|Reviews for Travel back in time|
| dvilleza chapter 29 . 7/11
well this was depressing but nice. good job
| A Rabid Fan chapter 13 . 5/26
So yeah I like the fact that you write a lot but I do have quite a few tips for you:
1. Your Sakura is a tad of a Mary Sue. Yes she came from the future but she would still have to work on her physical skills, and she won't have complete knowledge like she does. AKA she wouldn't know that Gaara killed the drunk dude, or that Itachi met Madara. Nope. First of all Itachi wouldn't of told her that as he wasn't as close to her in cannon, second Gaara wouldn't of remembered that detail and/or told her. ALSO even though Future!Sakura has skills, she wouldn't be able to kill Madara like that. Maybe Danzo as she surprised him but not Madara who kicked loads of people's asses. And Itachi loves his village. If he thought Sakura was lying he would do something about it not let it pass.
2. She wouldn't of been let in so easily into the village, especially after the murders of so many prominent members. They would of done a check, or at least asked Suna as they were tentative allies back then. Also the dye - bad idea. You should've said that she altered the pigments in her hair as she is a medic-nin. Her roots would've eventually come in, or they would've found out that she had bought the dye. Ninjas aren't stupid...
3. If Sakura was from the future she would've been smart enough not to spill info to Neji even if she had a relationship with him. Or expected him to love her. As he'd only known her for two days. She wouldn't make such a huge drama over something like that especially cause she's old. And prepubescent Neji wouldn't be attractive to her, especially after she faced a war and assassinations. She is made of bigger stuff. SHE WOULDN'T CRY OVER SOMETHING SO INSIGNIFICANT. ALSO Neji is a popsicle. He is a Ice prince. It is so out of character for him to act like that to her even if she is a Mary Sue. And its also unrealistic for her to act like that to him. She is used to mature Neji and she would realise that they are different. Plus she would be maybe 20 years older (1219? Depends when she chooses to time travel) so a tween would not be attractive to her mature mind. Honest its kind pedo like. Hinata is the COUSIN of Neji, they aren't siblings. If you are going to write a story, please check your facts. Its a turnoff when 'fake' info is inserted unless there is a good reason which is stated. Or at least have more background info and depth...this seems fake and cringy
4. Your writing style is aggravating. I'm sorry to say but if your going to write an action don't do it by using :sob: and :sniff:. PLEASE, please, please write:
After she was done screaming at him she brought a hand to her face to cover a sob.
"You've broken my heart" Sakura sniffed, tears dripping slowly. "It was a bad idea to be with you" This early on. Its literally a couple words more and now the sentence reads more smoothly. The story is better. TADA
So yeah, constructive criticisms. I like the fact that Sakura is overpowered instead of weak. BUT please sort out your facts, your writing style, and the plot. OR get a beta, I won't mind helping if it means you'll advance as a writer.
Until then I have to leave the story as it is cringe-worthy and not in a good way. When you fix it, maybe then I'll read it but until then - sayonara.
A not-so-Rabid and-not-really-a-Fan
| Stella Purple chapter 29 . 4/10
It's over. Nooooooooooooooooooo... :'(
| Stella Purple chapter 7 . 4/10
Love it when sakura teased kakashi! LOLing so hard
I love the reverse harem teasings over here. Hope I'll find plenty more of it in this story!
Nice work you've done here! Would love to read more story like this in the future!
| florence.decostera chapter 8 . 4/9
| Claciro chapter 5 . 2/12
Faking her death around the same time the incident happened isn't a very good idea. It can be used to tracked back to her...
| Claciro chapter 3 . 2/12
Wait. How did Sakura obtain Sharingan?
And why did Hiruzen so easily accept and comply to what the murderer of the 3 elders wrote down like that?
| Alice aquabld chapter 13 . 7/10/2015
I dont not like it. But I dunnot like it. Its not detailed enough and abit weird. And no bonding time. Tho its prettt gopd
| Eone chapter 29 . 6/22/2015
I like the story, but I'm confused by the ending. Who did Sakura end up with?
| Guest chapter 29 . 5/9/2015
I like the story at first but then when I got halfway through the story... Its just...
| Nameless Lurker chapter 4 . 9/9/2014
I sure hope not that Sakura's hair remain black. Coz I think that would completely erased what remains of Sakura's original character.
| Guest chapter 29 . 8/20/2014
Okay in the beginning it was great, but it went to getting confusing once she set foot in the akatsuki. So that will really threw me off and then her her past mix with nenji and sasuke. In my name is sound good to you when you were writing yet but I got really confusing to the reader so next time you write a story show someone what you're writing before you posted not saying this wasn't a good story but it could've been better.
| God Is Wearing Black chapter 4 . 3/11/2014
... I should have said Itachi, dammit!
| God Is Wearing Black chapter 3 . 3/11/2014
I have no idea why but I'm going to say Hidan found her, it was the 'little girl' part
| 4701rose chapter 10 . 2/17/2014
Oh dear god, Lord have mercy. I got to the 'sick' part and I'm not reading any more.