Reviews for Takamachi Nanoha of 2814
Ashen Author chapter 15 . 2/28/2014
I love that Usagi is completely immune to Negi's charm. That's love all right.
Cyberchao X chapter 17 . 2/11/2014
What is with Ryuus's activation key? So weird. Love Tomoyo's list.

Also love the Discworld reference. And, yeah, thanks to L-R romanization issues, "Diburel" actually works as a possible Japanese version of Dibbler.

...AngelGARd? labored.

Aw, yeah, Chiu-sama in the house! And in her sexy Biblion Roulan Rouge outfit, too. Damn she's awesome.

Just noticed that Satsuki doesn't even get quotation marks around her speech. Did Chao make a Transformer?

...Bwah! Scrubs and House references! I never really watched Scrubs, but House was one of my favorite series when it was on the air; directly inspired one of the more interesting arcs of Dream.

Evangeline is fighting off Vita with common furniture. Dayumn, Eva.

Ah, here's Fate..."Black Reaper-chan"? Meh...

Lyrical Grade Genocide! I love it! And now, we've got legitimate danmaku! Hopefully this means some more of my favorite death-lolis will be visiting eventually.

Yes! Yue is as awesome here as she is in canon. Valkyrie Black works just fine here. Extended Princess Bride references.

Huh; seems I already reviewed Chapter 16. Guess I got to the end of it on my mobile after all. Well, let's just keep rolling.

Nodoka's still surprisingly awesome. Also, Kaede is hilarious. And Arf IS sexy.

...Kotaro's crew is a bit underwhelming, though. Love Chachamaru casually conversing with her fellow units as she destroys them, especially 250, who suddenly becomes 024 with no warning. Liked the A.I. Love You reference.

Vita, you do realize what a lucky place you're in, don't you? And yet, Nanoha's still afraid of Evangeline.

Whoa. Ku Fei, that was brilliant!

I'm thinking Asuna is always absent when the action starts because her abilities are too powerful.

Not sure what I think of the constant Twilight-bashing. Not to mention your venom's aimed in the wrong place. Edward and Jacob aren't the problem with Twilight (okay, Edward is KIND OF the problem); BELLA is. Though I suppose that's the problem; it's a first-person story and the narrator is the worst character in the series.

Cyberchao X chapter 16 . 2/10/2014
Damn, Chiu's good. Love the "sibling" excuse they used to get the lovers together. I feel kinda bad for Vita...
Cyberchao X chapter 15 . 2/10/2014
Ouch. That's some wake-up call.

Ah, the Lieze sisters are here... Whoa. Infinity Library, complete with another Discworld reference and more Library Exploration Club.

...Mahoo dot com? And Chao's acting awfully DO realize she was never evil, right? Oh, wait, neither were theWolkenritter, not really...

...Chibi-usa? Okay, I'm not familiar enough with Sailor Moon, so I'll just go be confused.

Aha, so Green Lantern-chan can see through Superman's disguise. Of course; a search function. And now, schoolgirl superheroine Nanoha Takamachi gets to meet the Kent family. Heh, "friends don't call friends by their job", wasn't that originally Nanoha's line?

Ah! Saber! And now Negi's using his sex god powers on Evangeline!


More pancakes! These jokes are getting old, though.

Oh, Ring-chan...whoa, Yuuno! Yuuno got skills!

! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Takane's here, and she's making out with her ministras! And if she's here, that probably means she'll be naked before long!

I like Nanoha's new activation phrase. Ah, so, you noticed the hints at Asuna's true identity. ...Yeah, I didn't like the way that ship got sunk, but then again, there are so many other good ships involving Negi. Personally, I prefer shipping him with Chisame. Or Chachamaru...or Anya.
Cyberchao X chapter 14 . 2/9/2014
Hah, yeah, Konoka's healing magic is epic-level. Which is saying something as Raise Dead is only a 5th-level spell last I remembered. Love Eva shipping NanoFate.

