|Reviews for In The Service|
| Atlan chapter 26 . 11/17/2011
Poor Signum. I have this overpowering urge to give her a hug.
Two points about this chapter:
1: When you have Samuel and Agito talking in unison mode, it would be really handy if you could somehow indicate that they were talking. If not with speechmarks, then with Italics, or brackets, or something.
2: At the end, the way that Mariel implies that their single session was enough to fill in all the blanks about Unison Device construction... that seems a little much, for such a short session.
| Craxuan chapter 25 . 9/8/2011
Your specific knowledge of the military is both a blessing and a curse, really. On one hand you write an awesome story with realistic details and could convey very clearly the 'theme' of your chapter, on the other it lacks the MGLN innocence (or if you put it badly, stupidity xD) factor and avoids major fandom, thus making it hard for most readers to feel interested. I for one really have no interests in the combat cyborgs whatsoever, so I didn't read that one.
Putting those aside, it's still hard to review your chapters. ." I read this yesterday and tried to think up one, but could come up with only 'good as usual'. And even if I want to say Signum's... berserk seems unnatural, I also understand the term 'battle frenzy', how some people would do crazy things in the heat of battle or after, blah... So it kinda translates to 'no need to review' on something we both already know.
Well, continue your good effort!
| Atlan chapter 25 . 9/7/2011
It must be fate. Just a coupple of days ago I was rereading this story, wishing you'd update and musing on what, exactly, the story was behind the copy-Agito.
And now you update. Woo!
I liked this chapter a lot. Showing Carolyn was an intresting look at a normal TSAB mage, something this series has had in short supply(being mostly filled with cyborgs, super-mages, imortal constructs, psychopaths, and Samuel.)
Signum's actions, and reactions, were an intresting insight into her character, as were Vita's.
But the real star of this chapter was Agito. She seems to have upgraded from 'cameo character, who kinda likes Samuel' to something more important. I look foward to seeing more of that little unison device, and to seeing how her story turns out.
| Jumper Prime chapter 25 . 9/7/2011
"It takes a Wolkenritter to kill a Wolkenritter." This was said early in the fic but only now do I realize that it is quite literally true. An exceptional combatant can kill a Wolkenritter without actually being a Wolkenritter, but it doesn't stick, they reincarnate and come back for more. But now we know there IS a way to permanently kill an Other-Wolkenritter: A true Wolkenritter kills them while they are in skin-to-skin contact, the resultant mental fusion forces the Other-Wolkenritter to try to use the Tome of the Night Sky for reincarnation, the Tome traps them and locks them in storage, and Neo Belka is permanently short one Wolkenritter.
Signum now has to live with the memory of knowing what it's like to be killed by oneself and the memories of all the atrocities committed by her doppleganger, but the silver lining is that she now knows everything the TSAB ever wanted to know about Neo Belka and the Immortal Order. She can fill in pretty much every blank spot in the speculations about what Neo Belka is like, what they want, the Agito clone, where and how the Other-Wolkenritter reincarnate, etc.
Looks like the war is about to enter a new phase.
| Untamed of Wildwind chapter 24 . 8/10/2011
A second Agito? Can the Wolkenritter be copied in real time, I wonder, or is something else at work here?
| DrunkenGrognard chapter 24 . 7/25/2011
I am in awe of what you've written. It's very distinct in tone from the canon, and yet it feels right in a way most stories(and I include my own in this category) don't. I eagerly await the next update, good sir.
| Guest chapter 24 . 6/14/2011
woooo... this is getting really hyped up... i wanna see the real signum in action ~ XD
| Craxuan chapter 24 . 6/14/2011
Amazing. If only I could itallize my words. This was the first real combat MGLN fan fiction I've seen yet, and I must say the experience was quite addictive.
Just the fact that you managed to keep the enemies' true nature a complete mystery (Or you could view me too dim to realize if there was any) proved that you don't suffer from the annoying trait most writers could not avoid: Revealing secret at the wrong time.
It's been a while since I've truly read a serious series (At work no less) that is a fanfiction, and doesn't repulse me after the first few chapters. I have my own reasons to be compelled to read, but I don't even feel forced to at the first place.
Honestly I did not notice a drop in quality in describing the warships, mainly because I had a hard time even visualizing them in the first place. I supposed I don't need to mention how good the quality of the story is.
If there was one mistake I would like to point out, it would be on Nanoha's characterization. On some occasions she really sounded 'trigger happy', which to my opinion is really weird. She was also a dominant force and a 'trump card' so the lack of her participation together with at least one real Wolkenritter battles (Or, the lack of description on that part) feels out of place. That, or perhaps I'm just waiting for Starlight Breaker, haha.
