|Reviews for That I Would Be Good|
| roxiegirl chapter 38 . 7/22/2014
Cosette-I finished this a while back and just realized I forgot to leave a final review! I loved it. Every minute! From the travel to the romance to the angst to the drama. It was amazing! Don't let that rude Guest review get you down! You wrote a beautiful story!
| Guest chapter 38 . 6/7/2014
I've finally got around to finishing this. It was recommended by a good friend if yours.
I've seen lots of your comments on other fics and your old blog which encouraged readers to be blunt and honest.
Do you really want a fair critique? Seems to me you're willing to give it, let's see if you can take it. I'm going to give feedback purely as I read it.
It's primarily a travelogue. You've clearly visited the majority of the places you've listed. It was self-indulgent and you were showing off. Your beta should have edited heavily. Too much detail. You waffled on and on. You told, not showed. Talk about information dumping. Wow, girl, you know how. I was wondering when we'd get back to the story. The travelling should have provided a background, but instead developed more personality than poor, suffering Bella.
The characterization was poor. I didn't really care about them. They were cardboard cut-outs, you had them having breakdowns but it was hard to empathise as I just did not like them.
The lemons you're so proud of? They're either your fantasies or your reality. I'm not sure which, but from what I can gather they may well be drawn from experience. Write what you know? Right? Except knowing they were possibly part of your life made me feel like a voyeur and dirty. And they weren't all that anyway. Mostly clichėd and I skipped through them. They were quite mechanical. Do you have trouble letting down your barriers? I cannot decide.
Okay, we know you've wrote the trip from experience, the lemons from your RL, but the plot had major holes and the characters were lacking. What's left? Grammar. Oh sugar, you are so arrogant I'm assuming you didn't take the advice you like to give. Welp. Let's just say, it needs a read through and heavy handed beta who you'll listen to - or to whom you'll listen. Dialogue tags, dangling participles, repetition...I'm not going to go on, but I could. Lady, I've seen your criticism of fics with my own eyes. You really should not throw stones when your house is made of very delicate glass.
Overall, it's an okay read. Hardly memorable. It needs a lot of work to make it readable at a higher level. I'm hoping that as you have shared all of your life experiences, you'll have gotten the writing bug out of your system. But remember, be kind to writers. They may see how you've treated their ramblings and decide to read yours and be totally real and honest right back.
And, you know, I stand by my critique. I actually looked for sections to give positive feedback, but it was average, at best. Nice try honey, but you should stick to you day job. And dear lord, please don't try to teach others about grammar when you don't have a high school grasp of it.
| roxiegirl chapter 8 . 3/15/2014
Gosh Cosette, I AM LOVING THIS STORY! Your writing is amazing. I feel like I'm right there with Bella. And of course your descriptions of Edward are spot on for our gorgeous Rob. Love the UST and drama too. Great job. I admire people who can write so much. I can barely write a review! Lol. Back to the story!
| Guest chapter 34 . 2/8/2014
My husband is so different than Edward. When we were in college there were some partis when our friends kissed each other, I mean in a woman-woman way. He never wanted me to do it. He was jealous. I get it, what's the difference in kissing a man or a woman? If it still make you good, if it gives you pleasure then there is no difference. For me it would be cheating, so I never wanted anyone else lips than my man. Before him I did different thing but after I met him there wasn't anyone else. Only him.
| Guest chapter 21 . 2/8/2014
I don;t like Bella. What a fucking bitch! She dares to be judge Edward when she was ready to date Railey? When she called him and asked him on a date? Fucking hypocrite. And it's the second time. She was also hypocritical considering Tanya behavior when she did the same thing.
| Guest chapter 17 . 2/8/2014
So how Bella is different from Tanya? They both couldn't stand Edward going to war, they both couldn't stand waiting for him.
| YukaoruSena chapter 38 . 8/18/2013
I really loved this story, though I do have to comment on a few elements in the story.
-I don't really know anything about history or architecture in the US, let alone anywhere else in the world, nor do I find that type of thing particularly interesting, so those parts were a bit ... confusing and ... tedious, maybe?
-I don't have any experience with PTSD, but I've always been interested in psychology, so I liked your portrayal of what that might be like for some people.
-About Alice and Emmett... I have to say that I definitely disagree with you there. I think they're too much alike to really fit as a couple long term. They make better friends than lovers. Besides, physically, have you thought about that? He's so huge, very muscled and buff. And Alice is extremely tiny. It just wouldn't work at all. Opposites do attract and are meant for each other. Personally, I love Alice and Jasper together. They're perfect for each other, and I was sad that they weren't together in this fic, and it almost broke my heart to see Jasper so sad too.
But overall, excellent story, and again, I loved it. So thanks for the great read. Loves, hugs and Cullens!
| Ms.bellcull chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
I absolutely love your author's notes. Some authors aren't as honest as you.
| Nehnah14 chapter 38 . 5/11/2013
Damn, that was some good readin'!
I loved the emotions and the portrayal of the characters.
I would so enjoy reading an outtake of Edward finding about Bella's first pregnancy and maybe one of their first wedding...What say you? You up for a little extra writing?
| end2097 chapter 38 . 5/3/2013
Thank you for sticking with this story and finishing it and thank you for sharing it! I'm surprised there aren't more reviews! I really enjoyed this!
| end2097 chapter 34 . 5/3/2013
Hmmm... That ended on a down note. How can he go back to battle when he has these reactions?
Time is running out!
Maybe he can do something stateside.
| end2097 chapter 32 . 5/3/2013
Not really sure what the right answer is here... I'm hoping Edward will go to therapy and then they conclude he can't re-enlist because of the flashbacks... Then they move closer to Charlie and away from Seth and Renee and everyone is happy. Maybe? Just a few chapters left! We're running out of time for a full HEA!
| cuteascherries chapter 38 . 5/3/2013
| end2097 chapter 25 . 5/2/2013
Feeling better... But time is marching on!
| end2097 chapter 23 . 5/2/2013
Yikes... Lots of angst!