chance to make it better between him and Ori :P
MyFix chapter 10 . 11/18/2010
OMG I have so much love for this chapter!

I feel so privileged that I was able to beta for you!

;adh; ;ad

I love this part with Din-Din

So much humour

So much cute!

"Do all drills have jackets like yours?"

"Huh. Uh... Col-yacht, right?"

"Come on, Kiosk! I gotta show you something."

Best quotes in the history of quotes.

I love the bomb reference. That made me giggle XD

Aww! Little Solana

She's sooo adorable!

LOL the random creeper Keeper!

Makes me laugh every time XD

Ori, you so cute

"KK: i can't forget you.

There was a pause.

OR: That would be sweet if it weren't so literal."

ashv;a

They so cute

Hehe, Krista

This part is cute

Ori hiding from Danner

Kolyat's getting so annoyed, haha

Aww, they're having a domestic

It's heart-breaking

But like

It's because Kolyat cares so much that it happened

So it's kinda cool

Kolyat just needs to learn how to deal with those feelings

I think the energy bar must be evil

Oh no :(

Oh no Bailey

Oh no

Oh no Kolyat

No

Noooooooooooooooooooooo

This ending

Is just

Beautiful

Tear-jerking emotion

So sad

Yet

There's still so much hope

Ori is there

Oriana is there for him

Beautiful

Beautiful, beautiful chapter.
TFRiD Queen chapter 10 . 11/18/2010
You're right! Totally forgot about Inquisition until you mentioned it! I love how you play with the themes of leaving, like, now Bailey's leaving, even though it's not his choice.
Siu Jerk Jai chapter 10 . 11/18/2010
I have been trying to catch up on this in bits of time carved out from work and children literally tugging on my pants legs, but the one observation that I really wanted to share is how wonderful it is the way you let Kolyat simply be himself. You made mention in a comment about woobie-ish Shepards, and I think you're so right. And I think it's not confined to Shepards. There's this resistance to creating or appreciating characters who are sullen or stiff or stand-offish in any way, those who are not immediately likeable or funny. You do a lovely job of allowing the reader into the cracks of Kolyat's facade (the duct rats in this chapter were brilliant touches), but the facade exists. It's a part of who he is and it's not likely to fall away to reveal a loveable wise-cracker. To me, that's so much more real and believable and a hell of a lot more interesting.
Fondued Jicama chapter 9 . 11/15/2010
The way Oriana talks to her dad makes me smile. It's really nice to see a father and daughter who get along. That gentle teasing and awkwardness with parents feels real, and there's something incredibly enjoyable about reading it.

"For a split second, she wondered if he understood what it was like to just... cry."

This line, in light of the next chapter: wonderfully placed.

It makes me laugh that the Keepers creep Kolyat out because of their soulless black eyes. XD And his soft heart, even with his pride, that makes him care about the duct rats.

And Danner and the way Kolyat leaps to conclusions like he's leaping on the moon, and how his feet take him to her anyway. And Baileyyyyy. I love that gruff old man something fierce, and I haven't even gotten to that point in the game. XD

The last half of the next chapter has some incredibly gorgeous lines. I liked this one best: "His spirit clung at his scales like a ghost, aimless, anchored by the tightening feeling in his chest."

tl;dr I just adore your scrubby little kids and your teenagers and your middle-aged men and everyone in-between. :D
kiwibliss chapter 10 . 11/15/2010
Kolyat having a softer side is not surprising, but I really enjoyed the way that you laid him bare in this chapter. The beginning, and Kolyat's interaction with the duct rats (who were both adorable and tragic, by the way), was such a great device for showing Kolyat's range of emotion. So often with him it seems like there's surly and unsure, with very little in between. It was wonderful to see him realize that their might be other people in the world who have it as bad, or worse, than he does.

The bar scene highlighted the confusion of emotions that Kolyat is feeling for Oriana; the argument was the perfect culmination. The scene with Bailey, the ending... I would just be repeating myself in talking about how well they served to strengthen Kolyat's development. I love to see characters grow in a story :).
kiwibliss chapter 9 . 11/15/2010
The conversation between Oriana and her father is a great example of "show, don't tell". You can feel the depth of affection between the two through their words and Oriana's reactions. It's a really warm and fuzzy moment of family bonding.

I'm particularly enjoying how everyone assumes that Oriana and Kolyat are a "thing". It's like some goofy romantic comedy; one of the better ones, of course!

I'm curious about what's up with Bailey, and whether or not the RBE will meander his way into the story again; the moving roadblock schtick is kind of endearing.
kiwibliss chapter 8 . 11/14/2010
I forgot to review this chapter... wtf is wrong with me? I can't even begin to cover all of the love I have for this here chapter. The entirety of the scene in Oriana's apartment is brilliantly and painfully awkward and sweet and hilarious. Despite all of his grumping, Kolyat can't stop himself from saying yes to Oriana's requests, can he? It is oh so very clear that there is a chemistry between them, and you have perfectly paced it throughout all 8 chapters of this.

Again, I just love your dialogue. It's completely natural, and it suits each character so very well, from the originals that sometimes make an appearance, to established characters. Nothing about conversations ever rings false or reads as forced in any way. It's enviable, really. Now to catch up on the next two chapters! You are a dear for indulging us all and continuing on with this.
Rapt0rix chapter 10 . 11/14/2010
Hohoho the Truckload of porn! Did he look at it? ;)

Kolyat is a lizard man! Of course he eats rats!

Who would Kolyat pawn the kid off to? There are no batarians on the Citadel! Unless there are slaver contacts hiding around somewhere...

Chuff count: 1

BOMB TRICK HEEHEE! I wonder if that joke spread among the duct rats like wildfire?

So Garrus' sister is a duct rat now? D:

WOW GARRUS' SISTER IS A CREEPER STALKER!

LOL Oriana and always misinterperting what Kolyat says, ahah!

"Friends, what are those? Silly human words! I don't like them!"

Yuuuuuus Kolyat succumb to the taint of SOCIAL SKILLS!

Baw, poor Kolly all fretting that Oriana forgot him, since humans have that ability! D:

Chuff count: 2

Oh boy ~drama~! Fictional relationships are never as entertaining if they're all sunshine and bunnies. :O

That's it Kolyat! CHEW THE HELL OUT OF THAT ENERGY BAR!

D'awww, Bailey is a father figure to Kolyat and he won't admit to it~

lol wow that is some hardcore chewing if he's making his own gums bleed. :O

HUZZAH! KOLYAT HAS REALIZED HE IS A SELFISH BASTARD! *throws confetti*

Chuff count: 3

Poor Kolyat and his severe separation anxiety! I bet under his chuffing surlyness, he probably wants to keep all the people in his life close to him! 3

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw ;A; finally Kolyat runs to Oriana to cry in her bosom~
Hannibal3125 chapter 10 . 11/14/2010
Very interesting story. Will be interested to see where it goes from here.

BTW, you don't like elcor, do you?
Convictski chapter 10 . 11/14/2010
I do like these slow-burn sort of romances, but I can't help feel a bit of a tingle when something major happens.

For two characters I mostly ignored (well, they turn up once in their respective family's mission, so it's not that hard) you have fleshed into people I really like. Oriana's 'alien' eyes is a retrospectively obvious move, and fits great.
ZaeraDourden chapter 10 . 11/13/2010
I love how Kolyat justifies leaving when he goes to meet Oriana. You do a really good job of his though process.

The ending: Aawww! Poor guy! He really needs a hug.
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