|Reviews for Fortunae Gauntlet|
| Ayame chapter 14 . 7/31
OMG! i love all your stories. please make more, i did not sleep until i finished Asteria Nightmare. I was like on the edge of my seat the whole thought, nah, ill keep reading, so i did. and only know thought of posting a review. everything was was so well written and so well thought out you could rival Oda or he can possibly get your opinions on future side/canon stories. hehehehe please make more. thank you so much writing
| NanneroftheWE chapter 14 . 7/21
That was very well done! Heart wrenching, but you did an amazing job! Thanks for sharing!
| Elil-Hrair-Rah chapter 14 . 3/31
God I love this story, plotwise, it's even better than your 'Asteria Nightmare' and that was already a delight to read!
The pacing and the characterization was so on point, it was like an actual story arc of the canon series (except not for children maybe).
Everything was so perfect - Luffy accepting a challenge straight on just to save a Usopp, Luffy losing his shit in a violent break out after Nami died and Zoro calming him down in a cool and collected manner right there. Zoro abandoning a fight to protect Usopp and dying in the process even tho he treated it like a game (and by that I mean, that he'd rather be successful in protecting his own than to win the overall game to save them all). Robin realizing that maybe this crew means more to her than she'd have ever thought and then dying from protecting them. And ofc Sanji goes off on his own like he usually does; while I hated for him to die alone it was also so much in character.
Luffy strangling Sasori to death was gruesome. I was actually wondering how exactly Luffy would kill with his rubber powers bc unless you beat someone until their body breaks, it assume would require actual precision to accomplish this feat. To have him strangle someone is a very personal way to kill imo. And I loved it bc it highlighted the desparation behind it.
A few negative things however: Fist, I was thinking and hoping Chopper would have been more useful - as a doctor and a prey-animal. Maybe it was the stress of the situation that didn't let him see and/or smell the enemies but it was a little letdown. Also I assume a bolt through the chest is too fatal of a wound to be treated on the run in real life but maybe in OP verse it would have at least been somehow possible? If not to at least delay Nami's demise. Second, I found it a bit off at how the bodies of the Scorpion hunters in the end of the story were treated. Sure, the Strawhats only had each other in mind after they woke up but there was no actual description of emotion from Luffy's side when he saw their dead corpses? And the others totally forgot they were even there. I found it a bit lacking. Same for the elders - they practically shoved them under the rug even tho they fought for the side of the law.
Last, I kinda wished for the last chapter to have been in Usopp's POV (even tho it was a nice balance to have a Nami POV considering she was dead almost all the time). Usopp's POV would have been a chance for a close-up of the whole ordeal and how he felt about having his nakama go through all of this just for him. And while your story is it's own thing, the fact that it played just before the Water-7 arc would have made him closing the story with wondering about his place in the crew a nice wink to canon-verse.
That all said, I really loved your story and I think it's so far the best One Piece GEN-story I've ever read - if not the best GEN-story of all fanfiction I've ever read.
Thank you for this amazing adventure - even tho this story has been posted 6 years ago, I hope my review will still matter.
| Raj8 chapter 14 . 12/30/2015
I really enjoyed this story, it's one of the few quality One Piece fanfiction. All of the characters felt realistic and I enjoyed reading about the consequences.
| HatethePlayer-NevertheGame chapter 14 . 6/11/2015
This was epic...
First of all, most if not all of your writing has a pretty accurate take on the canon characterisation of the straw-hats and I will particularly congratulate you on how much I enjoy your portrayal of Zoro, he is one of my favourites in this. I never really understood why none of their enemy are killed and besides Robin and Zoro it is implied that none of the crew had killed anyone, Sanji I can see killing only out of necessity and revenge and I doubt he could kill anyone in cold blood like the aforementioned two, Luffy would kill in rage and maybe pity I think, but even only if his nakama are endangered or killed, Chopper would probably never kill anyone unless it was a mercy kill and Usopp is pretty cowardly and dwells on death out self preservation and thus would only kill out primal desperation and even then he would never forget it or forgive it and Nami? I don't think, despite her selfish and survivalist persona, could kill as she is very kind hearted, like the incident with Hachi, but it is interesting because it is true that the only people it seems dies in one piece was Ace (still totally unfair btw!) and I seriously hope Oda kills of Akainu for that. Never the less the few critisms I have are Choppers lack of preparation, doesn't he have an multi purpose med kit on him at all times not to mention his sense of smell, dear have very high sense smell and can usually scent anything within their range (not too sure what that is for Reindear though), then I would mention that Usopp has excellent vision and wouldn't have been so off guard and Robin can attack anything within her sight and could have attacked when Luffy and Zoro rushed out, but this was still awesome and I don't write, just have the account to read and comment so I can't really talk
| Mithril Lace chapter 14 . 6/9/2015
That sure was a wild ride. I loved how in character everyone was, and I loved how this played out much like an actual arc in the series would (albeit for an older audience). It's one of the more well-written fanfics I've encountered, and it was certainly well thought out and executed. You managed to capture the essence of each character so well that several of them made me tear up. Usopp made me outright cry.
