Reviews for Vignettes
i am cloud chapter 8 . 5/18/2015
Realized I put the wrong 'your' in my last review (accidently wrote 'you're' instead of 'your'). Anyway. I liked this chapter. Dr. Parker's one of those characters whom I go back an forth on. (Should I like him, should I hate him? I honestly can't decide.) This one-shot made me like him (actually, more sympathetic) towards him - darn you! Anyway, nicely done.
i am cloud chapter 7 . 5/17/2015
Why couldn't this be how it all went down? Oh, wait. Rigghhhttt. Then we wouldn't have the musical we all know and love. (But this is such an interesting concept! Someone, please make this a thing!) Dude, I'll totally pay you in virtual cookies if you make a multi-chapter story based off of this chapter! It doesn't even have to be that long, just a few chapters. Otherwise, I'm enjoying you're take on Bat Boy: The Musical! I can't wait to read the rest of your work :)
Idonquixote chapter 15 . 10/16/2012
Every one of these vignettes feels like they could actually have happened, like little scene stops between each "real" scene. The emotions are believable, and I love what you did for each character, even the ones that only fill up background.

I especially love what you did with Rick. You portrayed him very realistically, like he was my own classmate, and it really hints that he and Shelley were just never meant to be.

The ending was so sad though, But happy in a bittersweet way.
SnippedRibbons chapter 15 . 6/23/2011
Spelling error in Chapter 8: "At some point, early in his marriage, he had hoped that the site of him bringing back food for his family..."

There were a few other errors, but I forgot to jot down where they were. There were no grammar errors I think, but there were some missing words and punctuation errors.

- - -

I think you could have re-arranged your chapters to make the story more, not flow-y, but continuous. You wrote the chapters based on the songs in the play, and I think that was a darn awesome, fantastic idea.

The overall climatic and suspenseful segment in this fanfiction is the entire Townsfolk chunk. You drew my emotions out for the characters, and I could understand their way of thinking. I don't come across many fanfictions that draw out multiple emotions like this one, and even though I know you in real life I want to praise you! Most of the fanfictions I have read up till now are dry (don't draw any emotion out from me) or make me laugh (characters doing dumb things).

I found your Bats chapter very interesting. I'm glad you placed a note that you did research on them and took "creative liberties with their sense of smell." I think the Bats chapter and the last chapter of this fanfiction were the most interesting to read.

This fanfiction is going to be added to my favorites. :)
LadyLore3 chapter 15 . 8/24/2010
Wow...this is very likely my favorite chapter out of all of them. The ending was just like...perfect. And there were so many parts that were just so well-written. Seriously, you should be proud of this. The whole story as a whole was brilliant. Great job, these were really fun to read!
LadyLore3 chapter 14 . 8/22/2010
Yay! It's not over! That makes me very happy! :) Indeed, the lyrics do sum up the song, haha. I can't wait for the final chapter! PS Circles ARE fun!
LadyLore3 chapter 13 . 8/22/2010
Haha I so would have grabbed his hand. That's cute. _ These were really good! It's so weird, I had a completely different take on these characters. Not that that's a bad thing, but it's cool how differently people think. I played Lorraine (there were four casts. I played Lorraine in two and Mrs. Taylor in one), and it was completely different. They had us all write a character analysis paper, and I can't remember what I wrote, but it was way different from what her character ended up being. The director, who was kind of a nazi, put me in these disgustingly tacky barbie outfits, had me wear fake acrylic nails, gave me a blonde wig, and told me to be an obnoxious barbie doll. Totally different from my initial take on her character, and different still from yours. Poor townspeople really need more lines, obviously nobody really knows what they're like in real life, haha
LadyLore3 chapter 11 . 8/15/2010
Augh, finally, she's giving us permission to tell us all how we secretly think she sucks, and that the only reason we keep coming back to read every chapter as soon as it's up is because every single one of her reviewers are secretly hermits living under rocks with nothing better to do. I feel SO relieved!

