|Reviews for Lighted window|
| honeydust9251 chapter 1 . 7/3/2010
first sentence: as if that simple gesture was the one that signaled the end of the day. Considering English is not your first language it is impressive that you would even try to write something like this. I congratulate you. Not sure I would be so brave. There are a number of linguistic, punctation and sentences structure that need polishing but again, you have my respect for coming up with something like this. Keep it up. English is not an easy language to learn as I am frequently told.
| Gloworm41 chapter 1 . 7/2/2010
You gotta love the way Gibbs takes care of his people, especially Tony. Loved the Mickey Mouse key chain that is so tony. Great job on this hope to read more stories from you.
| WCUGirl chapter 1 . 7/2/2010
Awesome job! I love Chained Stories :)
| Nikolaos chapter 1 . 7/2/2010
I really liked this, I thought you had the characters spot on. Just one little thing, it was quite confusing when you switched view points. It would be better if you had a break between them like a line or symbol. It makes it easier for us readers. Other than that, great storey.
| Lt. K.C. Trench chapter 1 . 7/2/2010
There are English mistakes. But, you did a great job! The characterizations and Tony's thoughts and fears were very well done. You had a lot of nice touches, such as the key chain bit. It said a lot about Tony and Gibbs through such a simple thing.
I wish I could read Spanish. If you write this well in a second language, I'm sure those you write in your native language are wonderful.
| RicaResin chapter 1 . 7/2/2010
"Beer still in hand, he got out of the room and went to the receiver."
-The word reciever doesn't make much sense in this sentence, but other than that I didn't see any spelling/grammar mistakes.
This was really good and really in character! Good job :)
| victoriantealady chapter 1 . 7/2/2010
You have a very good command of English for it being a second language. The imagery you use was beautiful such as "the lock that put siege to his memories". The area of difficulties that I noticed most was sentence structure, placing wording in the correct order, and really not all that much of it was out of place. Keep writing. I really enjoyed this story and look forward to more.
| finnrachel chapter 1 . 7/2/2010
I liked it. it was really good! for english not being your first language, it was good :)