Ah, yes, VAs in fanfictions. I actually had Suzuka point out that one of the more top-tier OCs (or at the very least, the top of tier 2) in Lonely No More sounded suspiciously like Arisa. I'm sure you could describe that character just from that bit of knowledge. (Original seiyuu, not dub VA.)

...Yep, you've got it. Short of body, long of hair, devoid of breasts, extremely tsundere. Actually, while she seems tsundere at first, she actually turns out to be more of a kuudere...with a reason for her "ice" side that always tends to lower the mood in the fanfic every time it shows up. I swear, Miki's storyline is 10 times more depressing than anything else in the entire fanfic. It involves adultery, yakuza, the murder of one parent and interrupting the other one's suicide attempt. AT AGE 6. I made an attempt at putting in a miniarc with a lesser-tier OC getting RAPED and it just came out narmful. Miki really deserves her own story.

Ah, Nanoha, you tease. I'm sure you'd love to marry Fate-chan. And NICE choice of breakfast foods; I tend to subtly include them in the 8th/9th chapter of just about any fic that reaches that length. (The reason for the ambiguity is because the original "pancake chapter" was Chapter 9 of a story where one of the Running Gags was the fact that Chapter 2 didn't exist, never had existed, and never would exist, a result of Chapter 1 being pulled from a dream I had one night-a rarity that a dream would have ABSOLUTELY NO CHARACTERS from either real life or established canons-and then, the very next night, I dreamed about THE EXACT SAME CHARACTERS, plus another one that hadn't been there the previous night, leaving some plot holes that led to that night's dreams forming the basis for Chapters 3 and 4, with the skip between the two nights' dreams being the unseen Chapter 2. Most of what would have happened in Chapter 2 is alluded to in future chapters, anyway. Anyway, in keeping with the "8/9" ambiguity, both Lonely No More and Waiting to Grow Up, as multi-chapter fics that essentially serve as sequels to one-shots, both pointedly have the reference in their eighth chapter, as due to the starting oneshot it could conceivably be viewed as the ninth as well as the eighth.)

Full list, chronologically:

Dream (later Dream: Book of Kurolanime) Chapter 9
Conn A&M Chapter 8 (which is located in the 9th slot because it has a Prologue)
God's Cry Chapter 9
Waiting to Grow Up Chapter 8 (had a preceding oneshot)
The Scarlet Devil Chapter 8 (has prologue)
Lonely No More Chapter 8 (had a preceding oneshot)

...Though sometimes the reference is not exactly "pure"...

Ah, never mind, it's just a weird dream by Fate. C'mon, Fate, you know you want to pierce the Hymen Lantern!

Oh, yay, Negi's gonna get revenge! And Rezombie!

Wah Iono!

Bah, this is all wrong; Nanoha's supposed to be madly in love with the girl with the beautiful sad eyes from the moment she meets her! Marry that hot blonde ass, damnit!

PANTY RAID! Hah, Ala Alba sees the sparks. Loli love is the purest love ever! ...Well, except maybe when the loli in question is Aurrorra Karin, because she's just a huge pervert who isn't above molesting her own sister for fanservice purposes-in a fic that otherwise frowns heavily on breaking the fourth wall.

Everybody! (Yeah...) Rock your body! (Yeah...) Everybody! Rock. Your. Bo-dy right. NEGI'S BACK, ALRIGHT! (...I just paraphrased a 90's boy band. Though in all fairness, I do have a younger sister currently in her early 20s-the perfect age to have been a fan of said groups.)

...Yes, Eva, you've been a very naughty little And Negi just gets them right back!
Cyberchao X chapter 12 . 2/9/2014
I love the dynamic between Tuxedo Kamen and Signum.

Looks like we found Chrono's Berserk Button, too. Speaking of which, Yuuno's STILL going by "Ferret Lantern"?

And speaking of rodents, Chamo's finally here! Perfect; we need his brand of perversion in a series so supple with magical girls. I like Negi's new identity, and sure enough, he attracts another female admirer.

