|Reviews for Breaking and Entering|
| Illayne chapter 6 . 10/13/2011
Yipee, more Kimmy! :)
The answers to your quiestions:
Yup, I think you are keeping Kimmuriel in character. He is the way I imagined him from RAS' books.
M-rating... Hmm, not sure. I have nothing against M rated stories in general (read quite a number of them, ha-ha), but... I sort of don't think it fits with this particular story. Maybe it's be best if you just implied things. Can't really say without seeing it written, though. It doesn't seem to fit with the story as it is now, but then I don't know what you had planned. Just a suggestion - why don't you write bothand keep them both a sort of - end A. and end B. Your choice, anyway. Just post it soon. ;)
| Organization13Lover chapter 5 . 7/26/2011
i looove this story, thanks for the update! the romance was soo cute, i cant wait for the next chapter :D
| artyz chapter 5 . 7/26/2011
I really enjoyed reading your fanfic and I can't wait to see next chapter)
i think for Kimm it is better to sleep with her as soon as possible)). First of all, Nadi is occupying his thoughts all the time, when he must have his mind clear as psyonic. Otherwise, he might become vulnerable for sudden attacks). And second, in drow opinion, he is weakling if he can't harm her and take what he wants. I hope no one in Bregan d'aerth will find out that their commander has kind heart)
| Yulandia chapter 5 . 7/22/2011
WOOOOOT! OMG You updated! CLEARLY I need to check my email more often! Oh and hey jsut apologizing in advance for all the typos coming your way right now! :)
ahhh Kimmuriel... Part of me feels a bit sorry for him for losing control of his thoughts and dreams, but is he really? :) Nadina's subconscious spoke to her through her drawings. It seems to me that his subconscious merely removed the filters it no longer perceived as necessary, so now he gets to deal wiht all the wonderful circling thoughts from both thier confused heads.
I really liked how this chapter focused mainly on his thoughts and perceptions this time, and how he kinda came to grips with the possibility of half-drow children as a form of triumph. Hmmm so losing one's family as part of 'the drow way' truly wasn't OK wiht him. He was angered. Hehe did he give any thought to HOW she would raise the children? I would imagine Lolth would play no part in her parenting whatsoever. Neither would whippings or torture, or a priestess nanny. HA! I also imagine that Kimmuriel would likely be secretly pleased by this as well – to refuse another 'drow way' that brought him unhappiness as a child. And that Jarlaxle would actually support him in this. Or even be envious? Hmmm.
Your focus on his perceptions is great. Kimmuriel's abilities are a natural part of him, yet so rarely come into play in literature. Maybe because he usually appears with Jarlaxle, who has magical defenses against them. I like how you include them here and how they are used incidentally throughout the day and at different levels – from full thought gathering to physical feelings or surface impressions. His abilities give him the unique ability to navigate his movements, actions and words very carefully in this relationship.
It was good to see them working extremely together well, and it was nice that they both seems to enjoy the productive time together.
It would be neat to see more of her impressions of these few days together. She knows he reads her thoughts. And that any thought is fair game. So will she try to walk on eggshells from now on? Everyone BUT Kimmuriel relies on verbal communication a great deal. I'm thinking she is going to have to ask for answers or confirmations from him if she wants to know something – making herself vulnerable by putting her fears out there – still not thinking that he already knows what those fears are.
I like how he kissed Nadina while she was sleeping. It's a first step in his acceptance of his feelings and thoughts. Satisfying curiosity without the possibility of rejection or (perhaps worse?) disgust from her.
And now that he's kissed her again and she's completely confused, I'm really curious how's she's handling the whirlwind of confusion and feelings, both emotional and physical! It made me smile that Kimmuriel thought it went well. Indeed. She didn't slug him across the face. No drow backlash. It seems his chances with her are still good! :)
This is great! Please-o-please keep it coming! :D
| Kanokirri chapter 5 . 7/19/2011
I'm enjoying this so far, you're very talented in your writing and I can see this going pretty far. One thing though, you keep changing your tenses -you go from a storytellers view, past tense to a present tense a few times. This whole thing so far has been in third person omniscient, meaning you as the author know everything that's going on. You need to keep it consistent so people don't get lost. An example is how you started chapter 5 with 'tonight, Kimmuriel" Because the story is mostly past tense, it should be something like "This night, Kimmuriel" But other than that this is a wonderful read and I'm looking forward for more. Happy writing!
| A Ninny Mouse chapter 5 . 7/17/2011
Aww, Kimmuriel is thinking naughty thoughts! Shame on him!
I loved the kiss though. A little bit tacky, what with whole 'in a storeroom' thing, but with enough of a mix of emotions, descriptions, and foreshadowing, with the kiss while Nadina was asleep, to make it not seem totally cliche. And wow, that is a really long sentence.
And Kimmuriel was reading her thoughts again. Bad Kimmuriel! Haha, I just got a flash of Nadina somehow punishing him for that, like with a practical joke or something. My personal favorite prank is short-sheeting a bed. Let's see some Happy Kimmuriel!
