Reviews for A Mirror Never Lies
carsatan chapter 1 . 11/22/2012
Blah chapter 4 . 11/18/2012
wait she had sex with her father?
PrincessFluffington chapter 4 . 11/2/2012
Nyet I refuse this ending! Why did he has to leave her WHY
Jasper4Life chapter 1 . 10/26/2012
I loved this story...The ending was a bit sad but what you did write, that was very good :)
Phantom of the Night 117 chapter 4 . 8/16/2012
1:] This was an awesome fucking story! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Yeah there were typoes but I don't give a rats ass, unlike someone that's going on my RL! ...
[2:] I almost cryed at the end... And was that James fucking Sunderland!? You are awesome! XD
[3:] There has to be more-will there be more-tell me there is more-SAY YES OR I WILL FLIP THE HELL OUT!
Well... I just wanted to say that this was a great story to me and I hope you will make a sequel. :]
OH! And Pyramid Head says: “HI!” X3
JanThai09176 chapter 4 . 8/13/2012
HOLY SHIT! That goddamn pyramid head is ACTUALLY JAMES SUNDERLAND! WTF!
Time Materia chapter 4 . 7/14/2012

I LOVE HEATHER AND this made me really happy.
grimmy lover chapter 4 . 10/16/2011
Awesome awesome awesome love it :D
Sora Kuraiika chapter 1 . 7/27/2011
Okay, first off the bat: Beige prose. It's annoying.

Second, why would someone look at a fan and think dehumanization? Where's the connection?

Third, typos, that kinda pull you out of the story. Like Silent Hill not being capitalized, or no commas where there should be commas, or even a dash! Or sentences not ending with the proper punctuation. Or even basic spelling! "Right" is not spelled "rite", "rite" is a completely different word with a completely different meaning!

Fourth, "Was her vagina getting wet again?"

What. The. FUCK!

What on earth makes you think that anyone could be aroused in Silent Hill? Not even the most extreme masochist in the world could be aroused by it, much less a frightened teenage girl!

Fifth, "pyramid helmet": Pyramid is not a verb.

Sixth, if something is even a few centimeters into the skin, it is a deep cut that is extremely painful. Two inches into the skin and muscle, stopping just near a bone, and a very rusty blade at that?

Heather should be close to passing out from pain. And yet all she wants to do is have sex with the thing that is clearly a monster, that very clearly is in the process of raping her, in a place that clearly wants her dead, whil horrible demons that clearly also want to kill her are being attracted by the screams and moans and swarm to the door to attack it.

Seventh, like I said, Heather should be in extreme pain from the blade wound, but it is mention only breifly in passing, as if it's not important. But having her cherry popped, why that's much more painful than having a rusty knife embedded into your flesh, let's have her focus on that pain instead. Yeah.

How much proofreading did you do? How many people read this? How many things did someone, ANYONE point out that made no sense?

Finally, did you ever, emotionally try to put yourself in Heather's shoes and try to imagine how she would react? I can't speak for you, maybe you like the idea when it's taken out of context and would love to be in her place. But, did you ever stop to think that the average person wouldn't react the way she did: that they would instead start crying and screaming in agony instead of pleasure? That they don't react to being attacked and raped by a monster with enthusiasm, or consider it "the happiest [they] had felt in a while?"

Because if so, there is no excuse for this tripe.
XxZOmBIEUNIcORNxX chapter 4 . 7/25/2011
ok i wanted to cry so badly at the end of this i just want them bak together. uughh i never thought of them as a couple but from now on thats going to be my FAVORITE couple! nice story loved it thanks
The Hateocracy chapter 4 . 5/19/2011
The Hateocracy chapter 2 . 5/19/2011
that was awsome
PearlDahlia chapter 4 . 12/4/2010
:'( I cried when she had to leave
PearlDahlia chapter 1 . 12/3/2010
NikkiSpotty chapter 3 . 8/8/2010
Damn. I was excited to see a story that had 15,000 words but after struggling through the first chapter, I just skimmed the last two chapters.

Running this through a spell check machine would have been immensely useful as would have breaking up your paragraphs as needed. The chunks of text are kind of distracting in an odd way and lack the flow they should have. A paragraph is described as being five sentences or so but that's not always the case. When a subject changes or a character talks, starting a new paragraph is advised.

The writing also is sort of bland. You do have some good descriptions of things, in particular the first few times you talked about the SH world and how it appeared, but it was still lacking.

Promise is quite visible but you still need some work to make everything run smoothly. Also, if you find the work of revising too tedious, I suggest finding a beta reader. Livejournal has many wonderful groups to help out with this purpose so don't be frightened to lurk there a bit before applying and posting.
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