Reviews for Rebuild of Fairly English Story
Lady Cheeky chapter 1 . 9/7/2011
Dude I just read the story bashin ur fic. If u read it, don't let that jerk get 2 u. Personally I'm just leaving this review bcuz I thought u should know. I haven't read ur fic yt but I will...2morrow! :D I start skool 2morrow so I need my beauty sleep tonite XD: but if u haven't read it, u should check it out. It's called destructive criticism. I 4got the name but it had saffire in it. But seriously don't let that jerk bring u down. I haven't read ur fic but I bet it's good. I'm judging on the amount of reviews btw. Ne who even if the fic is not 4 me keep on writing 4 he ppl who no doubtedly luv ur story!
S.S.S.Star chapter 18 . 5/27/2011
Sonic, Shadow, and their soundtrack is the absolute $#!.


I am all, I am all of me...
Swekyde chapter 31 . 4/18/2011
Like a sack of bricks, that last reference finally hit me.

Then again, I hadn't heard of that series until after my second time reading through this.
Karg42 chapter 37 . 3/26/2011
Crazy awesome story is crazy awesome. Minato is a giant dick but is still cool anyways. Need to go read Version 1 now, even if it is less Crazy Awesome and more Crazy Fun.
Beka chapter 3 . 3/17/2011
this has 2 b the best P3 fic ever! i always thoght that Minato deserved 2 b way more badass and awesome. his narrative style is awesome, and very funny as well. i read the original FES fic, but this version is way better! max respect 2 u SamJaz-sama!
Ganheim chapter 24 . 3/12/2011
Chapter 21

Convincing people to my point of view was easy for me.

[“These are not the droids you’re looking for”]

"Yume no tsuzuki, Oikakete ita hazu na no ni…

[Look, it’s a songfic. Because copy-pasting from a lyric site apparently has intrinsic value over just mentioning a song we’re not extremely likely familiar with anyway…]

Do anything with enough confidence and no one will question your authority to do so.

[I remember a news clipping about a man in Prussia waltzing into a bank wearing an officer’s uniform, simply telling the bank to give him money, and walking out. Nobody checked that he was a con]

name on the clubs


"Nah, but they do put themselves through training from hell." Hey, Tartarus is Greek for Hell. Most people think its Hades, but that's just the person in charge of it. Common misconception.

[It refers to both, much like human names could refer to either a place or a person (the first name coming to mind is Wellington, also named Arthur Wellesley)]

"Musashi managed to fight with an injured leg,

[Lots of people had to fight with injuries, it involves ‘making a mistake’ and ‘trying to live through it’. Honestly, I think his school and the fact that he was one of the last in the age of samurai did the most for his fame, when I think of samurai that were “knee deep in the thick of it” I think of Honda Tadakatsu or Sanada Yukimura]

Chapter 22

"What battle strategies?" Pharos asked. "You tell everyone else to attack whatever you're not."

Shut up Pharos.

[Points 1]

and a trust ol' axe


what choice did I have.


Chapter 23

Let's call him… Shu."

"It's Kenji isn't it?" I asked him.



are playing soccer there!" FOOTBALL! IT'S FOOTBALL! DAMMIT AMERICA!

[Strange place to be ranting about one of the more piddly dialectical differences between American and British English. I think the punctuation issue is a greater problem, though I work in editing a lot and can’t remember how much a concern it is for non-writers/linguists. I could also point out that Britain and its linguistic elite have made at least as many strange changes, such as altering the element name Aluminum (1812, Humphry Davy) to Aluminium later that year to better fit popular conventions of the time despite there being no difficulty with the etymology or pronounciation. Language is an organic thing and by virtue of being a tool used by humans will inevitably changed based on how its users see fit]

Why do they call it tag anyways? Tig is a much better name

[Also easier to twist into other things when you’re speaking rapidly, leading to much unintentional laughter]

Wait, was that the right decision?


