|Reviews for First Contact|
| TrixyTheZoroark chapter 31 . 10/16/2020
I really liked reading this story, even with the dark stuff in there. I'm more fan of the humorous moments and the romance. (Wouldn't it be awesome if this story was written/re-written like one of your romance one-shot ? Because they are really cool !)
| ExplosiveTurkey chapter 31 . 1/3/2016
This... is by far one of the best fics I have ever read on this site. The story, the characters, everything, just perfect. I'm rather disappointed you didn't finish this though.
| david davidson chapter 31 . 7/31/2012
oh man, that last paragraph was just so damn good. i don't have much feedback besides "this chapter was awesome and flawlessly written" and the last two sentences.
those last two sentences are just so damn good, so well thought out and beautifully fitted.
bravo good sir, bravo.
| david davidson chapter 29 . 2/19/2012
i'm thoroughly enjoying this story so far, having happened upon it just a day ago and blazing through the chapters as quick as possible, along with your other fics. your writing style is well thought out, with all the action you manage to pack in, but somewhat short sighted, such as when the typhlosion could protect from an orbital impact on the earth's surface, but not form a garchomp. i'm well aware it was to express the rage at the father figure being killed, but perhaps if it read a little more like as if the typhlosion couldn't get the protect up to full power immediately or something. that's just my opinion though, i'm not gonna tell you how to write your stories :P i really hope you continue to write this one day, as it is something i would be so glad to see finished.
in short, this fuc kicks ass, and you should definitely continue writing it!
anyways, best of luck with your writing, and your everything else.
| hironada chapter 29 . 10/29/2011
So... You alive man?
| Galalithial chapter 29 . 2/15/2011
I know I shouldn't be laughing, but Happy Valentine's!
| lyson devorae chapter 29 . 2/14/2011
why is it whenever bad stuff happens the FIRST thought in all of your characters heads is suicide :/
personally i do not think in any given real world scenario din would have gotten half as far (even assuming he had a magical protection barrier) because they would have gotten the weapon away from him long before he had time to lock and load a round.
p.s. suicide prevention classes, for the next two months cuz of him.
fun fact: not related to this chapter but i totally read the chapter on siria getting sick on R&R while i was home on R&R from afghanistan, next day: half of family gets sick.
| Infinity WEAPON chapter 29 . 2/14/2011
*Head as-* Nope, not even going there.
You weren't kidding. Geez...
Still, A as usual :D
| Xaviertrix chapter 29 . 2/14/2011
I did see it coming, but it's still a shock :(
Din, Rest in Piece, or was it Peace... Hopefully both, seeing as they're soldiers. We will miss you.
Although, arguably, I don't think he really thought out what that would do to everybody, even to those who didn't really know him, stress out the wazoo :/ (for those who did? whoooieeee...)
Oh, and thanks for replying to my review (honestly, too o_O)! I wasnt sure if I was to respond or not, though, seeing as you closed it up pretty good :x
Although, in a nutshell, I agree with pretty much everything there (especially Luvenia - although I'd do a little to give her a -tad- more stability), especially that one part about brotherly love.
Oh, and on the romance note, a small suggestion: have the two a little happier then normal when they re-unite. And of course, a little picture of their other in a locket or wallet probably wouldn't hurt to be given out :o
So, um, yeah. That's all for now, I guess :x
Sorry for rambling again, and keep up the awesome work!
(And to that unanswered question? Yes, you should have waited another day XD. Oh well, earlier story for us :D)
| Ninthlite chapter 7 . 2/14/2011
What are these Guys? Pokemorphs,humans,Pokemons? None of options make sense
| Shaw Fujikawa chapter 28 . 2/8/2011
So it was close to a week instead of the day I think I said I'd do it somewhere - Mary Sue me. I got sidetracked on that chapter I was writing (which I ALSO said I'd have done quicker than before...) so, you'll forgive me for that. I hope. )
Levina complains that the Nidoking is a coward, I should've expected that. I think it's overall a better idea to run and live to fight another day than put Honour Before Reason and waste your life needlessly, though. Somebody needs to tell her that.
lol, Overseer constantly hushing Tack up got a laugh from me. Unnecessary, though. It looked like Tack was going to say the exact same thing as Overseer does a few moments later, just in a less officious way. Why is it always Skarmory who're assigned the recon missions, anyway? Planes went out of style or something?
Ah, look, it's our old friend Aiden again. I don't get it. Why doesn't Nuwai or Jul actually realise it's him and point that out? They surely must at least have some suspicion that he survived the helicopter attack - after all, they never found a body. Even when Din vehemently accuses Lyall of Talal and Ward's deaths, they don't try to correct him. That's a little jarring, given all they've been through.
Lyall was genetically modified and experimented on? At first I thought this was because he was one of the leaders so he was rooting for it as well, but now that it's plain he wouldn't have liked all the augmentations over just some smart thinking, I wonder how he got them in the first place. If he was Aiden's equal then he surely could have refused the treatment.
That history on the Typhlosion's rise to power is interesting, though I'm surprised. He definitely sounded like he was a smarter individual than being such an idiot with tactics and strategy. I mean, he was obviously insane with power and all that, but not an idiot.
Speaking of Shadow, what exactly was so different with the unique vial that Aiden received from Lugia, compared with the ones he was synthesizing himself? I'd guess it either completely corrupts the user (not like the douche could be more corrupt anyway) or keeps their mind perfectly intact. Either way, it sounds like something that wouldn't do in an army trying to command the victims, so there's a reason to perfect it for both of them.