Damnit stop breaking the fourth wall! You're not Durendell! Oh, genre savvy...


...Was Sailor Moon really THAT ridiculous? Speaking of ridiculous, what's with Arf? And Zafira's just running with it...

Yay! "Godzilla" is a species here! ...Can I get a Zom-Zom appearance? Wait, they're using Hayate as a God substitute?

...Don't worry, Negi; they're not important to your series.

Ah, Fate, you're so possessive. Go Neon Genesis Evangeline A.K. McDowell!

...Lucky you; I'm trying to settle down for the night so I'll probably be switching to a mobile device, which means super-terse reviews.
Cyberchao X chapter 13 . 2/9/2014
Oh, that was MUCH purpler than Twilight...I think. I honestly don't even remember the purpleness, though I do remember being happier in the section of Breaking Dawn that Jacob narrated. Anyway, Vita's purplosity is quite impressive, and I wish her luck in her mission to tap that ass so hard that only Saber can remove her.
Cyberchao X chapter 11 . 2/9/2014
First Church of the Cherry Blossom? I like it. Also Power Rangers and Ghostbusters are here, and Bruce Wayne wants no part of Mahora.

Ah, poor Negi...I really hope he gets to reclaim his masculinity soon.

And poor Wolkenritter, having had to go against Tomoyo. What's with this Signum/Yuuno ship tease? Is EVERYONE loli/shotacon now? Although personally, I think the Superman/Green Lantern-chan ship is adorable.

Ah, so in this verse Suzuka and Alisa are related to Tomoyo and Ayaka, respectively! As the only two members of the MSLN canon with any significant screentime in LNM, I'm always quite interested in what they're up to. Wait, BRAINBLAST! I think I've just figured out how to do Chapter 48 of LNM! Thanks, Shadow-...kun. Had to check the gender, since, you know, All Fanfiction Writers Are Female. Actually, it doesn't really matter, because you're clearly my superior in the field of fanfiction writing and thereby deserve a "-sama", if not maybe even a "-sensei". (Although right now the position of "-sensei" for my MSLN work belongs to Major Mike Powell III-not that I'd actually use that title what with his military theme. I guess he's my CO?) I make the immediate correction because I'm STILL writing it out as I go and don't want to be inconsistent with how I signed your guestbook. (Thanks for bequeathing my home state to someone claiming to be the Queen of Yuri, by the way, even if said claim IS potholed to "Blatant Lies".) Wait, no, Alisa, the crazy lolicons and shotacons want yooouuuuuuuuuuuuu! Wait...


...ANOTHER BRAINBLAST! Screw the FictionPress "sequel"/spin-off; I've got a StrikerS-centric sequel idea!

...Dayumn, Vita, that was smooth.

...And then you lost it, orgasming over ice cream. I think I'll tell Hayate about this...I'm sure it'll give her some nice ideas. Though they'll be totally-not-Freudian-at-all, I'm sure.

Those are some damn weird names. Crazy Shy Lolita Canary, Shiny Happy Aquazon, Big Atomic Battery Boy, Well-Spoken Sonic Lightning Flash, Most Excellent Super-Bat...heheh. Just looked these guys up on TV Tropes, and it turns out Battery Boy was originally LANTERN Boy...guess that had to be changed here?

Aw, poor broken Nanoha-chan...or Lantern-chan, as the case may be. It still seems so weird, referring to her exclusively as "Green Lantern". Ahaha Paru's codename invokes that of Light Yagami. Who of course can't appear here because we've already got a dominant Yagami...heh? What's with that shiver, Vita-chan? Was it something I said? *grins madly*

Poor Uranus, totally getting owned by Lamia-I mean Signum. Poor Pluto, too, with her signature planet getting demoted to "Kuiper Belt Object".


Yeah, if Illya and Miyu can impress Nanoha, they must be doing something right. Also, Tomoyo as Token Evil Teammate makes for some powerful forces from all parts of the alignment spectrum ending up on the heroes' side.