I couldn't believe you're getting so little reviews, the community needs to grow some age so they could start appreciating such stories.
| GeshronTyler chapter 24 . 6/13/2011
The war's nicely heating up. Nice battle sequences. I like the rapid-fire mode Arc En Ciel, but I guess it's good that your limiting it to one ship so far. I wonder, would the TSAB come up with something like the "Two key" authorization system the US (and other nuclear powers) use for their nuclear weapons systems? If the TSAB is deliberately restricting the Arc En Ciel system in order to make possible missuse less devastating, they've now gone and put that very power in the hand of a single person, Lindy. Yes, she's hardly going to go rogue, but institutional paranoia tries to take no chances normally.
The Combat Cyborg Mages are pretty scary. Though it likely goes beyond the scope of this work, I could see problems in the future.
I wonder where the NB version of Agito came from? Data that was stolen, or some cache of Belkan tech that included her? I could see the possibility that Agito and other Unison devices might have been created in some numbers, perhaps as standard types.
Thanks for the chapter, read you next time.
| Jumper Prime chapter 24 . 6/13/2011
New Belkan Agito is probably gonna freak out our Agito. If somebody killed Signum while Agito was Unisoned with her, the only thing that would stop Agito from incinerating her Master's killer would be her own death or incapacitation. Agito's double seems to be little more than a doll. When Samuel killed her Signum, she just flew around confused then tried to Unison with her Master's killer. I can easily imagine Agito leaving to go throw up after getting the full story. And now we must wonder, is Agito's double a copy of her, or is Agito herself one of a number of Unison Devices mass-produced by the New Belkans for use by the Immortal Order? Did the people running the lab that Zest and Lutecia rescued Agito from have some sort of connection with or at least know of the New Belkans? We'll probably never know since Zest killed everyone there and the records were destroyed with the rest of the lab.
| Reader2001 chapter 23 . 5/23/2011
Nice to final see Genya finally getting some credit for doing all the hard work for the ground forces. Loved the first scene with Teana by the way.
Are you going to have Erio and Lutecia show up at all? Considering Lutecia has the same summoning abilities as Caro, I don't think a military would ignore someone like that in a war. Also, Erio already proved that he and Caro work well as a team, and he has learned from Signum, Nanoha and Fate.
| Atlan chapter 23 . 3/26/2011
One hell of an update. We get to see Teana, the ground forces (finally) doing something right, Cyborg Samual (And thanks for not having Jail brainwash him or anything), Agito finally gets her Unison, and Arf makes an apperance. All things I've been looking foward to.
I can't wait to see what Signum thanks of Samual's new enhancements- or Vita, for that matter. Their sparing sessions will be more even now.
Also nice to see more references to Samual's old famaliar. (Or his teammates old famaliar- I never could figure out which).
Finally, I liked the references to real-world events. The Japanese-quake crisis was a good idea. And having the TSAB NOT get involved in the whole Libya thing was a better idea.
Looking foward to seeing the long term effects of Samual's cyborg nature.
| D the Q chapter 20 . 2/22/2011
Love both your Numbers stories, but this Galland thing feels a little off. Read the two chaps following and I dont think any competent military/police organization would allow personnel to serve with the _killers_ of said personnel's relatives. Just not good policy(probably not good psych-wise either); so I think you should find a new OC. Just my opinion.
Story-wise, this gives real depth and new insight to the secondary characters of MGLN (and they do have a mighty big supporting cast). Since Earth is now allied with TSAB, could we see what's up with Alisa and Suzuka?
Interestingly enough, with the return of the Book of the Night Sky and the "Evil Wolkenritter", you've stolen some of the plot from the Nanoha video games. Your antagonists are a new spin on The Materials. Would be interesting to see them actually appear.
| Atlan chapter 22 . 2/11/2011
I really like this chapter. Well, I really like this series, but this chapter was a good one.
The millitary sci-fi approach to Nanoha is something I've never really seen before (with the posible exception of the 'Grand Tour' crossover series), but you do it well enough to make up for the lack of them.
I like the Woltenriger character studies; I like the Number character studies; I even like the OCs you've created (and that's unusual for me).
I've also been enjoying the Signum/Samual interaction- I can't wait to see how Samual's Cyborg status affects that. Perhaps the realization that he's almost as immortal as she is will change things?
I do have a request: it would be nice to see some of Teana and Subaru in this fic. Almost all the rest of the StrikerS cast has gotten a moment in the spotlight, but not them. Perhaps once Samual is officially Robocop-ed? As the one of the most socially integrated cyborgs, perhaps Subaru will need to share some pointers with Samual? Or as part of a Cyborg family reunion?
| Shiakou chapter 22 . 2/8/2011
. . . So who's immortal now? The Aces, definitely. Probably Teana and Fate's kids too. Who else visited the site in an official capacity? The Admirals? Yuuno? Chrono?