Would've preferred a darker ending where Thalia ends up becoming a child bride to Hades, but whatever.

Nice :) It could have been longer, adding just a bit more detail on the emotions and making the end a bit longer, but overall, it was very good :)

I like this a lot. Very creative.

-Lieutenant of Artemis

*is too lazy to log in*

It was interesting, Luna. I think you did really good with description and such. Good spelling and grammar too, of course.

I adore this. Very different, lol.

*huggles*

-Des

This was good, I'll admit it.

But I do have a problem with the length. Such a short story allows little room for description, and while you've done fairly well, it could have been longer.

The conclusion was maybe a bit too quick, if that makes sense.

The grammar and spelling are fine, as far as I can tell.

I give this an 8.5/10.

Thanks, much.

~Rachel.

I like it. It's original and the spelling and grammer was good. Also, you were very descriptive.

Good job Luna!

~Tay(:

Wow! This is pretty awesome, but totally random. Way to go, Simbob!

Short. Flow is off in some places. Well described but some parts don't really fit. Optimism goes from very high down to zilch in a couple seconds (not really a good thing, unless you worded it a little differently). Still, it's pretty creative. The idea isn't really overused, and the structure is pretty good.

Good job.

Interesting, and well written. The idea seems very original, though I think it'd be more fitting for a climax in a multi chaptered fic. Nevertheless, a very enjoyable read. Well done.

~JessieRedbird.

This was amazing you are so good at descriptive writing. Was that just a one shot or will you make it longer ?
Courtz

That's intense...