One of my favorite things about this story is that it also stayed in character to the character during the timeline of the story. You see stories post timeskip where Robin isn't using first names, or stories pre-Skypeia where Zoro has no problems with Robin being in the crew, etc. Your portrayal of the characters in their current setting fit really well, especially because perspective allowed future canon elements to leak in and influence them. That's not something I find very often in fanfiction, and I'm really happy I got to read such a good story :) I've been meaning to for a while (I had it open in one of my tabs, and it was later recommended by a really good friend) and I hope it doesn't take me that long to get to your other story(stories, perhaps).
| Wordlet chapter 14 . 5/25/2015
Yeah! Great story, I like the originality, in each of your OC villains and the overall plot, the whole asteral plain was very intriguing, but AH CHOPPER! I'm a Chopper lover and you really killed me there :(:(:( But yeah, GO LUFFY, BE EPIC AND CUT IT CLOSE, but not that close next time, your scaring me...I think you did good job predicting reacions to crewmates dying, Luffy in particular is tricky, I know, and all things considered I think its a relatively accurate representation:) But really, poor Luffy, thy're dropping like flies and he can't do a thing...
| Guest chapter 14 . 4/12/2015
Omg this story was amazing. I found Chopper and Zoro's deaths so sad - I love them both so much! Please keep writing stories, you obviously have the talent. Thanks for writing, and again, this story was amazing!
| CosmicDucks chapter 14 . 1/19/2015
I love your stories and this last chapter was cute.
| BlatantBookworm chapter 14 . 1/4/2015
Ahh. Final chapter.
It started off painful, and then quickly morphed into surprisingly lighthearted. Reading about their reunion was almost worth reading about them sobbing each other's deaths (which in itself had been it's own reward).
For a bonus death-scare, Zoro's part was remarkably cheerful. He probably was incredibly annoyed at Sanji - after all, the last coherent thing he remembered was dying, before he was kicked again. Although Nami's part suggested they were at least somewhat aware of time passing. And I liked Sanji's accusation that Zoro got lost coming back to life - and especially liked his horror at the idea of one of his nakama starving to death.
I like the subtlety of their responses to the ordeal. Everyone is trying to be calm about it, but knowing that they can't ask what happened. I especially enjoyed the showing-not-telling of Nami backing down from asking Zoro when Sanji told her not to, just from the fact it was Sanji who said it. You left it to the audience to realise why Sanji giving those instructions would be more telling than his words, and I for one think that was well written. Them all being in close quarters from sheer missing-the-others was also enjoyable to read.
It was especially sweet to see them all camping out together. They had to discuss it at some point, if not in detail, and it was beautifully done. Plus, you implied that they did specify more on what had happened, even if you didn't show the exact dialogue; for the audience as well as the crew, it seemed reassuring and safe to hear their voices (if only on a screen) discussing something that needed to be said.
And then it all became surprisingly fluffy for something that was effectively a death fic. Luffy's cheerful reaction was the best, especially since it was clearly contagious. The Straw Hats wouldn't have gotten over it easily, which you acknowledged when you wrote it, but you allowed them to reach a situation in which the challenge would get put in the past eventually, and then it would be left there.
As a final note for the end of this wonderful fic, I would like to just say one thing: thank you for writing 'Fortunae Gauntlet'. It has been a pleasure to read it.
| BlatantBookworm chapter 13 . 1/4/2015
I think that the quick recap in the beginning of the chapter was good. Personally, I've always had a good head for remembering events and things, but it was still nice to have a quick refresh. Even better, it provided a chance to read it from Luffy's view - to see how Straw Hat Luffy, the man famous for his loyalty to his nakama, reacted when he had to watch them die. It was also interesting to see his momentary fury at the hat's destruction, before that was dissolved into pure rage and horror as the last of his crew died in front of him.
Not that that rage stopped him from assuring the sniper that he did a good job. Because Luffy is just that good of a captain, and you are showing his character perfectly.
You did a good job of portraying the absolute desperation and power in Luffy's final battle. And I like how with sheer willpower alone, Luffy forced the poison not to affect him (I know, I know, he did it with Magellan, but that doesn't make me like it any less).
Also, Luffy's frantic squeeze... that was pure beauty.
| BlatantBookworm chapter 12 . 1/4/2015
Luffy and Usopp always make rather impressive entrances, don't they?
