|Reviews for Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Realms of Iniquity|
| Ralmon chapter 16 . 9/18
Overall, this is alright. It is good enough to read and a passable entertainment.
The best part of the story would be the plot. It is unique for a PMD story and there are some exciting moments. However, it lacks some cohesion. Many parts of the plot doesn't go well with the other parts that results to rather cumbersome results. For example, Grovyle losing-his-memory-and-skills part clashes with the guarding-a-powerful-artifac part. The two clashing together makes Grovyle apear so inept and lame as the demand for a strong competend guardian of one part clashes with the forceful degradation of abilites by the other. This also results for rather clunky developments as the incompetent Grovyle must rely on deux ex machina to save himself and do his job.
The characters are rather weak. They don't have any traits that makes them memorable and they can be difficulat to relate to. The most memorable to me is probably Grovyle, but not because he is good, but because of the whole cast he has the most potential, but is ultimately wasted in this story. What could have been interesting just becomes cumbersome and forced.
This story has unique and interesting ideas that doesn't work well with each other and results to a story that is incoherrent and strained filled with characters that are conglomerate of various ideas that results to forced developments and makes them difficult to relate to. The story ultimately buckled under the weight of handling too many things at once and failing to gather these disjointed ideas to form a coherent whole.
| Flygon chapter 1 . 1/7
He thinks a few months is overkill. He's feeling better and ready already. Obviously Grovyle won't think that so he doesn't expect things to happen too soon. He just thinks it will be a bit more boring without Grovyle.
| ExODUSKiNG chapter 16 . 11/24/2015
Well I just finished my second most favorite Pokémon fanfic ever... and of PMD also. Truly, truly amazing. The whole reason why PMD is better than the main game is because of the story telling, oh and you good sir only strengthened that pleasure.
| yiranY chapter 16 . 11/11/2015
Okay, the ending is really good. I liked the closure and the simple description, leaving the reader to read for themselves. All in all 9/10 not enough Charizard waifus.
| yiranY chapter 15 . 11/11/2015
Okay, it wasn't that bad. I just had too high expectations. The Pidgeot cavalry arriving in the nick of time bothered me slightly, as is the fact that Mismagius's psychic just so happened to run out, but the rest of, such as the exploration of morality of bringing one back to life, was well written and conveyed through different characters.
| yiranY chapter 14 . 11/11/2015
Yeah… no. There was foreshadowing, but it was very brief, and made no sense at all, where you try to justify it next chapter with it somehow being a fraud. I thought more would happen before it came down to this, but it just skipped all the way ahead. Add a bunch of unknown bodies for shock factor.
| yiranY chapter 13 . 11/11/2015
Hmm, so you did have a change in perspective. But you also lapsed into omniscient again, what with the "second body"and "last time they set foot", but that's for storytelling drama I suppose. I find it interesting that they go to school and need to find jobs… as you can see from my story, I never envisioned Pokémon functioning remotely like human society.
I do wish the exposition on Zero and Dexter were slightly earlier, though. Since I know what is going to happen, it's like… you give people some introduction then kill them off for shock factor. Earlier introductions will make the reader more familiar with the character and give less of a feeling that you started talking more about this character to kill them.
| yiranY chapter 12 . 11/11/2015
"He didn't know ay of the other members well enough" ayy lmao
Otherwise, great! The narration and dialogue was really on point, as is the plot.
| yiranY chapter 11 . 11/11/2015
Smooth storytelling, if a bit ordinary. Anyway, by this point it is 200% clear that Grovyle is the protagonist and not Aurealis, so you really should make the early chapters Grovyle-focused.
| yiranY chapter 10 . 11/11/2015
Oh wow, this is very nicely exposited with good foreshadowing. And follows on pretty nicely as well. 8/10, not enough dead people.
| yiranY chapter 9 . 11/11/2015
Interesting progression of plot about the forest. The character interaction seems intentionally thought out so that's good. And the disregard for library rules was a nice symptom of amnesia.
| yiranY chapter 8 . 11/11/2015
Hmm, so Lucario's weird personality might be a plot point. Ah well. Grovyle guessing at Lucario's thoughts really doesn't fit with the narrator having been into Lucario's mind before. I suggest you go back and edit the perspective exclusively into Grovyle.
| yiranY chapter 7 . 11/11/2015
Nothing much, but why do Grovyle and Lucario always get called in by Mismagius and no one else? It must be because they are the main characters!
| yiranY chapter 6 . 11/11/2015
I forgot to comment on it, but at the end of the last chapter, "a pair of red eyes was constantly watching." Grammar error aside, this is another part of the break-perspective things that is rather inconsistent.
"Tremolo Cave" do the Pokémon who named this place study music theory?
Lucario is a really strange character. He was shy/blunt and now add a slash and he is playful, pushing Grovyle into Wurmples. Isn't he supposed to be serious?
"quite furious but evidently appalled" I'm not sure these two are different enough to require a but.
Formatting strangeness for italics at the end again.
Anyways, the Taillow was good. If a bit too vague for someone who is about to die. Again, generating just enough information for suspense but not revealing it. But I suppose stories have to do that to maintain reader interest.
| yiranY chapter 5 . 11/11/2015
Dreams tend to end when someone tells you to wake up, are kind of a cheap way to add tension that is explained by "ooh dreams" but everyone uses it, so…
You have a formatting error at the description of the Taillow mission, where it's suppsoed to be in italics but you have random "i"s lying around.
Why do team members have names but not Manectric or Mismagius? Spooky illuminati.