Too late…

[Oh no, the TV screen is broken! Wait, wrong game]

Congratulations, you are now officially a two timing scumbag

[Strange thing is, there’s no way around this in P3 as the ONLY route in S-links is ‘intimate’. I like how they added the friendship option in P4, especially for ones that are rather dislikable. Strange how this more realistic take wasn’t noted here]

"Well, keep them to yourself until Friday, okay?"

[I don’t get it, why would Yukari want him to keep quiet on his own investigation?]

Chapter 24

"Yep. Quiet!" Lad A laughed.

[I’m not sure about the ‘quiet’ bit]

presumably to hospital, since I think I broke his jaw.

He got off lucky. I was prepared to spill blood.

[Kinda funny, but less than it could’ve with Minato having been thoroughly trumped]
Ganheim chapter 20 . 3/12/2011
Chapter 16

I drew my Evoker and pulled the trigger. BURN

I charged and plunged my fist into another Shadow. CRUSH

[This is starting to look like game regurgitation – that or exceedingly corny format gags with all-caps]

What's it weakness


I pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

"You've run out of Spiritual Power!"

[“I was too tired to summon a persona” would’ve sounded a little more true to a realistic portrayal. “you’re out of SP” sounds like game regurgitation]

Chapter 17

Minato-chan!" If I was Japanese, I'd probably be annoyed at that.

[Given the age difference, it’s practically to be expected. It would be like a retired professor calling a high schooler “kiddo” or some such]

"Now, you have

[Extraneous comma]

Surprise and Contempt flashed

[Why is “contempt” capitalized?]

Chapter 18


I nearly soiled myself.

That would ruin the game

[This was kind of funny]

lesson from you

[lesson _for_ you?]

I see no, hear no evil

Black writings on the wall

[This looks like fragmentary songfic, and I hope it’s not a frequent appearance]

Chapter 19

she could still spin around and slap the guy.

Oh, right. Androphobia.

[I think the problem is a little more wide-spread across her psyche than a single fear, particularly if she’s allowing such a situation]

when I saw the actually start

[Missing word. Maybe ‘sicko’ as is used later?]

I jumped up, grabbed the luggage bars, swung and landed on his shoulders, driving him to the ground

[As crowded as the train was?]

"School leaving age is sixteen back in England." I answered, reaching for nachos. "Then there are two optional years we call College, then University." I leaned forward. "I did September to February of college, then dropped out to come over here." I picked up the plate and offered some to Mitsuru. "Fair enough, the difficulty level over here is higher, but I still get bragging rights."

[Interesting thing to hear. I didn’t know the two years were optional for students planning on taking uni]

You know, a lesser man would have commented on how suggestive her phrasing was, but I'm... wait.

[Points 1]

Chapter 20

he shrugged


Orange Sunlight


Apparently I made created

[I created?]

has just got back from

[just returned from?]
Enigma infinite chapter 1 . 3/4/2011
Wow. This is really good!
Hakuro Integra chapter 36 . 12/27/2010

Ah, I just LOVE badass, charmed, superpowerful Minato!
saphren chapter 37 . 12/20/2010
this story is awesome~! i like how Pharos is always there rather than just appearing every now and then~ sad that it will be a few years before you update though... oh well.. Minato's personality is pure badass~!
AJ Katon chapter 37 . 12/18/2010
This was an awesome chapter. I honestly wasn't expecting this to go down like that and it was an excellent surprise. Can't wait for the next update.
Hakuro Integra chapter 3 . 12/14/2010
His judgement of Ikutsuki made me laugh for 2 minutes straight.

This is brilliant!
Guile chapter 37 . 12/8/2010
That's a real shame, about you not getting to post until 2013. This has been a pleasure to read.

Your Minato is a straight-up badass.
Astrih Konnash chapter 37 . 12/4/2010
Take your time - A fic this good deserves my patience (which I have a lot!) if it means next chapters will be awesome

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Patcheresu chapter 37 . 11/30/2010
Spread the glory of your symbol, you blessed missionary!
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