|Reviews for Just Like a Shooting Star|
| MangaPearlShipper1 chapter 1 . 12/5/2010
Dawn/Platinum technically is Red in female since in the manga,they both have the same dream,they both have the same personality,and the both represent the color red. P.S. I own MangaPearlShipping.
| RedXSamusSupporter1 chapter 1 . 10/25/2010
Cute,but...isn't Ness a little too short for Dawn?Red and Dawn\Platinum sounds like a good couple the Pokemon Adventures Manga I call it idea,no one steals it.
| Hasuko chapter 1 . 6/12/2010
Here's to me being lazy! 8D (Sorry, I guess I can't produce another review for the same story. Kinda used all my juices writing it the first time. ;)
You fret too much, dear sister. First of all, these characters don't have definite personalities, so I guess you can get away with them. ; I don't think Ness was cynical. I mean, I don't think anyone likes having their personal space invaded. Ness isn't as childish as he looks either, I suppose. It's right of you to write him as a regular boy than some naive, shota bumpkin. That's Lucas' job. Naw, naw. (Wait... I'm not reviewing shota-con fic. ;) And as for Dawn, well, you gotta love your yaoi fangirls. XD Can I take a stab and say she was inspired by yourself? Not saying she's a self-insert because I know you don't want Ness that way. That's why you have your other boiz. XD
And yah, I'm glad the romance wasn't written in the way that it was perfect and sappy. That, no, Ness didn't feel something between them when they first met. Just like how Dawn explained it. And I liked the way it ended, in a lighthearted manner. That's what I get from the whole fic, so it's only natural it ends that way.
| Foxpilot chapter 1 . 6/12/2010
Huh, so I'm not alone in this contest, am I? Good! You got your story out before me, though, so congrats on that. Anyway, you story.
This was definitely not what one expects in the Smash Bros. section. Here, you expect Ness to be paired with Lucas or Nana or something. Instead, you brought out Dawn from a tangent game to Red's origin and said "here ya go! Enjoy!" I definitely sensed a lot of you in here, from Dawn's personality to Ness' preferred games. This is, of course, going on that you like Professor Layton and Fire Emblem. Still, it wasn't bad overall. It could have used a few more commas here and there, but the story made sense most of the time and I got what they were saying. Though yes, your influence was obvious.
Good luck in the contest!
| Souldin chapter 1 . 6/12/2010
A lengthy mostly musing insight into a well structured romance. I've always been a fan of character insights and I seemed to like the idea of a NessxDawn fanfic when I saw you mention it your entry fanfic for Pikana's contest and what do you know, I liked it.
The style is that of an insight fanfic as its mostly following the thoughts of Ness with the occasional weaving of talking moments. The musing style is best done when there is little planned character interaction and while there are some discrupincies with the flow it mostly blends well together. The character of Dawn is intersting but I felt could have been explored more as well as the comedy, also a great treat which makes me wish for more of it. I highly praise the romance as though I hate the very idea of a fated love its all done at a smooth casual pace with very little rushing and some lovely, charming developments which makes the romance blossom.
Problem wise would be the mix of musing and talking with too little detail being used when the fic steps out of the solitude of Ness's inner mind and out into the setting, as well as too little description being used to describe the appearence of characters or surroundings. Considering it's a romance there is a surprising lack of description concerning Dawn but then again the romance is not all that concerned with looks.
All in all I liked the pairing and the style of writing, with the fic itself containing many fine things which were unfortunately not taken advantage of as much as they could have been. Great job, keep up the good work!