Juuuuuuust kidding! :) Of course you don't suck at writing! I loved this, it was very cool. Most people don't care about the minor characters, so it was nice to hear their voice. You are amazing. Period. And I'm not just saying that to be nice! :)
LadyLore3 chapter 10 . 8/9/2010
HI! _ Haha, okay a part of me was thinking "Aw, his family got to watch him find his mate," and then I realized...Oh. His family watched him mate...kind of awkward, lol.

This was another one that just took me by surprise. I honestly did not expect a chapter devoted to the bats, but this is probably one of my favorites. This is seriously creativity at its best. I love that it's so original and so different from what I thought the bats would be like. Really great job, I'm looking forward to the next four chapters! :)
LadyLore3 chapter 9 . 8/5/2010
Haha, I literally laughed out loud when I saw that you were trying to advertise my story. :) That was nice, though, thanks. _ I really liked this chapter! There were moments when I could hear them talking through a southern accent, lol. Some of the Reverend's lines were really funny. I am religious, but my religion is like the complete polar opposite of Southern Baptist, so I've always found the Reverend to be just hilarious. I definitely laughed at least three times reading this, so you can rest assured that the characterization of the Reverend was spot on, haha
LadyLore3 chapter 6 . 7/30/2010
Aw, this just made me feel even more guilty about hating Mrs. Taylor. :( But that is a sign that it was very good, haha, because obviously you were able to make them all sound more sympathetic. On a side note, my production cut out "Children, Children" and made Ron a girl as well. I knew he was originally a boy, but it was kind of weird. Boys just fit Mrs. Taylor
LadyLore3 chapter 5 . 7/30/2010
I actually played Mrs. Taylor when I did Bat Boy, and I was so worried because I loved the character of Edgar so much and I had so much in common with him that I didn't think I would be capable of convincingly playing a character that openly hated him that much. Mrs. Taylor has never been my favorite character-still isn't, actually probably my least favorite in the whole show, in fact. But that probably has more to do with the fact that all three of her kids rank pretty equally to second least favorite, so even though I was supposed to be devastated, I was secretly happy when they all died. _ That sounds so horrible, haha. I understand her pain a lot more now, because of course I had to force myself to like her and her kids, but it's just interesting reading this now. This would have helped me see her situation a lot more clearly if you had written this eight months ago. _ It's okay. It was like a flashback, haha. Good job! Mrs. Taylor couldn't have said it better herself!
LadyLore3 chapter 4 . 7/30/2010
Meredith is a deep character and it's totally understandable why it's hard to get inside her head. The only emotion she really shows in the whole show is regret, and she kind of just leaves it up to the audience to think what's behind all that regret. But I thought it was really really good! Love it! :)
shelleyedgarlove chapter 3 . 7/25/2010
love love love your story! i'm just reviewing this chapter b/c it's my favorite so far. all the vignettes are great as a whole and i know i'd just love to see more shelley/edgar stuff :) plus your writing is endearing, clever and well structured. good stuff, keep it up!
Gwen chapter 2 . 7/24/2010
I loooooooooooooved it! This story had the "flow" that all good short stories have. The kind that grabs on to you and makes you read the entire story without stopping to take a breath. This one really got my attention. I throughly loved the way that you explored the character's emotions more than the 1st chapter (Rick espically...I thought the backstory about his 1st meeting with Shelly was just adorable...he totallt would do that). The way that you tied in Rick's rant of emotions to Shelly jumping in front of him was also sheer genius. This story made sense as a flash...almost as if this is Rick's life flashing before his eyes. The end where Rick blacks out is quite cool...the supense is awsome. The reader doesn't know weather or not Rick has died or fainted (sadly I do...but that's not the point..ima reading these as if I don't know the way everyting happens in BB).

There isn't much that you can improve on in the chapter...I like how short you kept it..that sums up Rick's short life nicely. There are some lines in this chaper that I just love..I might accidently quote them;)buahahahahahahahahahaha

Keep up the awsomness!3
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