|Reviews for Warming Up|
| Soaring Hawk chapter 3 . 8/22/2011
Im amazed. I didnt think anyone else even thought of them as a good couple! You do so well when it comes to writing about events in the game. Im looking forward to more. )
| augmentedfourth chapter 2 . 12/1/2010
"Scoutin' dawg" gave me my biggest laugh of the day. I don't always like "unintelligent" portrayals of Kain, but this was cute.
I read the other chapters as well - I had never thought of Amy and Rudo together, but it works! Rudo rarely is portrayed as something other than the depressed brute force of the team, so it's nice to see another side of him.
| DezoPenguin chapter 3 . 8/29/2010
Reviewing anonymously because I already reviewed the original Chapter 3, so I can't post a second review of the "same" chapter (even though this is a completely different one replacing the original!):
If I may say so myself, "D'awwwww!"
Silliness aside, this completely revised chapter was a major improvement on the previous one from a story perspective (I do hope that you'll edit that one a bit and repost it as its own story at some point, though, because it was quite good and deserves to be seen). Amy fixing Rudo's clothes was cute (and yes, Rudo, that *is* the answer; you *do* feel that comfortable with one another!), and their kissing (and more) was both romantic and sexy. You get major kudos from me for skipping any random stammering or hapless fumbling between the two of them-since they're both adults it's nice to actually see them acting that way. Particularly in the moments where Rudo's unsure of Amy's feelings but decides to make a move, it's to see that you understand the difference between being unsure and nervous about the *outcome* (where his emotions are fully involved) as opposed to being nervous about the *process* in the way a teenaged boy with no experience is.
Of course, you have the benefit of actually *being* an adult so you know whereof you speak, but it's still such a rarity to see in fanfiction that I had to mention it.
The only discordant note in the chapter was the setting. I figure you picked "outside Guaron" because it gives a viable setting to get Rudo and Amy separated from the party at large and because the "on the threshold of confronting evil" setting lends a certain emotional urgency to the moment, providing a tipping point for Rudo where he might otherwise have waited days or weeks longer had they just been hanging out in a town. However, while you address the inconsistency of outdoor lovemaking (well, almost-lovemaking) on Dezolis by earlier identifying it as a warm day ("above freezing") and also having Amy acknowledge the issue near the end (which does a good job emphasizing the "swept up by our feelings" aspect of the moment), every so often I kept wondering if mesomen or Imagiomages or whatnot were watching from the windows. _-
Other than that, this was a wonderfully romantic chapter, and in addition shows substantial courage as a writer. It's easy to toss out and rewrite flawed material; it's a lot harder to set aside *good* material solely because the scene doesn't work in connection with the story progress as a whole.
| DezoPenguin chapter 3 . 7/8/2010
So...a third chapter.
A few initial notes: While the purposes of the four fortresses were never identified in PSII, Guaron did exist in PSI (indeed, it's the only one of the four that does. It's called Guaron Morgue...which explains why the only monsters there in PSI are zombies. Of course, the building is significantly different in PSII, since the PSI structure has no towers at all). Adding to the note about musk cats, the ones in PSIV do self-identify as musk cats, so if you believe they are the descendants from the ones in Skure that's additional evidence they are what you believe they are. One might speculate that the Dezolians in PSA speak Palman because they live in an integrated town, Carsonville...on the other hand, they have brown instead of green skin, which raises a whole different set of questions.
As for the chapter itself, I enjoyed the interactions. I like the "something's bent" phrase that Rolf points out for Rudo, since particular dialogue tags tend to give characters humanity. Amy's mixed feelings about telling her family what she's up to seem well-rooted (after all, does she want to call them up just to see their scorn and shame-certainly she fears that), and I like how Rudo's losing his family is played to flesh out his opinions rather than for needless, consuming angst-a past tragedy that has left its mark but not rendered the man into an automaton.
What I'm dubious about, though, is the use of the scene in the form of a flashback. Chapters one and two flowed neatly together, but now we're flashing back without any real reason to go in achronological order-no significant emotional tie between the present and the past to trigger the memory, which makes it seem less like part of an ongoing story and more like an independent vignette that fits within a "Rudo and Amy's romance" collection or theme (just as, to a certain extent, this story builds on the separate "And Doctor Makes Four"). The story told in this chapter is good-I'm just not sure it works as "Chapter 3" of this larger story.
| ByeAccount chapter 3 . 7/6/2010
This chapter is sooooo good; it left me hungry for more. I can't wait to see what you write next!
| Alisa III chapter 3 . 7/6/2010
Aww, this was a really good chapter! Love how Rudo went to talk to Amy, and he helped her realise some important things, in the end, but she helped him, too. Love heartwarming moments like that. :)
Please, write more! I wanna know what happens next! xD
| Alisa III chapter 2 . 6/28/2010
Awwww... This story is SO FRIGGEN CUTE! Kain was hilarious and I love the accent you gave him. _ I am very interested in seeing the rest of the cast in the story, too!
It's nice to see progression in Rudo and Amy's relationship, and for a moment I thought it was gonna be rushed, but I am glad that is not the case. _ It's fun to see their interactions, and I am really enjoying this fic so far. :)
You've gotta write more, keep up the good work! :D
| Alisa III chapter 1 . 6/28/2010
Great story, great writing, and great characterization. _ I know I reviewed this on another site, but I gave this another read and I absolutely loved it. :)
| DezoPenguin chapter 2 . 6/25/2010
D'awww; a sweetly developing romance. Rudo's kind of interesting as the "strong, silent type"-though I have to say, I get the idea he's being that way because he's enjoying Amy's antics rather than that it's necessarily his natural personality. Kain, though, steals this chapter completely with his "country-boy" antics (I see you've gone for the English version of his character, with his accent and his accidental-breakage powers rather than the Japanese "he puts the punk in cyberpunk" version...and the English way is much funnier!). I admit, though, I had to go look up the Twigs, since I hadn't remembered any doglike bots in PSII...I think since the lower-ranked ones are "Metal Man" and "Twig Man," I neglected to notice the floppy ears and the tail when I played!
Looking forward to the next chapter!
| The Exile chapter 1 . 6/24/2010
Like this one :) the characterisation is true to the game, the ideas about techniques are interesting and the romance is very sweet.
| ByeAccount chapter 1 . 6/21/2010
One word to express my feeling for this writing: LOVE!
Fantastically written and intimate emotions expressed!