Reviews for The Beginning of the End
Starwars55 chapter 1 . 6/21/2010
Ok, desperate need of appropriate comas here, and some better transition words. I feel like random bits of info are being thrown at me, the sentences need to fit together well.

It could be a format problem, but your large blocks are rather intimidating. You need to split them up into smaller paragraphs.

REALLY need some comas in there.

But keep improving, and keep writing.
AbCarter chapter 1 . 6/20/2010
I don't really see how this story ties in with the A-Team. Zeus seems to be a one man army and doing fine on his own. Why would he need the A-Team's help?

Try not to put all the speech and action into the same paragraph. When a different person starts to speak or act break for a new paragraph. That makes the story easier to read.