Reviews for How many Hufflepuffs ...
Harry Potter chapter 1 . 9/30/2015
how many crookshanks does it take up to light up a wand? None- How can a cat use a wand?
Hebi R chapter 7 . 11/29/2014
How many Ravenclaws does it take to light a wand?
It will never get lit; they'll get so absorbed researching lighting spells that they'll forget why they started in the first place.
Leaving and Left chapter 12 . 3/6/2014
How many James Potters does it take to light a wand?
We really don't know. All we see him do is drool over Liky Evans. Someone needs to light a wand up there...
PseudonymousPersona chapter 12 . 8/20/2013

How many Gryffindors does it... LUMOS
Oh no sorry, Hermione already did it...

How many Hufflepuffs (by the way the best house) does it take to light a wand?
One, but nobody cares anyway...
Guest chapter 12 . 7/15/2013
How many Slytherins does it take to light a wand?

Just one, because- What's that? Oh... Yes, yes, I see... Right. Well. Professor Dumbledore would like me to inform you that, in fact it was a Gryffindor who lit the wand ("A Slytherin? Now where'd you get that idea from?") and because of that feat of enormous bravery he will now award Gryffindor 150 points, allowing them to win the House Cup. What did you say, Professor? Oh, of course! He would also like me to tell you, "Favoritism? What favoritism?"
Guest chapter 9 . 7/15/2013
How many Gryffindors does it take to light a wand?

Just one; three guesses who's the only one smart enough to do so
Guest chapter 9 . 7/15/2013
How many Ravenclaws does it take to light a wand?

A wand? A WAND?! You think Ravenclaws still use WANDS? They got our wands THREE WHOLE WEEKS AGO, thank you very much, they've mastered wandless magic by now! Anyway, why use Lumos when you can create an improved Deluminator?
BlacknPotty chapter 11 . 8/19/2012
Funny most of these turned into insulting a Slytherin (Crystal) or just saying how awesome we are (Kelso)! GO GO GRYFFINDOR!

SiriuslyPotty...about this 'story'. :)
BlacknPotty chapter 9 . 8/19/2012
Almighty Spork rules! I nearly wet myself.

Loving this. Oh, Slytherins. You not-so-scary bunch.
BlacknPotty chapter 2 . 8/19/2012
How many Gryffindors does it take to light up a wand?
-Three to do the lighting and a whole house of them to applaud wildly when they win the House Cup for it, snatching it out of the grasp of the Slytherins who won it fair and square in the first place.

Hahahaha. Although, it was four Gryffindors. Everyone always forgets Neville. GRYFFINDOR. [Don't hate me! I'm as a proud a Gryffindor as you are a Slytherin!]
yoneld chapter 5 . 6/25/2012

To Asmodeus1389 about your OotP wandlighting joke, I identify all of them:

One to hex everything in sight - Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody.

One to change what she looks like and knock something over simultaneously - Nymphadora Lupin née Tonks

One to be locked inside the house - Sirius Black

One to go crazy about a sparkplug - Arthur Weasley

One to turn into a wolf - Remus Lupin

One to yell at Fred and George - Molly Weasley née Prewett

One to sneer at Harry - Severus Snape

One to be a secret-keeper - Albus Dumbledore

One to mislead the search for a mass-murderer - Kingsley Shacklebolt

One to steal a bunch of frogs, cauldrons, or anything else not bolted to the floor - Mundungus "Dung" Fletcher

And one to insist that she can actually see dementors - Arabella Figg. Can I haz fifteen points? *puppy dog eyes*
yoneld chapter 4 . 6/25/2012
How do the WeasleysHarry/Hermione/Fleur light a wand?

Ginny: Fawns over Harry

Hermione: Annoys Ron with the correct pronunciation: "It's LOO-moss, not loo-MOSE!"

Ron: Is annoyed with Hermione and tells her to do it herself if she's so clever

Twins: Replace the wand with a fake one which whacks Percy on the back of the head

Percy: Yells at the twins and disowns them for their trick

Charlie: Makes a dragon light it (on fire!)

Bill: Kisses Fleur

Fleur: "Why does 'e need to light a wand when my 'air and my smile are bright enough to light ze 'ole world?"

Molly: Bellows at the whole lot of them

Arthur: Tries not to be amused and fails miserably, causing Molly to slap him hard

Harry: Lights the stupid wand!
yoneld chapter 10 . 2/9/2012
How many demigods does it take to light a wand?

~A child of Zeus (Thalia/Jason) would shock it into lighting up.

~A child of Hera - (HERA: HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SUCH INFIDELITY!) Sorry Lady Hera!

~A child of Poseidon (Percy) would try to light it by taking Thalia/Jason's electric shock and put it through water.

~A child of Demeter (Katie Gardner) would make the would light up.

~A child of Ares (Clarisse) would beat it into a pulp.

~A child of Athena (Annabeth) would lecture Percy about some quantum physics explanation for magic.

~A child of Apollo (Will Solace) would try to call upon the sun so that it will give the wand light.

~A child of Artemis (ARTEMIS: ME? TOUCHING A MALE? EWWWWW!) Sorry Lady Artemis!

~A child of Hephaestus (Leo) would make a self-lighting wand.

~A child of Aphrodite (Piper) would charmspeak the wand into lighting up.

~A child of Hermes (Luke) would complain to the wand how the gods don't care about him and then he'll give it to Kronos to see what he can do with it.

~A child of Dionysus (Pollux) would strangle the wand with grapevines until it lights up.
yoneld chapter 12 . 2/5/2012
How many Bellatrix Lestranges does it take to light a wand?


How many Bellatrix Lestranges does it take to light a wand?



~BELLATRIX: Oops! Sorry wrong spell. Nevermind...

How many Bellatrix Lestranges does it take to light a wand?

~ME: One to torture you, one to fawn over voldemort...

~BELLATRIX: (takes out her wand)

~ME: Sorry I meant the dark lord!

~(several violent thumps)

~ME: Okay, Bellatrix, the Dark Lord!

~(more violent thumps)

~ME: You want me to all-caps it?

~(more violent thumps)

~ME: Okay, okay! THE DARK LORD!

~(more violent thumps and a scream)



~ME: I all-capsed it! anyways, what was the joke? Oh right:

~Q: How many Bellatrix Lestranges does it take to light a wand?

~A: Four. one to torture you, one to fawn over THE DARK LORD, one to torture neville's parents to insanity, and one to say lumos and do it.
Sleeping Kangaroo chapter 12 . 7/26/2011
How many Mary-Sues does it take to light up a wand?

Me: MARY-SUE? WHERE? I thought I'd exterminated them all...-grumbles incoherently-

Personally, I think my joke sucks. But, that might be just me.
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