|Reviews for Unplanned Paternity|
| Valerya Gonzlez chapter 17 . 1/11
Su Fanfic es genial y no puedo esperar para leer el siguiente capítulo, estoy súper emocionada que ya lo releí 2 veces jejeje
| Reine de la Mort chapter 17 . 1/10
I think all the line breaks in this chapter were swallowed by Internet demons. Just something to note before I get into the rest of my review.
I should probably start this off with the positives: The technical aspects of your writing are generally fine. In terms of fanfic quality, yours is definitely pretty high up there. The concept is interesting, and executed well enough.
That all said, the single biggest thing about this fanfic, which just makes me very uncomfortable, is how misogynistic it is. No, I'm not saying this story hates women in a rabid manner. It's much more subtle and insiduous than that. I'm not even sure if you're actually aware of the implications of what you've written.
Pretty much all your female characters are either hysterical, over-emotional, incompetent, over-sexualised, or plain unimportant. Or, in other words, they're either mothers, whores, or children. The main trope that comes to mind here is the Three Faces of Eve.
Of the two female ANBU that you've mentioned so far, Yuugao and Mouse, the former is just background decoration, and the latter is first introduced as helpless, having been relegated to babysitting because of an injury, and then she's incompetent, being killed off... to make way for Kakashi. And ultimately so unimportant that Naruto doesn't even remember or mention her at all.
Not gonna touch the misogyny amongst the children, just mention it, sigh, and move on.
I'll step on the landmine here and bring up Anko. You know, she does have an actual past in canon: apprentice of Orochimaru, one of his experimental subjects, carries a Curse Seal and what must be a whole lot of trauma. Yet, in this story, she exists solely to be a sex object or, more recently, to mock and tease others in a platonic manner.
Even Tsume seems to be completely tied to her identity as a mother, and Kurenai is treated as a hysterical woman. It's just... these women are kunoichi. They're trained soldiers, every bit as much as their male counterparts are. But somehow, only men get into fights in this story. And it's just me, and I fully accept that it may not be possible in the context of this story's idea, but it would be nice to have a female character who's treated as competent and active, for once. I know the original canon wasn't all that progressive when it came to its female characters either, but hell, at least the women of the series had actual pasts and characters.
I'm sure this could all have been phrased better, and there is plenty more analysis I could do, but don't want to write too much about. It's just that the way the women and girls of this story are treated makes me rather uncomfortable, and disappointed.
| Jo-nne-4 chapter 10 . 1/5
First of all, I want to say that I absolutely LOVE this book, it's just amazing. Kakashi's father instinct is hearthwarming and I love how in this chapter everyone banden togheter to avoid Naruto and Kakahsi being seperated. I just wanted to expres my love for this book, keep up the good work!
| Guest chapter 13 . 1/4
Pretty sure Kakashi was 6 when Sakumo did suicide not 8
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/4
This is amazing... I read your profile and I know you guys want flames but your writing is so good so sorry...
| Ireland Scott of BROH chapter 17 . 12/29/2017
| Daniqueenb chapter 17 . 12/22/2017
Please let Naruto have a friendship with Gaara. Or maybe Neji, saskue is too much of an asshole to have a deep friendship with Gaara that would lead to him being a better person and the kage.
| Okina Yume chapter 13 . 12/18/2017
Most of my reactions to this chapter involved ‘Kakashi noooooooo’ in some way, so there’s that.
-kakashi please don’t smother your child
-kakashi please dont tell at your child :(
-kAKASHI PLEASE DONT HIT YOUR CHILD NO
- ohhh no kakashi nooo don’t isolate Sasuke that’s just gonna make stuff worse
| Okina Yume chapter 12 . 12/18/2017
*Clapping with every word* I! AM! SO! UPSET! WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE ORIGINAL TRIO/TEAM 7 TO BE TOGETHER! Bruh you get to see the changes that Naruto can make because of it! Honestly tho- now I’m scared for what is to come. If Kakashi said everyone passed to keep Naruto away from Jiraiya, will Sasuke get angry? Feel he’s been jipped? What about with Orochimaru? When he goes for Sasuke, Naruto won’t have that bond with him that his previous loneliness caused him to form so tightly. Will he have that same drive to bring him back? What about Sakura? She was affected by Naruto’s drive as well. No Kyuubi, no Itachi to re-emerge for Sasuke to attempt to fight! There are so many better changes to adapt for besides Team 7.
But what I’m REALLY waiting for is the bombshell. ‘Hatake Kakashi... this isn’t your true name. Your real name... is Uzumaki Naruto’. Cue wide eyed Naruto, dramatic wind blowing in the background, and Kakashi almost crying in fear of what he might lose, in pain of the past he’s breaking.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH ALL IN ALL YOUR STORY IS SUPER COOL AND I HOPE YOURE DOING WELL AND HAVING A GREAT DAY!
| Okina Yume chapter 10 . 12/18/2017
WHO in their RIGHT MIND would COMPLAIN about the LENGTH of these BEAUTIFUL CHAPTERS!
Honestly! It’s so well done and you stuff so much into them while also getting in everything that you need to. I love the way you write and how you write the story!
| Okina Yume chapter 5 . 12/18/2017
Omigosh I haven’t been on in forever but I come back to THIS BEAUTY?! A gift come true!
I LOVE how this is going- you have the adorable kids growing up together and FATHER KAKASHI I CANT BELIEVE! But everytime you mention Naruto and the words ‘his father’ my heart breaks a little inside as I think of what is to come TT
But you aren’t holding back on the action either which I LOVE! Some people dumb it down to either all action or all growing up sections but you have BOTH and it makes your story SO MUCH BETTER FOR IT!
Speaking of which- AAAAAAAAAAHHHH THEY GOT THE LIGHTNING COUNTRY INVOLVED THIS IS A BAD!
I’m excited to see where the rest of this story goes, thank you for making this!
| Arcanum Ignis chapter 17 . 12/12/2017
I'm a huge fan of your and your sister's work and this is a really great story so far! I hope you and your family feel better soon, and I hope you have a nice day (
| Guest chapter 17 . 12/9/2017
I hope you all feel better soon.
| ed chapter 17 . 12/4/2017
This has always been one of my favorite stories, along with basically every other naruto story you've written! Anyways, I'm sending good vibes your way for you and your family's health to improve. I've gotten sick a lot, and severely sick a couple of times, so I understand how you feel. To sum it up, I hope you and your family get better quickly and thanks for writing this and all the other stories you've written! 33
| clara200 chapter 4 . 12/4/2017
What is funny is Naurto they thought he was Kakashi kid and they died for nothing.