|Reviews for Master of Mischief|
| Clodius Pulcher chapter 1 . 8/2/2010
Hi Kitt! I hope the summer's treating you well.
Círdan is a tea-drinker? *approves*
/the Boring Mean/ - boring? Never! Lovely phrase. :D
/I said Olwë is my dear and very near kin, and surely he would send a greeting. But no! There's not a word from Olwë or Finwë…"
"I also thought that strange," Thingol said quietly./
- very perceptive, I like that.
/"I know. You have but to put your ear to the puddle and you hear the gossip of a thousand leagues off."/
Lovely! Of course Círdan with Ulmo's friendship would hear news from afar, and swiftly, at least when Ulmo's in a gossipy mood.
/Lúthien clasped her hands around her cup. "How fun! You could disguise yourself. Trim those face hairs and claim to be a minstrel!"/
There's a tantalising idea, Círdan spying among the Noldor! Will there be more? :'D
| Aria chapter 1 . 7/13/2010
It's been a while since I read such a good Silmarillion story!
I just love it!
Hope you write some other story soon, because these are the stories worth reading.
| Shirriff chapter 1 . 7/4/2010
Very interesting! I'd never thought about Thingol and Círdan sharing info like this, or that they would have expected messages from Olwë (if that's in the Sil, I've forgotten). I liked the way Melian just sat back and let Thingol do his thing.
Thingol played his last card. "Would you willingly cut off that thing?" Círdan proudly stroked the silver tassel. "It grows back." - Intriguing! Everyone who writes about Círdan in the First Age seems to give him a beard, but the elves had only been around for three or four thousand years at that point. We're never told that the first elvenkings (who must have been pretty much the same generation as Círdan) had beards - or Elrond or Celeborn, who were considerably older in the late Third Age. Hm...
The lord of the Falas sniffed. "As your wife as she has often related, and will concur for me again, beards are all the rage among the Maiar, and not excepting the Valar, you and I both as witnesses." - Maybe this explains why the Istari assumed the appearance they did in Middle-earth.
"Oh yes, also present was their sister, Galadriel." He brought his cup to his lips and finding it empty, set it back down. "Tall. Yellow head. She is one lady I would not insult. You would get along." -Círdan shows himself characteristically wise.
Typos and stuff to consider (can't help it; it's literally in my genes):
Melion - Should be "Melian."
"her skin shown pure as a first snow" - I assume you mean "shone" (simple past of the verb "to shine") rather than "shown" (simple past of the verb "to show"). [Later in the story you use "shined" for the simple past of "to shine." Both are correct.]
"All my best ideas come you" - "From"?
"Her depthless eyes shined" - To me, eyes that are "depthless" could also be described as “flat” - and would be sinister and a real turn-off! Try "fathomless" if you're after the sense of "depth that can't be measured." That’s a positive trait for eyes.
"As your wife as she has often related, and will concur for me again, beards are all the rage among the Maiar, and not excepting the Valar, you and I both as witnesses.” - I think you don’t need that “as she.” And there’s something wrong with the last half of the sentence: maybe different punctuation for the final comma, and “you and I both *are* witnesses.” Or perhaps leave the comma and change the last phrase to “*as* you and I both *can* witness.” Or maybe I don’t understand what you’re saying.
"Melian waited for a discrete pause to lapse" - I suspect you mean “discreet” (having or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in speech: prudent; especially: capable of preserving prudent silence) rather than “discrete” (constituting a separate entity: individually distinct). I’d probably simplify it as “Melian paused discreetly.”