|Reviews for Delayed Gratification|
| jk chapter 1 . 11/5
wow that got weird right?
after all the shit he was sprouting in class I wanted bella to turn around to him at the door, look him in the eyes and say "well I'm gonna go home now, to bad you wont be CUMMING with me, I have no desire to fuck easy whores"...then walk away
cause that's how he came off! like a total whore and soooooo easy. Didn't he come off as a player? yuppers
| ClassicsRetold1987 chapter 1 . 6/15/2014
Wow, that was hot. Some excellent erotica.
| That'sMzPeachesTYVM chapter 1 . 10/15/2012
I donno... He seemed pretty high on it all to me!
| BriseisRose chapter 1 . 4/19/2011
You should seriously continue this. It'd be so interesting to read. I'd really love to see how your Edward and Bella continue their relationship after she's changed. I'm sure it'll be a hit, I mean you got 27 reviews just for one chapter! That's awesome!
You're very good at writing and I love that you put so much detail in that we could follow Edward's thoughts. And is that little hypnotizing thing a new vampire power you put in? It's cool. Can all vampires do it, and can they do it to other vampires or only humans?
I truly hope you decide to continue this. Even though others have done the Edward-changes-Bella-first-day story, you made it unique. I'm so glad I clicked your story. Hope to hear from you soon. XOXO
| city bookworm chapter 1 . 3/5/2011
Oh what a dirty mind you have! I love it Edward is not a prude in your story for d*** sure. I love that Alice stopped him and made him take her to the Cullens. Much better setting. I also loved that it was Rose that stopped him from actually draining Bella. The last part where Ed while Rose had him by the hair, but still HAD to finish was priceless. As were Rose's remarks. I wish there was more.
| Mellylicious chapter 1 . 11/4/2010
Well that was awesome :) n i gotta say that if i was Bella this is so how i would wanna go ;)!
| marsbareater12 chapter 1 . 8/22/2010
Nice :) Really, really nice!
| S.ocd.H chapter 1 . 8/15/2010
mmm...i like...yes. i like a lot.
| Adrian Dexter chapter 1 . 7/4/2010
This Edward kind of freaks me out.
| Valentine's.day.Ghost chapter 1 . 7/1/2010
Like the way he thinks..not mourning on things...on how her life is precious and all...
ABSOLUTELLY LOVE ANNE RICE
| FunmbiE chapter 1 . 6/27/2010
First, CONGRATS on TWBB! I love have you've literally RE-VAMPED canon...is fantastic! TO me, the very best writing not only draw you in but forces you to ask questions, and that's totally what you've done here! I want so much more!
I'm not entirely sure how I fell about Edward...at first he scares the hell out of me. But then watching him realize he wants Bella forever is lovely! But by the ending I don't know whether I hate him for taking B or love him for converting her. *SIGH* I've taken notes while reading, please allow me to share!
1. "It would be like tantric sex, but with blood - lots and lots of blood. Slowly sipped, savored, yes, and if they came for me, if my family saw, if Alice was looking, well, I could gorge myself then."-OH MY WOW! This imagery is incredible!
2. "I wondered if Miss Isabella Call-Me-Bella Swan would like to have sex with me before I slowly drain her of blood?"-MERCY, this is quite the question!
3. "You're so beautiful, Bella," I said, comfortable in my level of forwardness, given the fact that she was utterly dazed. I continued to breathe on her in small amounts. "I bet you're a virgin, aren't you, love?" I asked softly.-WAIT! Has E hypnotized B? Why in the world would she answer such a brazen question from a stranger? With that said..."Love" is my FAVE term of endearment that E uses for B!
4. I kept breathing on her"-So his breath stuns her...
5. "Do you feel that, love? Do you feel how hard my cock is, just for you? Only for you?"-OH MY DAYUM! I've just gotten light-headed
6. "I realized that as much as I did want the grand finale of two quarts of her blood, I also really, really wanted her to want me. "-Why?
