Reviews for In The Service
hignum chapter 18 . 10/21/2010
I can't wait for the next chapter, i hope Signum gets more screen time... heheh... -
GeshronTyler chapter 18 . 10/20/2010
Hey, that was a nice take on a mundane/mage battle. Too bad you didn't let Fate and Nanoha really pitch in. Might have freaked people out even more, though. I mean, two people fairly close in power to Hayate, but mobile as all heck? _

I believe that magic seems to be limited in range for most mages, and _usually_ restricted to line of sight. Hayate does have true long range capability, beyond visual range, but only with support to help target and keep the spell together, according to the scene in Strikers. Nanoha surprised the heck out of Vita in A's, with her long-rage DB, and she was just within visual range, so I would venture to say that most mages, and magic, probably aren't effective beyond a kilometer, if that.

Also, it's probably necessary to have some kind of support magic to help with targeting, going from the climatic pwning of Quattro on the "Throne". I.e. something like Wide Area Search.

I'd dispute Hayate's vulnerability in uniform without her BJ though. She should be capable of calling up a shield, or barrier spell regardless if she's transformed or not. Add in the auto-protection capabilities her device should offer, she'd be proof against any fire-arm or blade with even a minimum of warning. I'd conceed a sniper might have a chance, with a supersonic round, or anti-materiel rifle (.50cal), or something more exotic like a laser or railgun. None of which would survive the attempt.

I like the way public reaction is playing out. This sort of thing would truly shake the foundations of society, especially those ascribing to Christian, Judaism, or Islam. I think the cultures with mostly asian philosophies/religions will take it better, aside from China, with it's Superpower inclinations. Noone likes to be told that the basis upon which their power rests is an illusion. Well, the world's militaries are still effective in respect to each other, but not in relation to the greater interdimensional arena that has been revealed.

It may not play much of a part in the rest of the story, but if nothing else, humanity has just been rudely awakened to the absolute necessity of gaining a real foothold in space. _ Let the new space race begin! That's something the TSAB could help with, without having to provide technology, teleporting payloads into orbit.

Your original characters, and use of the cyborgs and other canon characters, continues to be engaging in how they intereact and develop.

Thanks, read you next time.
hignum chapter 17 . 10/17/2010
Signum deserves a big scene to herself! XD this chapter is nice but some of ur sentences, well, left me really confused because, well, ur not portraying what's hapening smoothly... so to speak, the sentence is confusing... it's not wrong to use simple words and explanations u noe...
vernaides chapter 17 . 10/14/2010
Lamia Loveless. Mythology gag LOL.

Spiffy hot action I might say. A moping Signum is new to me. Samuel is a genuinely interesting character (and well-built, kudos to you), even if a harem is somewhat building up around him. :D

I wonder how scared/awed the Terrans would look when Nanoha, Fate, and Hayate arrive with spells blazing... :3
GeshronTyler chapter 17 . 10/14/2010
Interesting byplay among the Mage Team members. You've written some nice scenes dealing with people's internal and external reactions. Looking forward to some Mundane vs. Mage action, and the arrival of the Girls With Big Honking Weapons. _

I've had an idea for a Startlight Breaker variant, that I haven't used myself (but if you like it, feel free please), designed to deal with a mass assault, where a general "explosive/concussive" area-of-effect effect isn't necessarily the best option. To visualize, it takes the form of a fireworks shell, where the individual rays bursting from the central point are Shooters (Divine, I'd say), but not necessarily individually controlled. Rather, Nanoha controls the dispersion pattern (sphere, cone, etc.) including exclusion zones to protect friendlies. One other thing, I think a barrier jacket should be able to emulate an IR Friendly beacon, that have been introduced on vehicles at least, to improve target discrimination. It might be one of those things that people overlook though, until some overzealous "UAW 97ian" manages to blue-on-blue a mage/cyborg.

If I've understood correctly, the TSAB embassy is in New York? The city, or just nearby in the state? It's shouldn't take more than a few hours to get a few fighters set up for ground attack into the area, if it's on US soil. Granted, if preventing collateral damage is a priority, JDAMs ("dumb" bombs with gps guidance units added) aren't necessarily the best, let alone strafing, but are the sort of weapons generally available. Depending on where the attacks are taking place, the local government might want to send in attack choppers as well, for their agility, rocket pods, and autocannons (turret and pods). Some also have Rotormast mounted sights/sensors, very usefull for reconnaisance/battle control. Helicopters aren't generally kept on alert status, and are slower than jets, so several hours could well pass before they could arrive at the earliest. Something that could be very effective would be the AC130 ground attack/support variant (AC130 Spectre), which has 1-2 25mm miniguns, 40mm autocannon, and a 105mm howitzer (no fooling). Being a turbo-prop, and not widely based, (likely overseas in Iraq/Afghanistan) it would take some time to arrive.

