|Reviews for Rebuild of Fairly English Story|
| 300 I.Q. Prower chapter 7 . 2/18
And with that ironic ending, in game Junpei is the main man when it comes to offense. Once again you make better sense of things, mainly Minato's complaint with ikutstki and pointing out its just a "sorry not-sorry" routine, as well as bringing up how in the hell Junpei is gonna manage to survive.
| 300 I.Q. Prower chapter 6 . 2/18
So we get early characterization on Minato awakening at a young age? F YES!
Also please tell me this chapter gave Junpei and Minato a reason to actually bond in some way. For "Best friends" in the game they rarely hang out.
| 300 I.Q. Prower chapter 5 . 2/18
Brock joke with junpei's survival, reading this side by side to the original really highlights the differences and makes it actually almost feel totally different, just because of how many minor changes there are.
| 300 I.Q. Prower chapter 4 . 2/17
Justification of the short sword expertise and him convo ing like its light as air in his criticals.
| 300 I.Q. Prower chapter 3 . 2/17
I'm going to be reading this side by side with the original, since each spoils the other. i already love how you've taken the seemingly near emotionless minato (which yes I am aware is in game also justified by him being scarred for life) and elaborated his character. I especially love how he's a brawler, that's what I felt was missing from the actual game. Also the "punks" in the game are nothing but big talking bullies. Just like the "punks" in this chapter, no one uses even knives. It's just threats, even when it's established its supposed to be the "bad side of town." I hate to keep ranting on this but the perfect exanple is when Shinji beats up a couple bullies.
despite having very dark tones the game isn't that dark when it comes to several minor things like that. Making Minato a brawler is a stroke of genius, it makes it much more believable that he can fight along side a boxer, an archer, and a fencer and even surpass them. Even Junpei has justification of being able to fight, he uses his weapon like a baseball bat. Minato however in-game is just thrown in and still decimates, despite looking relatively frail compared to his teammates.
I also love the foreshadow humor in this chapter.
| illuminio chapter 37 . 2/3/2015
Well, NOW it gets interesting. Mixing different Persona-characters and Hollow Arcana (I am not looking at you P4!) makes quite a good combination. If all of it will get more significance down the line, then your job as a fanfiction writer can be considered well done. It will be such a waste if this side-lines will stay just as one-time cameo with a sole purpose of another show-of of your SI's ideal skills - this time in reconnaissance and information gathering.
PS Yes the amount of Perfect!Skillz MC wields still leaves me baffled. People can be Perfect in some areas and Good in others - and totally suck in the rest - but this "Minato" doesn't know such a thing as middle ground, right? Which makes it so much harder to believe in him.
| illuminio chapter 21 . 2/1/2015
This. This chapter. It is even worse than the chapter, where arrogant schoolboy gives a professional businessman tips for the man's line of work. Most of those tips had consisted of information about the personal life of several CO of powerful corporations and other inside information, which _always_ remains behind closed doors, by the way. And if that chapter was funny in "you-make-your-SI-look-like-an-idiot-and make-yourself-look-even-worse" way, this one takes a huge leap in common sense.
I mean, I unerstand, I really do. You say that your MC is OC to hide the fact that he really is a SI, give him tragic past and start to write about all the things you wanted to do your whole life, but couldn't, because you lack courage (confidence, health, brains etc.). And generally have fun. It really is understandable: is full of wanking stories written by misunderstood teenagers (at least I prefer to think so, it's hard to accept that lots of those authors are considered to be adults by judicial system). So I don't blame you for releasing your pent-up frustration with life - or just venting of your overblown ego. It's really not my place to decide the nature of your insecurities (especially if it was the state of your mind ages ago, so you've - hopefully - successfully grown out of it).
But why, why rape Minato Arisato's character - tear apart, devour and wear skin, more like - and pretend that there is some semblamce of similarity? Could you not go to Naruto fandom instead? O_o
PSI hope that this expressive review take you in good health. Even if I dont like the Sue-ness, I still appreciate the writing style and flow of the story... even if most of it is shamelessly stolen from canon with close to none major difference so far. I'll wait and see, I guess ;-)
| Galeiam chapter 20 . 4/23/2014
Huh...just now thinking about it but...Is the Amos surename something u randomly picked or what? cause My family is based in england.
| Bob chapter 37 . 6/20/2013
So, the original Fairly English Story was written from Minatos' narration,and that the rebuild is written from Minato's narration?
Also,this version really makes the sue-ness more obvious(almost painfully) for me, I don't know if that's because I'm older from when I read F.E.S. and I was too swallowed up by the awesome to pay attention to the faults.
That being said, you should've made it more obvious that Orpheus and Cadenza made Minato a god of stringed instruments and singing,(pianos got strings on the inside)
| Duncan0Idaho chapter 5 . 6/5/2013
I think you should do a full rebuild of your fanfic, minato got a tad bit less likeable after chapter 50ish took a level in jerkass i would say
| Guest chapter 20 . 5/18/2013
Wait... Auntie Anne and Uncle Amos? Like... the pretzel place and Famous Amos cookies?
| Patriotic Jaguar chapter 23 . 2/13/2013
heh...i don't know if some people ever get the message. they don't quite match up, true, but i think they each have their merits. great work, as always, man
| Patriotic Jaguar chapter 14 . 2/13/2013
awesome rewrite so far, man. i seem to notice a few minor errors (spelling, grammar, etc) but, all in all, very well done. Definitely better than the original, though there wasn't much wrong with it to begin with. Call me a purist, but I tend to prefer originals to remakes (whether we're talking video games, books, or whatever)
| Korora12 chapter 37 . 1/11/2013
I like where this is going, though I wonder just how much will change. I hope you keep writing this, even as you write the sequel. It's nice to see Minatos show up early.
Now, I don't want to tell you how to write your story, but if you want to include another Devil Survivor reference in, you can make Minato a fan of D-Va (Haru's band). I've been playing Devil Survivor recently, and Haru's probably my favorite character.
Anyway, can't wait for an update! Keep up the awesome!
| Nero200 chapter 37 . 7/13/2012
Just read through all of, this, and i am loving it! You've done an awesome job of blending the gameplay elements in with the story telling, and i really like the MC's character, I wish you the best of luck with your missions, and hope you return soon to continue!