Ah, bath-lovers. Sekiya had a truly epic love of baths. Damn, I miss working on that story...

...Batman as a Berserker-class Servant? Even given his vengeance-fueled origins, I can't see the ultimate master of preparedness as a Berserker. Though that begs the question of what class he WOULD fit into...maybe Archer? Yeah, that I can see. Batman-Archer. Supes might make a good Berserker, though.
Cyberchao X chapter 10 . 2/9/2014
*spit take* That's some list. Nostalgic, too; both Alex Mack and Animorphs were some of my childhood favorites.

Oh, my, Tomoyo is quite dangerous. Also, damn you for making this fic so addictive; I've been on the computer all day and it's probably bad for my eyes, but I just can't stop! Although, Tomoyo's got a point regarding Sakura-con. Can't approve of your choice to use the dub name for Syaoran, though, especially with you not doing so for Tomoyo. Or was that a conscious decision in order to differentiate him from his TRC incarnation? I have to admit I gave up on TRC after awhile; it was just too confusing.

Okay, no, that's all wrong. Telling them that their surrender is not accepted and would you please remain a bit more hostile so I can obliterate you is bad form, Tomoyo-chan.

Shinmeiryu? Seriously, Tomoyo? Wow...

Ah, yes, very hypocritical. "Homoerotic obsession with someone beyond the limits of humanity, attempting to bring them down to their level of vulgarity" indeed. She'd make a fine Kuro, that girl would.

*spit take again* Nice job playing the helpless bystander, Tomoyo.

Okay, I'm starting to like Tomoyo now. Nicely developing, soft and squishy bosom; I love it. And she can even put THE GODDAMNDED BATMAN in his place! ...And then she's talking to Tsukuyomi that way. You'll make me...cry. ...Though that scene was pretty cool.

Damn, Tomoyo, you're such a troll. Ragging on him in his civilian identity? Love the bio, though.
Cyberchao X chapter 9 . 2/9/2014
The first, of course, is ransom notes. I LOVE IT.

Yeah, Negi really is a workaholic. Ah, was that a Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya reference? It's been awhile since I've read that series so I'd forgotten. Ah, poor Negi...this joke refuses to end.

Yeah, Rakan really is super overpowered. And this IS a shonen fighting series crossed over with a magical girl show mixed with those American comic books!

Okay, yeah, I get the Saber/Signum comparison. Who are the other three? And what IS a poozer? ...Oh, right, the colors are all weird because it's Lanterns.

"What's a virgin?" Don't worry about it, Nanoha; they're quite unimportant to your series.

Yeah, it's true; Hayate and Negi are a bit alike, although Hayate's much more perverted. Ah, yes, that's right; the one thing that A's does better than StrikerS is Hayate x Vita. And man, is Hayate ever good at telling Vita EXACTLY what she wants from her.

Ah, Kuro...must be something in the name; my little darkness youkai was just as perverted.

Gah, what happened to Nanoha's outfit? Can I see? Leather Nanoha please?

...Ring-chan, you're so bad. Although, Raging Heart's just a sphere, isn't it? ...ah, I guess when in battle mode, it does look kind of phallic. I think of the devices themselves being the inactive forms-Raging Heart's red sphere; Bardiche's yellow triangle, etc.
Cyberchao X chapter 8 . 2/9/2014
Ha, I THOUGHT I saw Omamori Himari references in there! (Yeah, I know; still taking care of stuff I missed last chapter).

Speaking of stuff I missed, I loved the bit where Nanoha's thinking about typical magical girl duties and she's not even remotely interested in boys.

...Asuna, on the other hand, is still far too interested in grown-ups. Although I suppose subconsciously that might be because she's actually a lot older than she appears.

Ah, yes, Nanoha and Fate's reunion. Such a sweet moment. In my personal headcanon, Nanoha fell in love with Fate the moment she first laid eyes on her.

Yeah, you'd think Negi would know not to underestimate the lolis...