One thing I would consider when using earth "modern" military tech against completely new/unknown foes, is that self-guided missles/bombs/submunitions generally use sensors (radar, IR, UV, visible/TV) that match a stored target profile against it's own sight picture. A gps directed weapon will simply fly to the geographical point, but anything that uses target recognition (i.e, Radar/IR guided missles) to discriminate it's target can't be used against the New Belkans until those target profiles are created. Some systems designed for ground attack can I think recognize individual human beings, as well as vehicles and direct weapons to them, but I'm not sure if they're using laser guidance. That's something the "Terrans" should be using, as long as the New Belkans can't detect, or block a IR targeting laser (though simple fog/dust/smoke can do that) , laser guidance is available for a large range of weapons, and pretty darn portable.

Well, I'm enjoy this, in anycase. Thanks, read you next time.
hignum chapter 16 . 10/6/2010
this seems to be getting more and more twisted though Signum's mindsight is pretty simple at the moment. kill her clones or else die... throwing up at the thought of fifty versions of herself sounds pretty much sane, in a way and i'm glad that most of the combat cyborgs have reformed, minus stupid quattro and the mad jail... i hope u update soon... i'd like to read about Signum killing all fifty versions of herself...
vernaides chapter 16 . 10/6/2010
Awesome as always, even without the action.

New Belka reminds me of SRW's Shadow Mirror, whose purpose is to plunge the world into an eternal state of war. Both have cloned warriors too.

Fifty Reinforce clones are more than enough to wipe Clanagan off the face of Mid-Childa, so why haven't they? Is New Belka that fragmented? Or are they not as adept in tactics like surgical strikes?

It's good that Uno realizes that she's not as crazy as her father and other sisters. She'd been doubting herself for a while, I think.

Waiting for more chapters and the resolution of this conflict.
GeshronTyler chapter 16 . 10/6/2010
So, interdimensional zentraedi mage-clones? _ If I'm understanding this correctly, this appears to be some splinter faction that's bee off by itself, and not some kind of Xanatosian plot to conquer the multiverse. Except for that the warriors aren't actually of Belkan descent. They would have apparently stumbled across some cache of Belkan history/technology, or have been influenced by Belkans fleeing the destruction of their homeland.

All-in-all, I wonder if events won't have the TSAB reconsidering tech transfers to Earth and Luthien. Since the enemy is a multi-world polity, it stands to reason that it's industrial resources are comparable to the TSAB's. Not to mention that the NewBelkans are on a permanent war footing.

The series has been engaging so far, I look forward to reading more.
Mustang Driver chapter 16 . 10/6/2010
FIFTY insane Reinforces? Were you feeling like being cruel to the universe at the time you wrote that passage? I can really sympathize with Signum right now. Now I have Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Bad Moon Rising" going through my head ("Don't go 'round tonight / It's bound to take your life / There's a bad moon on the rise"). I'm looking forward to the next chapters, so please don't disappoint!
AluciusDawn chapter 15 . 9/28/2010
This is pretty much exactly as I see the Bureau. Competent, dangerous and effective. They have imitations, copies or countermeasures for anything that could be used against them, and are willing to do what is necessary even if they don't particularly care for it. Sorry, just tired of TSAB being portrayed as useless.

As far as the rest of the content goes, I rather enjoy it as well. I like your look into the minds of the Wolkenritter and cyborgs. How they are both very human, but at the same time... slightly off. I'm rather fascinated by both this other group of Wolkenritter and these 'Belkans'. Just who are they? Also liking Samuel. At times he seems almost unnaturally calm, so it's all the more interesting to see what shakes him up. He also makes a good viewpoint as he is low enough on the power scale to really feel the enormity of what is going on while still being high up enough to be included with the main cast. Plus his talks with Signum are enlightening.

Finally, can we make a medal just for Chrono? The Badass Cross or something. Oh, we're boarding a ship! Guess I'll just lead the way with this undermanned group. Oh, there's an evil copy of a being who can do battle with starships! Don't worry, I got this. :P

Seriously though, good work, solid writing. Occasionally the chapters are a bit short though. This is both good and bad as while you get to the point quicker, sometimes you lose some of the immersion. It's like you trim the fat off the story, but occasionally, you cut to the bone and we lose some of the good stuff.

Talk to you later,

AluciusDawn
RedPBass chapter 15 . 9/26/2010
I'm really liking this story... I've got a feeling it'll ruin all other serious wolkenritter fanfics for me. Good job!
hignum chapter 15 . 9/24/2010
that was weird... i can't really seem to be able to grasp what was happening... maybe a lil confused since, well, maybe just confused...
hignum chapter 14 . 9/21/2010
very nice, like always... i hope Signum gets a bigger role!
Eleventh Messenger chapter 14 . 9/20/2010
Not nearly enough people reviewing these stories for how good they are. I like the dual-storyline you have going.
GeshronTyler chapter 13 . 9/14/2010
Yeeesss! They _got_ the B_tch!

Rather sad how many children/clones have been tangled up in this mess, but at least one of the main antagonists has been taken down. We still have the mystery of what specific goal Scaglietti is working towards, and how that ties in with the faux BoDs, but perhaps we have the beginning of the end. Would be an interesting pairing, Tre and Samuel. Poor Yuuno, hope he finds someone of his own. Heh, a Hayate that doesn't want to play matchmaker.

Nice chapter, look forward to the next.
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