|Reviews for Blood Stained Roses|
| vampire.lover458 chapter 10 . 12/9/2010
Ello Can i ask u a question? Cool (lol) Rite how do u say 'Alyssa'? I can't say it its hard i always end up saying 'Alisha' dunt ask why i just do cuz it looks like the way u say it. Just help me out here.
Aww Adien can't stop thinking about her so cute. Kate sounds better then Lyn (However u spell it) Why u ask? :)
Please update soon. Please.
| SejiADettswic chapter 10 . 12/8/2010
stay evan, kate for kaitlyn
nice chap, i laugh
| arianaconstantina chapter 9 . 12/5/2010
OMG OMG OMG i luv this story so much! and what u said is so true about the agents of secret stuff! u will go crazy and act like a ninga! lol good times... hahahahaha
| x Red Blood Lies Love x chapter 9 . 12/5/2010
Woop! u updated. This chapter was good hope Adiens in the next :D I have watched all thoose things they watched they r funny! Update soon. xx
- Jezaline-Fury xxxxx
| vampire.lover458 chapter 9 . 12/5/2010
Ello its me! This chapter eas randomm i must say but all well hehe annoying orange is funny :D can't wait for things to get better og btw can u read ma fanfic i wanna know wat u think! UPDATE SOON! hehe x
| x Red Blood Lies Love x chapter 8 . 12/5/2010
Cool! i love it please update soon xx Its Amazing so far but why did Adien want her blood in chapter 3? Is it chapter 3? -shrugs- All well update soon. xxx
- Jezaline-Fury xxxxx
| vampire.lover458 chapter 7 . 12/4/2010
UPDATE NOW! I NEED TO KNOW MORE! lol told ya i would put tht.
| vampire.lover458 chapter 8 . 12/4/2010
Holy cow! u update yay! lol. Yes i will keep reviewing until theres another chapter. Awww Adien is so in love wiv her thats cute.
Update soon and FAST! I thought u abandnoned this storie if u did i would find out where u live and strangle u until u update lol im jokeing im not a physco.
| vampire.lover458 chapter 6 . 12/3/2010
WHY THE HELL DID U STOP!I love this its amazing super cool!
Justin Bieber isnt that bad! i like him a bit. My mate is obssed about him. When they were talking about him was funny cuz my who is obssed about him kinda said that she said: “Who is this girl singing?” and my other mate said “Its a boy” so funny actually she use to like Jonas brothers before moveing on to justin bieber weird.
Update soon please dont forget this fanfic or i will review every chpter say “UPDATE NOW! PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW MORE!” The same words all the time.
| delete me plz1 chapter 6 . 7/29/2010
wow,similar stories for 2 tangled ppl. i like it!
| SejiADettswic chapter 5 . 7/26/2010
you've seen the last airbendr havn't you?
| Queen Of Dead Hearts chapter 3 . 7/20/2010
ok i stopped halfway through because I have a lot more comments. First off, 'O' is supposed to be "Oh" sorry but that bugged me. Second, change the name Edward please, it makes me think of Cullen. Thirdly, I don't get why he liked malled her. I think it's going to fast. Once again I shall make a refrence to Prince Of Blood. Not trying to say that my storie's perfect but I'm actually going back from chapter one of Prince Of Blood and fixing each chapter since my writing has improved greatly. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that I tried to take it slow in that story. For example, I made Austin and Becca just friends for the beginning. It takes time to build an actual relationship and normal people just don't go around making out with people they just meet. I waited until chapter 15 before I had them kiss. And before that they were friends for ten years. All I'm trying to say is that it seems unnatural. They should hve an actual relationship first. Maybe even have them have a bit orf a rviarly at first . . . and then slowly changes into a love/hate relationship. Those are always interesting. Another thing is that the conversations are choppy. They need to flow better. Next, Alyssa needs a solid personality arcehtype. An arcehtype is the basic structure of a character. The hero, the unwilling hero, the temptress, the waif, the villian, the witch, the inocent, the mother figure are all examples of archetypes. Now, you can't make a character fit strictly into these categories because then they become boring and redictabel. But they do need a basic structure. I'm going to PM you some links to some great archetypes websites that haelped with characterization. Again, I hope I don't come off as a bitch
| Queen Of Dead Hearts chapter 2 . 7/20/2010
Another tip, use more freaky language in the prophecy. Like when I did the prophecy for Prince Of Blood it was all very wordy. Like instead of calling them Vampires I called them "Partakes of the immortal drink" I suggest something like "Members of the house of blood drinkers" for yours. Also, instead of humans I called them "Ignorant Souls." Another thing is that the Aidan also describes himself an awful lot. For the first chapter in his POV it should be like a kind of poemy train of thought that doesn't discuss his problems at all. And then maybe have him a conversation with someone in a later chapter and discuss some of his issues then. But in more of a less desciptive way. I just think it would sound more natural way. I hope I don't sound bitchy or hurt your feelings anything, that's not what I'm trying to do. I'm just trying to give you some constructive cristiscm. I did the same for that story I read by your friend . . .Hope I'm actually helping you too
| Queen Of Dead Hearts chapter 1 . 7/20/2010
interesting start . . . Attempting to be helpful and honest, I say leave out the part where u describe what she looks like. I do that sometimes but I'm never pleased with the finished result. I think it's alright to describe other people's appearences but describing your own sounds conceeded. That's just my oppionon, I do it all the time but I'm never happy with the way it comes out. My suggestion to you is to like in another chapter through in something like "strands of my fine blonde hair blew into my face as I . . ." Like, incorporate it into other aspects. Another example "I glared at her angrily and I could tell that my steel green look affected her more then she let on." I have no idea what this story is about yet but those are just some examples. Also, how does one suck a snicker's bar dry? Anyway, I think this story has great potential
| arianaconstantina chapter 4 . 7/15/2010
LUV IT! great story so far! lol I like it when Alyssa calls Aidan a stalker!