It was also really touching to see the lengths that Luffy went to protect Usopp, until they reached the point where Usopp had no choice but to join the battle.
Usopp's battle in itself was poetry. I loved how he finally used the Impact Dial properly as a weapon.
Then, just as he managed to prove himself properly, he was killed.
It was a short chapter, but also quite gorgeous. I loved it.
| BlatantBookworm chapter 11 . 1/4/2015
Reading Usopp's beginning was painful. It felt wrenching to read about how Usopp knew that something was wrong, but Luffy shouted him down. Normally their utter faith in one another is a beautiful thing, but this time it wasn't. Especially when one considers that Usopp reflected they were only minutes too late to find him - if they'd gone when he'd first woken Luffy, they would have saved him. And it wouldn't even have ruined Sanji's plan, since Moult was already out in the open and already being defeated by the smoke.
Sanji's subtle quips about cigarettes was also good. "Those are bad for you, you know." "So sue me." and "people always told me secondhand smoke was bad for others, but right about now I'm glad for it."
Not to mention, I loved the line in which Sanji reflected that, ironically, the thing he'd been told countless times was going to kill him was also what was keeping him alive.
Sanji merging into a killer was gorgeous. I loved how you described him as 'Red-Leg Sanji', not as he was thinking it to himself, but as a name. And I was also impressed with how, despite already being dead, Moult still managed to kill the cook.
Luffy carefully putting Sanji's corpse against the trees was also a stunning scene. I felt sympathy for them, and making readers feel emotions is the mark of a good author.
| BlatantBookworm chapter 10 . 1/4/2015
Zoro's death scene continued after the death was splendid here. I liked how after he watched his nakama die, Sanji stopped calling him 'marimo' and reverted to using Zoro's name.
The sword-burying scene was also beautiful. I can so see Luffy wanting a marker, but Sanji methodically shooting down that suggestion by pointing out all it would do is alert the Scorpions.
For that matter, the reminder of Nami's potential massacre was also a nice paragraph. It made perfect sense for them to hide, afraid of what they might find if they reached her astral-grave.
I like Sanji's plan for killing Moult. It might be the first time Sanji ever (successfully) used a weapon, if you can count a cigarette as a weapon.
| BlatantBookworm chapter 9 . 1/4/2015
A healing doctor would be a dangerous opponent - of course, no match for Luffy. But I can see why Usopp decided to take him out.
When I first read it, I was certain that Usopp was dead (as mentioned before). Then Zoro stepped in and threw me for a loop. But I loved the power that the scene radiated, of Zoro with a fatal injury not faltering for a split second. For that matter, I also loved Usopp using the impact dial as a shield. I was somewhat disappointed it didn't get a chance as a weapon, but this scene was perfect as it was and would have been ruined if he had. And the unsportsmanlike kick by Sasori? I don't know why but it impressed me - not by the character but by the writer, proving again and again what lowlifes the antagonists were.
I also liked Sanji's fight. His assumption that it was mantra seemed accurate, and I enjoyed reading about Moult's confusion: "Mantra? Is that food?" And his power seems alarmingly dangerous once he describes it. A little like being rubber - one might think it was a stupid ability, until they nearly got killed by it. Smelling really good - to the point of being able to tell that Zoro had killed multiple times, long ago - is a terrifying ability.
Zoro's death scene was my favourite. I don't know why. Maybe because he was the only one who really got a chance to talk and understood what was happening (Robin came close but she lost her ability to talk rather soon. Also, it just feels stronger in Zoro's scene, watching him try to defend his nakama even when he knows he's dead). Zoro's death seemed the most final.
I liked watching Usopp lie and then give up almost immediately, acknowledging that Zoro was dying when the swordsman did. Of course, he was hysterical about it, which also seemed well in character. Watching Luffy have to hit him to calm him down was beautiful.
I also liked how Luffy took his bandana off for him, revealing just how well they could communicate without words. That was also made clear by their conversation, in which Luffy quietly reassured him that Zoro hadn't broken his promise.
Sanji's reaction was similarly beautiful. Even as Zoro bled out, they were still arguing - but you explained it perfectly, that they weren't being petty, that Zoro was taunting the cook to make him calm down. Sanji's misdirected anger at Zoro also seemed natural, exactly like how he would react. He was sort of blaming himself, because he'd probably resigned himself to dying next, and was shocked by the realisation it would have to be Zoro who left.
Not to mention, Sanji clearly understands Zoro, shown by the scene with the swords. It makes sense to me that Zoro's priority in death would be to have his swords safe from the filthy hands that killed him, especially since he knows the man who dealt the blow was the one who would use them. Watching Zoro deteriorate as he asked his last request was a pleasure to read, if also heart-wrenching and painful.
And then he just... 'faded'. And that was beautiful.
You ended the chapter brilliantly.