7. "I'm Alice! I'm Edward's sister, and I am here to keep him out of trouble."-Thank the LORD for Alice!
8. "I know she smells good, I get it, I really do, but I've got news for you. If you go to her house, have sex with her, then kill her, we're not going to be able to cover it up well enough."-BAM! Alice shuts that shit down REAL quick
9. "And it won't matter to you by then, because you'll be mostly catatonic with brief episodes of suicidal ideation. She's your mate, you idiot. You really want to kill your mate?"-TWO COMMENTS: 1. I ADORE YOUR ALICE! Hahahhaha "suicidal ideation"... 2. Awww, B is E's mate!
10. "And if you can't stop in time, we'll help you. And we'll set up an accident with her truck. Emmett and Jasper are driving to Port Angeles to get a suitable body from the morgue, even now."-Umm, HOLD ON! Alice is supposed to be the voice of reason! E MUST NOT drain B!
11. "You'll still get to have sex, you'll still get to drink pint after pint of her blood, her lovely, lovely blood. You'll just have to leave her a little bit to make the change."-Oh, well, I guess this is OK...
12. WAIT! So they'll change B, fake her death, and move to Denali? And where's DADDY C? And B isn't going to resent being changed?
13. "It started out as the seduction of a particularly fine meal, but now I didn't know what it was. I felt like I was the one seduced."-Hmm, I wonder what B is thinking this entire time?
14. "moved my left hand down the back of her thigh and guided it up and around my thigh."-LEGHITCH FTW!
15. "I didn't think I was anything physically spectacular, but I was glad she found me acceptable. That acceptance was worth much more than I would have anticipated."-Awww, Edward...
16. "You can do whatever you want. Don't have to ask."-WOW...is he clouded by lust only, or is he starting to want MORE from B...like emotionally
17. "I pulled myself up to a nearly sitting position, and then her hands were in my hair, her hips grinding against my renewed erection and my lips were splayed about her nipples, licking and suckling to the soundtrack of her soft cries."-Sweet Jesus...this is SO JUICY DELICIOUS!
18. "I came, gasping her name, groaning encouragements and commentary on her beauty, which I felt was already eternal. That she could do this to me... she deserved awards, metals of honor, statuary, shrines..."-OH MY GOODNESS! This is fabulous! B's effect on E is practically instantaneous!
19. "I moaned into her as I lapped and sucked at her. I rubbed my own erection into the floor beneath me as I came again, hard and lusty with my face between her thighs, my tongue in a heaven of blood and lust."-HAVE MERCY ON ME...this is so sensual, so erotic!
20. . "I was purring and thrusting and sucking down her nectar."-Sex and blood...So E has sex with B, bites her, practically drains her, and continues to have sex with her while she's bleeding/transitioning into a vampire?
21. "I smiled to think that once she woke up again, I would have this, we would have each other forever."-So its more than sex and blood?
WOW! Like I said, this is INCREDIBLE! I've never seen an E like this before...I kind of don't know what to do with myself, haha. I *really* wonder what E would do if B hates him for changing her...would he tell B the truth? Let her go her own way if the chooses? SO MANY QUESTIONS!
CONGRATS again, and cheers!
| DaleStateShorty chapter 1 . 6/26/2010
Well um this was very disturbing to read close to the end. Very well written, credit due for that. I'm not sure I like how weird Edward continuing to pleasure himself as Bella lay beneath him dying. I didn't like think of him as being a sicko. Your work sets you apart from those that do not like to tackle other forms of writing for fear of being flamed, am honored to read your work. It was very interesting to read and the title to your story, is very fitting! You got my vote!
| Murlily chapter 1 . 6/24/2010
how put it. Well for a mature i give it a any lower i would told you to up it.
| AbruptlyChagrined chapter 1 . 6/24/2010
Don't mind that Bellabia person down below, they have been giving flamer reviews for almost every entry in the contest.
This entry was BRILLIANT, creative, and has my vote.
| moniquecullen chapter 1 . 6/23/2010
oh, i loved this. it was so awesome.