Reviews for Breaking and Entering
danoman66 chapter 4 . 5/10/2011
Think you are doing a great job with this. I find it very funny to see Kimmuriel all confused. Keep up the good work and I'll keep reading.
san-san chapter 4 . 5/10/2011
WOOOOOT! TY! TY! TY! :)))) *HUGS*

I love it! I love your use of the ideas. :) This is great. I like how her lettering became Kimmuriel's face over and over and how she sketched things that were important to her.. and Kimmuriel's reaction to the sketches. Nice details from the characters' thoughts about how they were each undesirable to thier own races now (with Kimmuriel's fallen house and her new "look" - hey does that fade over time and need to be refreshed? Or is it permanent? Would she refresh it?).

And he's dumbstruck. I believe this to be a very 'logical' outcome for someone who's nature is to at least appear without emotion, and who has already long accepted that he's not desirable by other drow females. TO know you are not desirable, and then to find out someone is attracted to you? *whew* Suddenly his path has so many other possibilities and he can further ponder all the thoughts he was picking up from her - at least in his head. It's good that he's not too terribly interested in the rumors and opinions of others though, cuz the intense racism and importance of status are very much in the forefront of drow society. I can't even imagine all the horrors he would face for OPENLY choosing a human mate. Could he even choose to face that? I think that ONLY Jarlaxle would be in his corner if he chose to do so. As for Nadina, poor thing, she still doesn't fully comprehend the world she was thrust into. Will Kimmuriel explain it to her? Lay out all the horrors matter-of-factly? I wonder how her feelings about it will affect him. Would he fear her pity? I imagine a little part of her would want to comfort him. Would he be surprised?

Again you left my head spinning! I very much appreciate the slow pace and the details. Both characters are in a very difficult situation and the cultural obstacles each has to overcome to ever end up together in a romance story are HUGE. If the baby steps are scary to one of them, they might actually choose to take some leaps together. OMG! I'm so excited! :D

Please Keep Writing! :))))
Lemonwizard chapter 4 . 5/7/2011
Love how this is progressing. Please keep going, this is a really great story!
silver yoko kitsune chapter 3 . 11/3/2010
I think its a great story. I'm glad to see some more kimmuriel fan fiction
san-san chapter 3 . 9/30/2010
Soooo my mind has been spinning with ideas and possibilities for a few days since I read your story. I keep coming back to it. I really like the scenes with the hands. While the contact is brief, it is meaningful and sensual at the same time. Would her musing about half-drow children worry him? Embarras him? Frighten him? Would it get him thinking of his childhood? WOuld he fear for such a child? Or would he be repulsed? I also wonder more about Nadina. What did she do in her free time on the surface? Besides train of course (she's going to have to find someone to spar with, or she will lose her edge...). Perhaps Kimmuriel might happen upon her (or tap in from a distance) only to find her singing? Sketching? Or perhaps the agile warrioress was dancing? Or remembering a dance? Not far fetched for one of noble blood living in the palace. I'm sure Kimmuriel has piles of parchement and coal for sketching... What is he happened upon a few sketches of himself? How would he react? Does he have things he likes to do? Does he enjoy music? It can be very meditative...I don't recall much in the way of music in drow society (except maybe religious chanting). Please drop some more details of her past and some parallels (or stark contrasts) in his that make them more curious about each other. No pressure. :) Really none at all. Please write another chapter soon :)
san-san chapter 3 . 9/27/2010
ooo I really like this - Kimmuriel is such a different character, seemingly without all the tyical drow bravado and testosterone poisoning. He doesn't threaten to intimidate and seems genuinely curious as to how this whole plan of Jarlaxle's will unfold. I like how you have him examine his own impressions and feelings as well. Kinda reminds me of Mr Spock in a way. So much mental discipline, and yet sometimes that isn't enough to contain the flood of emotions when they come. It would be interesting if he opens up to her. How would she feel about him when she knows more about his upbringing and how different he truly is from ohther drow. How lucky she is. Please keep writing this story :D
Huntress Dream chapter 3 . 8/28/2010
i waitin for the irony of that statement
Alameda Green chapter 3 . 7/28/2010
Excellent, excellent. I'm really liking where this story is going, and I like that Kimmuriel isn't suddenly dissolving into a puddle of mush- he keeps his composure and it makes it all the more believable.

Also, you build tension nicely- there were at least two moments where I was thinking "OMFG FUCK ALREADY!". Good thing I didn't yell that out loud seeing as how I am at work...

Still, keep up the excellent work, and I look forward to your updates.

Sincerely yours,

Bre
Alameda Green chapter 2 . 7/8/2010
Fantastic. You sell yourself short, ma'am- you're very talented.

I didn't feel like Kimmuriel ever went out of character, neither he nor Jarlaxle. Felt it was perfectly captured, and while I admit when I first read the whole human-to-drow transition, I was a little concerned that it was going to move into cliche territory, but you gracefully maneuvered out of that. Brava.

Don't keep us waiting long for a new chapter!
Huntress Dream chapter 1 . 7/4/2010
llai
Ashley chapter 1 . 7/4/2010
I personally didn't find Kimmuriel out of character. - really enjoyed the chapter so much that I actually risked my eyesight reading the story from my Blackberry! I hope you will continue the story and update soon! I'm looking forward to seeing where this plot leads.
Surreptitious Chi X chapter 1 . 7/2/2010
You need to continue this. I really want to know what happens next. It's an interesting story premise, the background of the kingdom and Jarlaxle's role in enforcing a sucky treaty. I think Jarlaxle is very much in character. Kimmuriel doesn't have as much of a demonstrated character except to hate humans and be easily moved by an equally racist friend to do bad things. We don't see Kimmuriel's actions independent of others. He really does seem to be pushed around. This is a romance story, so I assume the point is to get Kimmuriel to feel soft and cuddly emotions. I'm interested in how you might accomplish that.
NuttyNuggets chapter 1 . 7/1/2010
Actually it's not too ooc compared to a LOT of stories. Thanks for making the effort!

The only problem I have is that Kimmuriel doesn't carry a sword, but creates a green glowing one made of psionic energy (he did this in Servant of the Shard) that just appears in his hand. Please edit your story to accomodate this important detail. :D
alicelouise58 chapter 1 . 7/1/2010
Good start to a story. Usually, this type of story is man with a kilt. Look forward to more chapters
44 | « Prev Page 1 .. 3