|Reviews for Breathe|
| Kartos chapter 24 . 10/3
Why does it change from narration to first person? That was very jarring.
| Petite Mule chapter 24 . 9/16
Thank you for a very beautîful story.
| Jenny chapter 1 . 9/2
This story was just amazing to read !
| Guest chapter 24 . 9/1
Bravo! Loved the entire story.
| Guest chapter 4 . 8/19
I would be a lot better if there was dialogue
| Baxter87 chapter 24 . 7/8
Loved the story so happy the Darcy and Lizzie had a health baby boy and happy marriage. Wasn't to fond Lydia' s husband he came off as a scrum bag to me and the woman he ran off with wasn't fond of her either. It was ironic the Caroline and Lydia ended up living in the same house. I was kind of sad that Mr. Bingley and Jane didn't marry. Mrs. Bennett was a sad sad woman I felt sorry for her. Can't wait to read more of your wonderful work.
| Binka chapter 23 . 5/24
Having read this before I wouldn't like to repeat anything I've already said in a review. I've really enjoyed rereading it though.
Seeing things from different peoples points of view has started me wondering how my own family, friends, neighbours think about things, I've not yet decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
One of Mrs Bennet's thoughts brought a new plot idea to mind and as it was your story that inspired it, I thought I'd share, especially since I'll probably never get around to writing any of the numerous stories I've dreamed up. What if, so desparate for a son, Mrs Bennet raises one of her girls as a boy? Not Jane, as she is too pretty, and if all else fails she'll be the one to marry well and save them from the hedge rows. My first thought was Mary, because she is described as the planest, but for a really interesting tail, Lizzie, the one who was meant to be a boy and behaves most like one is best. Mr Bennet agrees because it will save Longbourn from Mr Colins clutches. Lizzie, not sure of her code name, is encouraged to be boyish, wear trousers, have short hair, bind her chest when she gets to the necessary age etc. She's sent to Cambridge and due to her lack of maleness, avoids activities such as those George Wickam indulged in, consequently spending most of her time with A much younger Mr Darcy and a slightly older Bingley. They've all got to be a similar age for this to work. The three decide to share rooms, Darcy discovers Lizzie's secret and they fall in love and the fun starts there. Jane is the only sister who knows of the deception being the eldest, feels sorry for Lizzie and secretly trains her in how to be a girl so she can seemlessly switch between the two. I can just see her winning a fencing match with Colonel Fitzwilliam, beeting Darcy's father and Uncle in shooting matches and convincing Darcy to expose Wickam for who he really is before he ruins more lives, which will take him out of the picture early. Darcy enlists his mother, who did not die, in a scheme to create a new identity for Lizzie so she can be the woman she was born to be and marry Darcy, Jane marrys Bingley of course. Colonel Fitzwilliam learns Lizzie's secret because I want to see his face when he's beeten by a girl, but I'm not sure who else, maybe the Gardeners? and Bingley obviously. Maybe Caroline can be normal in this story because Darcy is too young for her and she's not obsessed with him and she ends up marrying the Colonel? Anyway, the friends arrange a fatal carriage accident for Lizzie's alter ego and she becomes Elizabeth, a rare beauty that the Bennets wouldn't recognise if she was standing in front of them. Ooo, what if Lady Catherine just lost Anne and Lizzie takes over her identity, Lady Catherine is a good guy here and nobody can deny Lizzie's identity because Anne was always so sick nobody ever saw her. Sorry this is a bit disjointed, but I'm making most of it up as I go. Hope you don't mind me using a review for this, but I just thought you'd like to see that as all great authors do, you've inspired the creative side in someone else, however poor my creation ended up. Hope this was at least entertaining and thanks for a great read.
| idanu11 chapter 1 . 5/25
thanks a lot. its a good story
| sherryola chapter 24 . 5/11
I enjoyed this story very much. I love how Darcy and Lizzie worked together, loved, fought, but didn't let the bad things from outside come between them. I sort of wished that all the naysayers would somehow be around them and see their utter bliss, particularly their joy in each other. But I suppose, the like of Lydia and Fanny would never have been able to acknowledge it. I was sad about charles dying, but I didn't want him to marry Jane,a nd as a gentleman, that was the only thing he could do. Thanks for the happy ending.
| ficfangirl chapter 24 . 5/10
I enjoyed reading the story. Thanks for sharing.
| Travesti chapter 24 . 5/9
I most certainly didn't expect that ending! But I love the realism - you really stick to your guns! A great read. I definitely recommend it to anyone who's looking for great writing and are open to more than fairytale endings.
| medloud chapter 24 . 4/15
This was amazing!, I read it completly a few weeks ago and I haven't review because there was so many things i wanted to say, so many lines i want to remark...you're story makes me happy, i have read it again and again and i suspect i'm gonna keep reading it forever!.
You're story has EVERYTHING, romance, drama, comedy, action (reeeeally cool the Wickam part), tenderness, passion, oh Lord the passion!, erotic, romantic, intense and tender all at the same time (so Darcy).
Very well written, detail enough without being boring, coherent characters and history, clever and original ending with the POV's (although i missed what i considered one of the most important POV's of the story...Darcy's servants! what they saw, what they heard..., what they coment obout (chap. 18: "oh my God, he is killing that woman!").
I respect the choices you took about the characters, however, since you did it so well i now feel sad every time i see Charles in the 2005 movie. I prefer the "book Bingley" than the "movie Bingley" anyway.
I also would have preferred you to kept the "movie Mr. Bennet", Donald Sutterland broke my heart in a million pieces in the last scene, reminded me my grandfathers!.
There's no much to say about Jane in the movie or book, but I suspect she is inspired by Jane Austen's sister and since they had such a positive relationship I don't think she would have turned as you presented her, besides, i believe she is so close to Lizzy because there's some Lizzy in her!.
Finally i know you wrote this a long time ago, you probably won't even see my review, but if there's a chance, i beg you, please, please, to rewrite the ENTIRE BOOK using your POV's technique (all the moments and thoughts we know are there but Jane Austen did'n mention or just hint at them) and of course exchanging the book's with the movie's favorite scenes (Darcy's first look and double take at Lizzy for example). Please , please.
To finish, one of my favorite lines:
"It was like for the first time in her life she had tasted chocolate. Sweet, delicious, melt in your mouth chocolate. She knew eating too much was bad for you, but she couldn't seem
to get enough.
Mr. Darcy was her chocolate."
Many hugs, blessings and thanks to you.
| NancyJeanne chapter 24 . 3/17
A beautiful, wonderful story, thank you!
| Guest chapter 20 . 3/7
you killed off Charles Bingley and married Jane off to a 2D character... I would be very angry at this but the Lizzy/Darcy moments were so delightful! the ending seemed rather rushed and lost the P&P tone though..
| Guest chapter 24 . 3/6
Yet another story that I would love if not for the total and utter destruction of Jane and Bingley. I don't understand people who think their love story is less than Elizabeth and Darcy's. Darcy walked away repeatedly, too, and it was just luck that had the two of them back in the same place. And Darcy didn't have folks lying to him.