A cryptically encrypted disc with no source of a password or key? I get the feeling Siria's photographic memory and her Porygon hacker friend are going to be quite important with cracking that...
So was Jul unconscious? Just clarifying, I don't think it's said or implied that he's one or the other here. And LOL, Din's spit. Where he gets the water without draining himself I don't wanna' know (unless conservation of mass is ignored and I'm going to have to resort to the MYST3K Mantra (did I get that one right?) to look past it. Ha!).
That Borealis thing sounds a bit farfetched. I know this likely takes place Twenty Minutes Into the Future, but that plane sounds a lot like something fully capable of being deployed on a regular basis instead of a prototype. Sounds awful valuable to be sending into a (now-presumably-hostile) country.
The author of that note must be Lugia. A friend and a loved one... his mate and their child? And those 'fallen from grace' and 'who dares not show his face' lines might have something to do with his possible shame over Shadow, which is actually mentioned... creepy.
The narration slips into present tense at the end of the first paragraph of the next section. I'd put her supposed speech in the brackets into speech marks, so it doesn't sound like that's what the author's thinking, not Siria.
Alyssa... the Dragonite. You know, there seems to be an awful lot of that species running around in Halycia! One in the medical squad, one in the exfiltration team, one living the civvie life...
Oh, that poke at Justin Bieber was just PERFECTLY timed. XD
Sounds rather convenient that Siria's dad has a severe debilitating accident just in the same week that the two return from deployment. Though when I think about it, it might be a cause instead - the guy's working at whatever and thinking about his family, and makes a critical mistake in his thoughts.
I can sympathise with Siria. Taking care of a disabled close family member who you're not on great relations with is not a nice experience. At least she gets some form of reprieve by having to leave in four or so days.
Loads and loads of plot points revealed here. I like that, it gives me a bit to chew on and do some wild guessing while I'm at it. Heh. Keep up the good work, Yakolev. )
| Xaviertrix chapter 28 . 2/7/2011
Oh, hi. It's me. :
You have incredible talent - that's plain to see. Of course, that vast majority of my reviews are on people who have that, so let's assume that's a given :)
Uhm... now, if you don't mind, I'd like to say several blunt things. Sorry, but I feel as though this is the best way to say them... being diplomatic is good, but blunt (hopefully) constructive criticism can go a lot farther in the long run, or so I've ben led to believe. Also, the good stuff is before the bad, so if you want to skip the praise... Well, the other stuff is underneath :x
ALSO, if you don't want to read like a 3000 word review you can just leave .
Your plot is incredible.
Your action scenes are incredible.
Your story has gone on for quite some time without dying. That in itself is much more then I can claim.
Your characters are well composed, and from a third person view, within the story, great.
You keep everything in character, which I notice many tend to become lax with after time.
Your knowledge of military tactics, diplomacy, weapons, and lingo far surpass my own average know-what, as well as probably the majority of the population. That means you make everything professional, which is good.
Importantly, you can weave these elements together in a way that isn't too much of each, yet has just the right amount.
Which means that, with just that, you have created a quite nearly perfect story that will appeal to about a quarter of those on fanfiction - and for one story, that is not bad at all.
And then you tried to snag the additional 50%.
-THE MEH/BAD- (note that i'm only using firsthand knowledge at this, not third [like stereotypies :O]) ()
And that 50% is interested in just about one thing - ROMANCE.
So you put a romance between two comrades, not bad in itself, and made them embarrassed and somewhat aware of their mutual attraction. Also not bad.
ANDDD then you hooked them up, also not bad. Primarily in the first few chapters, then the big whammie in chapter 13. Unfortunately, your story is probably going to span 50, which might stretch that a little in non-highschool fanfics .
But the thing that stuck out to me (mind you, none of these are big stickingoutnesses, I just tend to notice everything way too much) was that your characters, when meshed with romance, are falling to next to no cliches... (by my knowledge: Lots bad, None bad, A few good) Excepting Luvenia, of course.
SIRIA has had her emotions twisted romantically about once: when Shad left her behind. That lasted about four seconds, too, with no aftershock. That, and she has acknowledged her relationship in ways that last more then two sentences only a few times. UNCHANGED.
SHADRACH has had his emotions twisted romantically halfway once: when he left her behind. It was justified though, so despite being sad, he didnt really feel guilty. Having a relationship has changed him in absolutely no obvious way, except that he talks to her about private stuff more, as well as the random smoochies. UNCHANGED.
SIRIUS is just kinda a perv in his free time, and whenever he's near a non-sister female. JUSTIFIED UNCHANGED.
LUVENIA has gwah. Retaliate against perv x30, aaaaahhh, Charlie... AAAAH! CHARLIE!.. meehhhh, Charlie... ! QUITE CHANGED.
Awesome story, keep up the incredible work - one more sub for you :3
Anddd sorry again .
| Galalithial chapter 28 . 2/5/2011
I like, a wonderful refresh from this story I've been reading that is just plain terrible on description and most everything else about it. Yet, I keep reading because I feel I must help this failing author. Anyway, excellent chapter.
| Infinity WEAPON chapter 28 . 2/4/2011
Sorry, I just have to say it. Science has yet to make anything truly impossible. Well, other than FTL travel.
A Jet-copter-of-doom-transport-that-nobody-can-see-or-hear is childs play compared to some of the major scienific discoveries we've made. Like Space travel, for instance.
Other than that, awseome chapter! Poor Siria...
| JoyReaper chapter 27 . 1/12/2011
Its been cool to see the story evolve from chappie to chap over the time I've been reading this.