Reviews for Smile
Toxice Acidine chapter 5 . 11/23/2014
Guest 100 chapter 5 . 6/11/2014
Woah. I just found this story, and love it!

So... My thoughts on who is guilty...
Not Gardevoir... Too obvious...
Not that mightyena... That's Wolf I think...
I think it's a team, like rocket? Idk...
darrelodin chapter 5 . 8/23/2013
Well, that was an incredibly morbid story.

Great job you two! This mystery is really amazing. And how you presented the characters was outstanding. No grammatical errors, and you ended this last chapter on a huge cliffhanger. I really liked it!
9BigMan3 chapter 5 . 7/12/2013
I'm liking this story so far. It's just a shame that it hasn't been updated in... going on 2 years now. Really hope you didn't scrap it. If not, I like to imagine this ending with an incredibly shocking Saw-like revelation. Like, maybe it turns out to be Riolu himself doing all the killing.

Anyway, I'll say it again: I really like the story, and I hope you didn't scrap it.

Have a good one.
Take it easy.
Zip it up, and zip it out.
Sit, Ubu sit. Good dog.
One love!
One heart!
Let's get together and feel all right!
I shot the sheriff!
But I didn't shoot the deputy!

...Okay, I'm done.
Mister Don Johnny Cadet Sir chapter 5 . 3/12/2013
I feel a little sad, because this hasn't updated in almost two years... XD; I absolutely loved this. It kept me on edge and wondering what was going to happen. Riolu's personality was perfect. It made the story a lot brighter with his witty, sarcastic remarks despite the fact that there were murders going around him... don't get me started on Pichu's death... even though he was a bit annoying, his death was actually really sad. I felt really bad for the little aura puppy.

I hope this isn't on hiatus. It really is a good story.
fan chapter 5 . 11/20/2012
Amazing story.
fat necrosis chapter 5 . 6/1/2012
Wow the last chapter was like wow...
Donna chapter 5 . 4/18/2012
*shudder* I'm beginning to remember how I started with fan fiction. 12 years old, found one focusing on Tails, rated M. 60 chapters. *shudders again* Thankfully, I don't get that kind of feeling often. But this one is so well-written it reminds me of that one, especially the twist in this chapter. I never would have suspected any of that to happen. I would, however, love to know how the rest of the story plays out, or whether this is the next-to-last chapter. Please, do keep up the good work, you two.
C'tan Lord chapter 5 . 4/1/2012
Very interesting story. I'll admit that I stayed up late to read everything you wrote. The story has an intriguing storyline. I only wish that you didn't have Navy-Blue die. That was a slight disappointment as he could of blamed the murder on Riolu, adding an interesting plot twist. It did surprise me when he was found dead, and you skilfully used that to enhance the horror of the story. All in all, that is a great story.
Guest chapter 5 . 9/5/2011
is that the end? please reply on deviantart after the server works. im beastiam
Aura-Immortal chapter 5 . 9/3/2011

Sadness...why did Pichu have to die? He was so young and innocent!

Now that I got that out of the way! Im glad you are still writing for this and stuff and I cant wait to see how it ends. :D

Also, you Suspense writing bastard! I was pretty Gardevoir did it! Now Im not so sure. Thanks for throwing all my hopes of figuring out the story before it ended, but no! Hawk you officaly owned my sense of finding the endings of suspense stories and my serucity of knowing too much about them.

Cant to read more! :D

-Aura Immortal (James)
Guest chapter 5 . 9/1/2011
it was all a test. congratulations, ur stupid. jk
Souldin chapter 5 . 9/1/2011
Judging from the fact that the last chapter was written by Lupyne (and having just checked your profile where it says that you've updated 'Smile') I assume this to be the penmanship of my good friend Hawk. Nice to see your writing again, and nice to see this fanfic update again.

The chapter was superbly written as per usual with clear, flourishing descriptions and an atmosphere to suit the occasion. From but a few well used words you can tell something bad had happened, or was going to happen, when Riolu woke up. Things are starting to come together but of course there is doubt to whether it is the conclusion (though it would be pretty ironic if it turned out that Pichu's predictions was correct and that was end of story, no unexpected plot twist). Pichu's reasoning makes perfect sense, but the constant hinting of doubt does strike the feeling that there is something more to discover. Also of good quality was the humour which was well implemented and luckily didn't take away from the seriousness of the situation.

This chapter, or at least until 'that person dies' (I don't want to spoil this chapter for anyone who reads the reviews first), feels a bit heavy on the dialogue and there wasn't quite as much detail breaking it up. The detail and atmosphere was good, but not in as large a quantity as that of previous chapters. Also I'm concerned about the lack of impact I felt when 'that character dies', as it felt too obvious when Riolu woke up that 'said character' had been murdered, although his death does give me an unnerving feeling, as if the character wasn't dead, or at least has had an effect on an event that is soon to occur.

To wrap things up, glad to see an update of this fanfic, and I’m eagerly anticipating the conclusion (which I assume will be the next chapter considering the lack of characters left alive). Fantastic job, keep up the amazing work!
baaabuuu chapter 5 . 8/28/2011
Holy. Shit!

This is one of the G-R-E-A-T-E-S-T fic's I've ever had the honor(in this case).

Keep doing what you're good at cause THIS IS AMAZING!
The Puppeteer's Ghost chapter 1 . 7/30/2011
After finally getting back to reading this story I must say I am very impressed so far. The introduction was captivating and the repetition of the word "drip" gave it an eerie feel. The description was incredible as well - not only in the beginning but throughout the chapter.

The first-person narration is enjoyable and humurous while the characters are well-developed.

The pokémon don't have names though, which I found odd. Surely the trainer would have named his pokémon and even if they chose to disregard them (a strong possibility) I would posit that they have some way of distinguishing members of the same species. After all, what makes Gallade different Gallade? It just seems to make sense to me that they would have names.

The ending was nothing if not foreboding and certainly gives the feeling of impending doom. Interesting start and I look forward to reading the rest. The bloody red glow of the sun might have been over-doing it though.
40 | Page 1 .. Last Next »