|Reviews for Yeah, Yeah, I Can Cook|
| kalicious chapter 1 . 6/21/2011
| simz1990 chapter 1 . 9/5/2010
huh im disapointed in those two morons once again for not teeling each other how they feel.
anyway cute hilarius drabble!
| great gospel chapter 1 . 7/1/2010
I don't know much (*cough*ANYTHING*cough*) about the context, but I have to admit that this was a rather amusing piece. ;D I did spy a few errors, however, which are listed below.
For this section:
- or anything really depending on who it was that asked -
I'd suggest italicizing 'anything' - it just helps with the flow - and inserting a comma after 'really'.
. . . Which in turn led to arguments, which sometimes led to fights.
Aren't arguments and fights pretty much the same thing? Or by 'fights' do you mean like an actual /physical/ conflict? If so, you'll want to make that clear.
and he wasn't to keen on being manipulated by the girl of his every thought.
'to' should be 'too'.
'Come Miss Honda, the little kitty-cat would rather sit up here and mope.'
You missed the comma after 'come'.
So what if he didn't want to help make food.
Isn't that a question? You forgot the '?'.
I think this:
Tohru smiled, even when they weren't with each other Yuki and Kyo were pushing each other to do things.
should be rewritten as:
Tohru smiled. Even when they weren't with each other, Yuki and Kyo were pushing each other to do things.
/Tohru started it./ Chided Kyo's mental defense.
should be written as a single sentence. Thoughts pretty much follow the same rules as speech, but you have the choice of using either single quotations ('word') or italics (/word/).
/Tohru started it/, chided Kyo's mental defense.
I think this:
Still, Kyo was grinning, and the kitchen walls were a disaster, and Tohru looked like she had just rolled around in a pile of food. . . but to her credit, Kyo looked about the same.
should be rewritten as
Still, Kyo was grinning. The kitchen walls were a disaster, and Tohru looked like she had just rolled around in a pile of food...but to her credit, he looked about the same.
and a second later the rice was out of his hand, past Tohru's ducked head and straight into the eyes of Yuki, who had apparently thought that Kyo's words were spoken for a different reason.
you can do without the first 'and'. There should also be a comma after 'head'.
Tohru, having just put the last dish on the table walked back into the kitchen.
There should be a comma after 'table'.
"Sorry Kyo." She mumbled.
The period should be a comma, and the 's' in 'she' should be lowercase. They're both part of the same sentence.
"Whatever." Was his response.
Pretty much the same as above. It's one sentence.
All in all, nice work. There were just a few simple little mistakes. I know your challenge is over, but I just want to say that I can't wait for your next fic!
| DreamersParadox chapter 1 . 6/22/2010
I adore this. (:
It's short, so I don't get bored/tired of reading.
It's cute, but not too cute, so I don't like gag on fluff or something.
It's correct. I loathe constant grammar/spacing/spelling mistakes.
And when I say adore, I mean I ADORE this. (:
| Ongaku no Usagi chapter 1 . 6/22/2010
Aww, very kawaii! I would've liked a little more detail on the food that was in the food fight, though.
And ironically enough, aren't leeks the one thing we see Kyou cooking (for Tohru) in the anime?
Write more for Furuba!
| FadingNoctis chapter 1 . 6/21/2010
Aw, so cute. I can see this happening (early in the series).