Reviews for The Princess and the Pig Continues
PippinStrange chapter 8 . 4/8/2013
this was aaaawesome
sb4ever chapter 8 . 11/11/2011
thanks for writing this! this was one of my favorite episodes since i've started watching adam-12 again. it was just a different episode for the show and spotlighted reed is a different aspect, too. nice job!
Belladonna16 chapter 8 . 12/12/2010
Fantastic Story Aussielover! I loved your characterizations of Jim and Pete - they were quite true to character, I think. Nicely moved plot too. Thanks for such an enjoyable read.
rookiegirl chapter 8 . 12/3/2010
Well, I FINALLY found a snippet of time to enjoy a little reading, and enjoy it, I did. You did a great job of bringing depth to the orginal storyline. It was nice to see how it all rounded out and then came to conclusion. Loved the gathering of the guys at the end; the commaradarie between the shiftmates is always a nice touch. Keep up the great work and get started on another story soon!

Janet
JackWebbFan chapter 8 . 11/25/2010
Good to see you posted an epilogue to this, I was hoping you would. I will say it does seem a little rushed, as you jump from Pete and Jim in the hospital onto two months later. Might have been nice to see how Hayes was caught. I think maybe something happened to the spacer between your scene change from the hospital to the Reeds' home, as there's no line or anything to indicate a switch, it just jumps and it's a bit jarring to read.

But, overall, it wasn't a badly done piece and it was a nice coda story to this particular episode. I actually like your "single" Pete stories versus your "engaged" Pete stories, you seem to do better with those kinds of standalone pieces.

I do apologize if I sounded as if I were trying to discourage you from writing, believe me, that is the LAST thing I would do to an author of this realm, seeing as there's only a few of you writing Adam-12 fanfiction anymore. I have had no issues with your canon aspects, you've tied this piece in very well with the original episode, and you do stay true to canon with most of your stories. And I in no way disliked this piece at all, in fact, I have enjoyed reading it as it has progressed, my only complaints were what I've stated before as far as your style being a bit stiff, plus the whump factor was a bit overdone. I definitely encourage you TO keep writing, it keeps that great old show alive for us fans, and please, don't let me or anyone else stop you FROM writing, either.
JackWebbFan chapter 7 . 11/22/2010
I apologize for not getting back over to review sooner, but life has a way of interrupting, as you know. The whump factor is a little more realistic with the changes you've made, and how Pete alerted Mac that he was in trouble is a good call on your part, but I do hope you at least have an epilogue in the works, as it's kind of left hanging at the end of this chapter. Overall, the piece isn't bad and it's a nice coda to the original episode, but I sometimes wish the worst whumping Pete or Jim would get would be a papercut, LOL!

And while I'm by no means trying to make you change your style, have you considered taking a writing class to maybe learn how to make your stories flow and transition more smoothly between scenes? Or if a writing class seems too much like English classes and school, there are also books out there that can guide an author just as well, including one by Stephen King, called "On Writing". And I'm sure that there are probably creative writing college textbooks that you can pick up at a used bookstore that might help improve your style a bit. Your writing isn't bad at all, just a bit stiff and stilted to read. Some of your lines are awkwardly paced, such as the line "Jack's eyes showed that he's expired." It makes him sound as if he's a dairy product gone sour, and that present tense/third person format is hard to get around at times.

And I apologize for taking your review section to address another reviewer, but I felt that her remarks needed some comment, for they were a bit uncalled for, in my opinion. NicholeD, while your review to Aussielover was highly complimentary and very nice, you also slammed another author on the site in that same review, which is VERY disrespectful to not only Aussielover, but the author you slammed as well. If you have issues with a particular writer's works, then you should take it up with them in THEIR review sections, rather than publicly attacking them in someone else's review section. After all, the author whose works you have slammed cannot really defend herself here in Aussielover's review forum. However, I will definitely encourage her to take action against you, either in her own review forum or by sending you a PM in response to your criticisms. Please remember that ALL the writers on this site have the freedom to write what they want, when they want, and how they want; for without the diverse individualism in the stories posted here, the site would be very dull indeed.
NicholeD chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
Thank You for another wonderful story. I have throughly enjoyed all of your stories. The tone of your pieces is very similar to that of the show itself. Exciting, but not too graphic. That was a trademark of the Jack Webb shows. You also have an excellant grasp of the general natures of the characters. First and foremost, a fan fiction writer has to be true to the characters. While some leeway is necessary, too much ruins the story and the character. (Such as the bitter, foul mouthed and insubbordinate Pete found in some of the stories seen here). do not feel pressured to change your style.

Keep up the good work. I look forward to another Pete and Jenny story.
ssabl chapter 7 . 11/14/2010
great story, the character of Pete would always put himself on the line for Reeds.

Again great writing. An epilogue would be great
JackWebbFan chapter 6 . 11/8/2010
While the story is okay overall, I have some issues with it. First of all, your writing style is very stiff and awkward and I think it's due to the fact that you're writing in present tense/third person POV. Try writing in past tense/third person POV, see if your story flows smoother that way, because as it is, it's incredibly stilted and just doesn't sound right.

Also, you might want to tone down the whumping in your stories. I've noticed that there seems to be a bad habit of some of you Adam-12 writers to whump Pete and inflict SERIOUS injuries upon him that would nearly kill an ordinary man, yet you guys have him up and moving around in the next chapter or so. I mean, c'mon here, let's get real. I've had a broken collarbone and ribs myself and trust me, moving was the LAST thing I wanted to do. It's just very unrealisitic to read about the injuries you writers inflict on him that have him critically hurt in one chapter, yet he's miraculously recovered in the next chapter.

And I would have thought that police officers would have been sent out to Jim's house right away once they realized he'd been kidnapped, in case a ransom demand was made or his family was in danger. I doubt that any officers would have been pulled off of duty like that, and that you pulled the two men that were guarding Jean prior to Pete's arrival is a rather silly and contrived plot point. Jean Reed would not have been left alone at any point once they realized Jim was kidnapped, no matter what.

Don't get me wrong, I don't wish to discourage you from writing, as there aren't many Adam-12 fanfic writers out there anymore. Everyone seems more intent on writing Twilight or Harry Potter junk. And like I said, the story isn't bad, I just see some areas where it could be improved, that's all.
louise1717 chapter 6 . 11/7/2010
hey good things are worth waiting for...look forward to more...

enjoyingb the action adn the hurt...
sings2high chapter 5 . 11/5/2010
I'm really enjoying this one. Another chapter soon, please?
rookiegirl chapter 5 . 9/20/2010
More suspense as Jim is still in the hands of the bad guys, especially now that the bad guys are going after his family. Love the guilty anguish you are putting Pete through with knowing that he has to go face Jean; question is, will he get to the Reed house before the bad guys can carry out their plans for Jim's family? Update soon!
ssabl chapter 5 . 9/6/2010
another edge of the seat chapter. I don't know who I would be more scared of a very angry Pete or a bunch of p? off thugs.

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter (hopefully not to long a wait)

Cheers Sue
medicgirl chapter 5 . 9/5/2010
Oh, man... when Pete gets there, he's gonna lay them all out! Guilt and adrenaline are a dangerous combination...
medicgirl chapter 4 . 8/15/2010
Wow, poor Jim! But since the other officers are already there, the family will be safe, right?
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