Just some more suggestions, if you feel like using them Thanks for the shout out, it really means a lot!
| A Ninny Mouse chapter 4 . 7/15/2011
Yaaaaay! You updated and made my day! I love how this is progressing slowly, and I kept thinking back to that scene with Kimmuriel and Nadina holding hands. It was a really neat mix of emotions.
I also love the way Kimmuriel listens to her thoughts to find her wondering about kids and how she's pretty much a virgin for life.
Wait, is she a virgin? THAT would be interesting, Kimmuriel listening to her thoughts and finding her thinking of a past lover, or boyfriend, or something.
I think it would be kind of interesting if, as they grow closer, Nadina maybe starts getting flashes of what Kimmuriel is thinking while he reads her mind.
Well, it's your story, do what you will with it, as long as you UPDATE!
| Mog chapter 4 . 6/3/2011
| elvenlemonade chapter 4 . 5/15/2011
I was afraid you abandoned your fic and that we, readers, will never see an update. So, needless to say how happy I was to see new chapter?
Anyway, keep writing))
| danoman66 chapter 4 . 5/10/2011
Think you are doing a great job with this. I find it very funny to see Kimmuriel all confused. Keep up the good work and I'll keep reading.
| san-san chapter 4 . 5/10/2011
WOOOOOT! TY! TY! TY! :)))) *HUGS*
I love it! I love your use of the ideas. :) This is great. I like how her lettering became Kimmuriel's face over and over and how she sketched things that were important to her.. and Kimmuriel's reaction to the sketches. Nice details from the characters' thoughts about how they were each undesirable to thier own races now (with Kimmuriel's fallen house and her new "look" - hey does that fade over time and need to be refreshed? Or is it permanent? Would she refresh it?).
And he's dumbstruck. I believe this to be a very 'logical' outcome for someone who's nature is to at least appear without emotion, and who has already long accepted that he's not desirable by other drow females. TO know you are not desirable, and then to find out someone is attracted to you? *whew* Suddenly his path has so many other possibilities and he can further ponder all the thoughts he was picking up from her - at least in his head. It's good that he's not too terribly interested in the rumors and opinions of others though, cuz the intense racism and importance of status are very much in the forefront of drow society. I can't even imagine all the horrors he would face for OPENLY choosing a human mate. Could he even choose to face that? I think that ONLY Jarlaxle would be in his corner if he chose to do so. As for Nadina, poor thing, she still doesn't fully comprehend the world she was thrust into. Will Kimmuriel explain it to her? Lay out all the horrors matter-of-factly? I wonder how her feelings about it will affect him. Would he fear her pity? I imagine a little part of her would want to comfort him. Would he be surprised?
Again you left my head spinning! I very much appreciate the slow pace and the details. Both characters are in a very difficult situation and the cultural obstacles each has to overcome to ever end up together in a romance story are HUGE. If the baby steps are scary to one of them, they might actually choose to take some leaps together. OMG! I'm so excited! :D
Please Keep Writing! :))))
| Lemonwizard chapter 4 . 5/7/2011
Love how this is progressing. Please keep going, this is a really great story!
| silver yoko kitsune chapter 3 . 11/3/2010
I think its a great story. I'm glad to see some more kimmuriel fan fiction
| san-san chapter 3 . 9/30/2010
Soooo my mind has been spinning with ideas and possibilities for a few days since I read your story. I keep coming back to it. I really like the scenes with the hands. While the contact is brief, it is meaningful and sensual at the same time. Would her musing about half-drow children worry him? Embarras him? Frighten him? Would it get him thinking of his childhood? WOuld he fear for such a child? Or would he be repulsed? I also wonder more about Nadina. What did she do in her free time on the surface? Besides train of course (she's going to have to find someone to spar with, or she will lose her edge...). Perhaps Kimmuriel might happen upon her (or tap in from a distance) only to find her singing? Sketching? Or perhaps the agile warrioress was dancing? Or remembering a dance? Not far fetched for one of noble blood living in the palace. I'm sure Kimmuriel has piles of parchement and coal for sketching... What is he happened upon a few sketches of himself? How would he react? Does he have things he likes to do? Does he enjoy music? It can be very meditative...I don't recall much in the way of music in drow society (except maybe religious chanting). Please drop some more details of her past and some parallels (or stark contrasts) in his that make them more curious about each other. No pressure. :) Really none at all. Please write another chapter soon :)
| san-san chapter 3 . 9/27/2010
ooo I really like this - Kimmuriel is such a different character, seemingly without all the tyical drow bravado and testosterone poisoning. He doesn't threaten to intimidate and seems genuinely curious as to how this whole plan of Jarlaxle's will unfold. I like how you have him examine his own impressions and feelings as well. Kinda reminds me of Mr Spock in a way. So much mental discipline, and yet sometimes that isn't enough to contain the flood of emotions when they come. It would be interesting if he opens up to her. How would she feel about him when she knows more about his upbringing and how different he truly is from ohther drow. How lucky she is. Please keep writing this story :D