|Reviews for Sauske and Natuto BUSTED!|
| ghrtbv chapter 1 . 11/17/2014
you should put naruto and and sakura having sex and sauske and hinata having sex
| jose chapter 1 . 10/19/2013
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| Narutoyaoi4ever chapter 1 . 4/9/2013
Until lne of the neighbors told them to shut up I was like #dead
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/20/2013
This is he best of naruto and sauske make more plz
| Janieceal chapter 1 . 6/29/2012
One word for this dj """nosebleed""":-X
| Neon Crazy Kitty chapter 1 . 2/5/2012
This was awesome! Your awesome! Sasunaru is awesome! And cookies are awesome too! XD
Lol good job! Liked it! Just two little mistakes you made: One- you made Sasuke a little too emotional. TWO- You made Naruto a little bit too girly. It was still good though!
| LunarCatNinja chapter 1 . 12/5/2011
This was sweet, and... I guess sexy in some areas, just perfect for the romance genre you chose, so great job! W
| YaOi69LoVeR chapter 1 . 8/9/2011
hahahaha that was great I think you are a really good writer I can't wait to read the rest of your writing.
| Xx-Dominiiku-xX chapter 1 . 8/7/2011
Woah... XD I'm a big guy on guy fan haha I'm a Bisexual accutally this book. Is 1 of the best fucking Yaoi books I've ever read lol TY 4 WRITING IT!
| TheNightmareBeforeDawn chapter 1 . 11/1/2010
haha that was funny at the end!
| BelovedShadow chapter 1 . 7/31/2010
WOW! Firstly, hold on while I clean up the blood oozing out of my nose..
okay, so again WOW! This may just be the hottest SasuNaru I have read so far.. and I have read... too much, let's leave it at that. GOOD LORD JESUS! I can't even give you any critisizm, cus i'm still distracted by how beautifully hot that just was... It was also sweet, when the sweetness was needed... bud DAMN it was hot... anyway... congrats on your first yaoi, you need to keep up the good work, or I just might kill myself.
| mayly5000 chapter 1 . 7/20/2010
you really need to write sasuke name right cuz it's nou sauske
| Ruka-x3 chapter 1 . 7/10/2010
Okay, I have to be honest so here goes.
You definately need a beta. For sure. There were multiple spelling and grammar mistakes in this that could have easily been fixed with Microsoft Word, which is the most common, but if not you could have proofread it yourself.
The plot of this story was good but there were a couple of unreasonable things.
Why was Narutos apartment door left unlocked? Really, he isn't that stupid and regardless of him being a ninja or not I doubt he would have left his door unlocked.
Don't you think that it's a little silly that everyone started to cry when Sasuke and Naruto got walked in on? I mean seriously, come on.
And Hinata mysteriously turning into a possible bisexual due to her heart being broken by a supposedly feminin looking Naruto?
Also, in the 'second half' of this lemon after Hinata and Sakura had left, how the hell was Naruto still supposedly stretched? It had apparently been hours and you do not stay stretched for that long unless you have something periodically inserting itself into you to keep you stretched and relaxed.
So, to sum this all up, you need practice. A lot of practice. This fic was not entirely intolerable, though there were some parts I absolutely could not stand to read, but you should consider revising and proofreading everything before you upload it. And another thing comes to mind, you are able to edit this once it's uploaded. And even the uploader on FF has a spellcheck so there should be no reason for you to not have proper spelling.
Regardless this is just my opinion, do with it what you will.
| ChomiKikee chapter 1 . 7/7/2010
Okay.. So let's start with the spelling. You should really read over your work. There were A LOT of spelling mistakes.
Now the OOC-ness. That was extreme. Never would those characters do some of the things they did.
And what was with all the crying? That honestly made no sense.
I thought the story was going okay until Hinata and Sakura walked in, then the shit hit the fan.
It was just awkward and forced after that. Seems like you just had nothing to say anymore.
And Hinata, cussing? Wow.
Well, you need practice, I'm not saying your bad, but you do need to improve.
Take this as advice.
And it's Sasuke not Sauske.
Please use spell check!
| lauraninja998 chapter 1 . 7/6/2010
It was all really good until you had sakura and hinata kiss that felt rather forced and after it just seemed a little rushed. Loved it tho :D