...Oh, Paru. Never fails to make a situation crazy. Poor Sakura...wait wtf Haruna's measuring things in Kilonazis! Awesome! Wait, she broke the fourth wall! Glad Sakura realizes how evil the Internet is...especially since she seems to be the focal point for its lolicons. Damn, there had better be some Tsunami Channel references in here; it's far too rarely that we get an all-animated Celebrity Paradox (as in, not relying on the paradox between the characters and their VAs, since Cardcaptor Sakura is in no uncertain terms every bit the fictional show in ExCoKo that it is in our world.)

That's BRILLIANT. Clark Kent's simple disguise works because it's actually from the Magical World. Except not because Supes isn't a big fan of magic.

Wait, since when has jealousy been orange? It's green, isn't it?

...Wait, damn, Nanoha mistook Negi for a girl? It's official: Negi's girl magnetism knows NO BOUNDS. Faced with someone with absolutely zero interest in boys, he ended up accidentally making her think he was a girl. Even Tuxedo Mask gets in on the teasing...and Usagi doesn't get it.

Zafira, stop that.

Poor Negi...

...Poor SAKURA. I don't like your Tomoyo; she's evil.

Nice omake. You're awesome as always.
Cyberchao X chapter 7 . 2/9/2014
Loved the Discworld reference. And the comment about shotacon schoolgirls and a Welsh 10-year-old. Still, shouldn't the world be more worried about such a clearly immature superhero?

Haha TH3 references. The canon MSLN pretty much tried to cover up the incestuous bits, didn't it?

Raising-I mean, Raging Heart's a bad influence on Ring-chan, I think. Or is that Nanoha herself? I know that it's generally accepted that Nanoha's kind of bloodthirsty but her device is even more so. (And truthfully, I agree with you that Raging Heart sounds better.) Putting the ring on her middle finger is a nice touch.

Oh, yay, it's the start of A's! You could argue that it's one of the best seasons, although I actually prefer both the original series (because it's more fanservicey) and StrikerS (because of all of the great characters it introduced. Still, technically speaking, if the MSLN section was split into sections for each series, Lonely No More would be classified as an A's fic-though ironically, the fic that it's a sequel to would be classified as a StrikerS fic, since its "present day" is in the StrikerS timeframe and LNM pretty much exists to bridge the gap between its flashback and present-day sections.

*does some quick calculations...okay, maybe not so quick* It feels like LNM should single-handedly make MSLN my "dominant fandom". It doesn't, thanks in large part to the three-headed monster of TSD/TAoT9C/TSD2:SDR. Those three fics alone plus the two Phantasms that made the grade for this site are over 100K-although it should still be noted that without the two Yukkuri-fics, it would take counting the full word count of my Touhou/Disgaea crossover towards Touhou's word count to just barely put it over MSLN.

...Oh, right, back to the fic I'm reviewing. Wait, did we just get a "How Dare You Die On Me" moment from a pair of Intelligent Devices? (well, one Intelligent Device by the series' canon and one crossover artifact of similar nature) That is just too much.

Speaking of "too much", you're officially the second author to ever make me open up a Notepad document to start composing my reviews as I read because there's so much to comment on that I'm afraid of forgetting some of it by the time I reach the end. Congratulations.
Cyberchao X chapter 6 . 2/9/2014
Wow. This was awesome. Nanoha's a bit more knowledgeable this time than she was in canon. I love how all of the bodyguards seem to be Naruto characters, even though they're so out of place here-and I'm not even a huge Naruto fan! Although recently I started thinking that maybe I should've tried a bit harder to keep up with it, because it was actually pretty good.
Cyberchao X chapter 5 . 2/9/2014
Oh G-d Evangeline broke her. I didn't think I'd ever see anything be able to do that to Nanoha...and, yeah, I can imagine Superman would probably get a bit exasperated with a 10-year-old girl Green Lantern. Although I'm sure it'll be even funnier when it's Batman instead of Superman.
Cyberchao X chapter 4 . 2/9/2014
This is just too epic. I love all of this crossover energy.
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