|Reviews for In The Service|
| Ray Venn Hakubi chapter 21 . 1/1/2011
Love this story so far. A very good look at the human side of things...
Though of course, I'd love tofind out more about the villains...
| ARCtheElite chapter 21 . 12/28/2010
What an exciting story. I was thinking to myself that your battles and the background were really detailed and you paid attention to all the little bits of information... then I saw your bio and it all made sense.
| hignum chapter 21 . 12/20/2010
so.. when do they kill off the new belkans? just stab em and burn em... they are poor copies of the original...
| Endymion2314 chapter 21 . 12/18/2010
Great chapter. Nice unconventional use of a starship. FYI remember the knzinti lesson as well. Maybe for the earth ships since I don't think Earth would use the gravitic/mana hybrid engines of the TSAB. Can't wait to find out who is actually in control of the rogues.
| GeshronTyler chapter 21 . 12/18/2010
Things are getting darker and more serious, I see. This likely means that the TSAB is going to have to work out a stronger alliance with Earth (and that other planet mentioned in passing), and start implementing use of Mass Weapons as well, or at least support Earth Troops using them. Not too mention, help develop Mass Weapons effective against the Neo-Belkan forces. Uno, I see you've grasped the concept of "better to ask forgiveness than permission". _ Of course, that only works if you _are_ successfull... P
Thanks, reading on.
| I-En-Tee-Jay chapter 20 . 12/16/2010
Amazing story, seriously well thought out setting!
I really like the mix of action and psychological exploration of the various characters, the Wolkenritter are some serious badass programs, and I'd really love to see what would happen if a Reinforce appeared on Earth when there are no Warships above.
Some scene lengths seem a bit truncated but it works fine with the way you write as well as the scenes themselves.
I'm a bit edgy about how much force you describe it takes to take down a mage though, but since it appears you've read up on lots more supplementary material than I have, I go with what you say.
Great Writing, Hope you continue!
| hignum chapter 20 . 11/15/2010
the way u write ur story, currently, sometimes confuses me... i mean... ur jumping from here to there without an actual plot... i don't see why they were going to regia of why they bothered attacking there.. even if i reread this whole thing, i would only get the first part but as u progress, i get more confused...
| GeshronTyler chapter 20 . 11/14/2010
I liked the part where Samuel warns Signum off, some things people have to work out for themselves. Or at least, one person' coping strategies aren't universally applicable. The Regius mission had some cool details in it. Sette and Tre will likely stumble over the results of their actions for much of their lives, unfortunately. At least, with passage of time, they, and their victims, will gain some perspective on those tragic events.
Thanks, read you next time.
| 00Zy99 chapter 4 . 11/13/2010
This story is incredible, with an excellent plot, and good characterizations, although I think you play up the Wolkenritter and cyborgs a bit too much, maybe having Nanoha and Fate get some more action would level it out. On a related note, I felt that the action at Earth the second time was too limited in scope. It would have been nice to have multiple ships attacking, with various parts of the world being invaded, and maybe having a couple ships land or crash, so that Earth starts to get some tech/magitek to reverse engineer. The type 2 gadgets would be nice in this instance, maybe there is some debris left in the Rub Al Khali? The political impacts should include Japan being faced with the prospect of having to allow nuclear weapons onto its soil so that a global defense grid can be built-not to mention that the missiles would have to be based everywhere for proper coverage, including Africa and South America (more messes). Maybe they could be put on subs, for hiding, flexibility, and a small chance of survival. This might start to lead to a unification of the world.
Furthermore, reading about the maneuvarability of Aerial Mages, I realized the perfect weapon to let non-mages combat them. Two words: Variable Fighter. If the Macross anime exists in this universe, then I could easily see someone suggesting that idea, and Magitek would be the boost necessary to make it work. With the right missiles, they might also be of some use against ships. This would be very helpful. Also, Earth should be building space stations, and a lunar base for defense. I look forward to seeing massive fleet on fleet actions, with Earth variable fighters launching from carriers, and Mid building mass weapons.
| Endymion2314 chapter 19 . 11/3/2010
Really happy I found this in my delving through. Great story; great characterizations. Hope you put some more of earth's reactions to Hayate and magic in general in during one of the side stories.
| hignum chapter 19 . 10/29/2010
well... Signum really is thinking a lot lately...
| Crosswood chapter 19 . 10/27/2010
Ah. I have a confession – I have gypped you.
For the amount of time I spend pouring over your updates, I probably owe you roughly seventeen reviews by now – each new section is exquisitely written, and have frequently contained lines that made this ex-soldier smile ruefully.
This particular chapter in your “In the Service” is outstanding, even placed as it is in an entire series which seems to be made of outstanding. The characterisations are really rather excellent, and the development is so natural one hardly notices.
Thank you for your updates, thank you for maintaining realism, and regards.
((As a ps comment: as a female soldier who has served on attachment with PLA officers, I was unsure about the sexism angle - the US Army Officers were far more hidebound when I deployed with them by a long margin – but I accept there are bad apples in every contingent and it seems perfectly legitimate to use one for the sake of good story-telling.))
| Eleventh Messenger chapter 19 . 10/27/2010
I continue to approve of this story. Keep on trucking, sir.
| hignum chapter 18 . 10/21/2010
I can't wait for the next chapter, i hope Signum gets more screen time... heheh... -
| GeshronTyler chapter 18 . 10/20/2010
Hey, that was a nice take on a mundane/mage battle. Too bad you didn't let Fate and Nanoha really pitch in. Might have freaked people out even more, though. I mean, two people fairly close in power to Hayate, but mobile as all heck? _
I believe that magic seems to be limited in range for most mages, and _usually_ restricted to line of sight. Hayate does have true long range capability, beyond visual range, but only with support to help target and keep the spell together, according to the scene in Strikers. Nanoha surprised the heck out of Vita in A's, with her long-rage DB, and she was just within visual range, so I would venture to say that most mages, and magic, probably aren't effective beyond a kilometer, if that.
Also, it's probably necessary to have some kind of support magic to help with targeting, going from the climatic pwning of Quattro on the "Throne". I.e. something like Wide Area Search.
I'd dispute Hayate's vulnerability in uniform without her BJ though. She should be capable of calling up a shield, or barrier spell regardless if she's transformed or not. Add in the auto-protection capabilities her device should offer, she'd be proof against any fire-arm or blade with even a minimum of warning. I'd conceed a sniper might have a chance, with a supersonic round, or anti-materiel rifle (.50cal), or something more exotic like a laser or railgun. None of which would survive the attempt.
I like the way public reaction is playing out. This sort of thing would truly shake the foundations of society, especially those ascribing to Christian, Judaism, or Islam. I think the cultures with mostly asian philosophies/religions will take it better, aside from China, with it's Superpower inclinations. Noone likes to be told that the basis upon which their power rests is an illusion. Well, the world's militaries are still effective in respect to each other, but not in relation to the greater interdimensional arena that has been revealed.
It may not play much of a part in the rest of the story, but if nothing else, humanity has just been rudely awakened to the absolute necessity of gaining a real foothold in space. _ Let the new space race begin! That's something the TSAB could help with, without having to provide technology, teleporting payloads into orbit.
Your original characters, and use of the cyborgs and other canon characters, continues to be engaging in how they intereact and develop.
Thanks, read you next time.