|Reviews for Comfort Me|
| Mikanada chapter 1 . 10/11/2011
Great writing as usual Maverik, this was kind of awkward to read.
| DMLD96 chapter 1 . 7/6/2011
(Hopefully stops messing up and finally let's me post this without any errors.)
When reading any sort of story, I oft try to get an imagery equal to that of watching a cinematic escapade. I have succeeded (as usual) to achieve this, but I was rather bored while "watching" this "movie".
You're wording is good, but it doesn't pop out and get my attention. The words seem a little to simplistic and devoid of much assonance, consonance, and alliteration.
"Carson is a manifestation of the his creator's heartfelt objection to the pervasiveness of the “token” gay stereotype in modern pop culture. (He blindly loves Michael, dresses flamboyantly and borrows his name from 'Queer Eye'.)"
I felt that Carson did show these characteristics, but he also seemed out of character, like his role in the story was forced.
"I'm supposed to be a playboy! Getting with all the hot chicks!"
Don't let Paulo say this, let him BE and SHOW it if he truly is or if truly believes this. It's seems out of his norm persona to say this out loud while having the current discussion with Carson.
"He placed a hand against Paulo's chest and softly rubbed it back and forth, letting his fur run through his fingers. Paulo couldn't help but let out a soft sound from the back of his throat, but he quickly covered his mouth. Carson chuckled at his embarrassed friend. 'Come on. My room is just down the hallway. We can sit and talk... Watch a movie... Or...' He blushed again. 'It's up to you...'
"Paulo's breathing became a little faster, more shallow. 'Ummm... S-sure...' He stammered out. They walked down the hall and into Carson's room, where they closed the door and stood there awkwardly for a moment. Carson knew that Paulo wasn't ready to make any moves, but he didn't want to push him into something he didn't want. It was a dilemma, but none the less, he had to make a choice.
"His hands slid sensually across Paulo's back, causing the Somali to shiver a little. Slipping his hands over the young boys shoulders, he pulled him closer, pressing his chest to Paulo's bare back. 'If you don't try it... How will you know?'"
At this point, it starting to sound good, and a nice little scene in a romance where they are about to do it. It is, but let's keep reading...
*yada yada yada, skipping sex parts 'cuz it's a review*
Now the sex parts are rather arousing, but still kinda dull.
"'Don't! Don't stop...' He blushed deeply. 'Please... Make me feel good... Make me forget about the rest of the world...'"
Seems out of character, and, in real life, most people wouldn't talk like this in the mix of intercourse, even in a romantic situation.
*sex parts again* It seems bland when Carson is ramming it in Paulo. The words seem over used and repetitive.
"It had been a confusing couple of days for Paulo. And maybe things had gone way too fast. But he didn't really mind. He had always been one to take the bull by the horns so to speak. It would be a tough road ahead if he was going to live this new lifestyle. But thankfully, he wouldn't have to walk that road alone..."
A boring end, here. Also, what new life style? He's just realized that he is bi. Besides, this part:
"Paulo sat in the centre of his bed. His knees tucked tightly under his arms as he stared into his mirror across the room. The face that looked back at him seemed mocking. Like it judging him. Calling him out. Mike's face flashed in the reflection, causing Paulo to tighten his grip.
"'Why... Why...' He kept repeating the word to himself over and over again. Why was he so fixated on that damn blue cat. What was so special about that jerk. He remembered the reassuring hug, and his heart struck his ribs with almost painful force.
"'No...' It was obvious. But he wouldn't have it. Not one iota. He would not believe that for even a second. Under his bed... His stash of girly magazines. He lunged himself to the edge of his bed and stared under it, grabbing the first one he could see. He pulled it out and opened it to a random page. A centre fold, spreading herself wide, almost begging the reader to fill her up. It was one of his favourites.
"The rubbing motions aroused the sleeping steeple, and he set to work. He was going to prove that he was a lover of women! He stroked back and forth, harder than he ever had before. But even though the sensation remained as it always had, his heart just wasn't in it. No matter how hard he might try, he couldn't keep going. His whole body seemed to deflate and tire, despite the fact that he should be filled with vigour.
"'What's wrong with me?' His voice was punctuated with slight sobs, tears welling in his eyes. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' He cried out as he hurled the magazine across the room in a fit of rage. His tears refused to stop flowing, his voice breaking apart at the seams. Paulo burred his face into his pillow, and slowly cried himself to sleep."
People don't grab mags and start masturbating out of desperation to see if there are gay or not. Unless some sort of mutation happened, or he got emotionally/mentally/soulfully by a female or by females, he will be attracted to women still, but now also men judging by the near end of the story.
Overall, it's a decent story with some flaws. 6.5-7.5/10
| Tseu Tsumi chapter 1 . 11/24/2010
I never saw this pairing while reading the comics but I have to admit, you've struck gold. This was an adorable story and I loved it. It would love to see more of this pairing now.
| Willinium chapter 1 . 10/21/2010
I liked it rare pairing though great writing