|Reviews for Completion|
| ElwynWanderer chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
That was very touching. I especially liked the line about hearing "harp strings snapping when none actually were."
I wish I could think of more to put in this review, but your amazing writing has left me in shock, and adding anything more at this point would be stating the obvious.
What can I say? You're amazing. )
| BlueNynaeve chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
This is great. Very descriptive. I haven't actually read the series, but this scene is believable from just about any romantic perspective and you have done a really great job of giving enough backstory to ground it.
| Lamarquise chapter 1 . 3/1/2011
| Joseph De Cristofaro chapter 1 . 10/12/2010
as i said about Princess Diaries, very well written. your stories engulf me more than any short stories ever have or quite possibly ever will. i absolutely love your writing.
| terra chapter 1 . 9/2/2010
Thank you so much for this story! It is absolutely beautiful! The characterization is excellent and the plot is wonderful! It was a joy to read this.
| PrydainViolet chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
after a truly miserable day i'm curled up in bed with my laptop, and for no reason in particular i found myself wandering into the old prydain fiction page and i found THIS, and it is beautiful and i'm suddenly overwhelmed with good feelings. i love it and i love you for writing it and i'm so happy that i thought to turn to my prydain friends tonight because if i hadn't i would be going to sleep with a scowl instead of a smile. i know i'm getting overly emotional over a review, but thanks a million - i really mean it. it's a wonderful piece.
| Clio1792 chapter 1 . 8/6/2010
This is wonderful, and beautifully written.
| everlovin chapter 1 . 8/1/2010
Beautiful! Thank you!
| adaon45 chapter 1 . 7/19/2010
I love it! As I commented earlier on the draft, let me add just a few things here.
It's wonderful that you are so adept at finding these blank spaces in the books waiting to be filled in. Alexander's style has a poetic spareness and economy that few authors today aspire to-and, as a result, it's sometimes difficult to find the pregnant gap waiting for us. Great that you took advantage of this one.
So much is spot-on here, especially the descriptions of mental anguish and response to trauma, which capture the grimmer mood of this book. I love the portrait of Gwydion-his underlying guilt about Eilonwy's fate, his "wary hope" (lovely phrase!) that she is still alive.
I think that your putting in a part about Taran's continued anxiety-and his efforts to hold it in check-near the end gave the story a vivid and compelling psychological realism.
And I love the details-such as Taran feeling Eilonwy's silent chuckle in the quiver of her ribs.
Of course, I always hope for more!
| LivEviL chapter 1 . 7/9/2010
Oh, if only you would post a story similar to this once a day! Oh, how happy I would be! :)
| merln chapter 1 . 7/8/2010
So, so, so beautiful! Your descriptions are vivid, the dialogue—particularly Gwydion's—rings true, and you end, delightfully, on a high note (or rather, on the imagined twang of a broken harp-string)! Once again your ability to pull me right into a story, into its moods and fears, astounds me, and makes me want to draw pretty pictures (of which I have made few lately, to my sorrow) or write my own words... I can't express my delight at the notification I received (new story! new story! get it while it's hot!), and I enjoyed it greatly!
Tiny things I would change: "the buoyant curve in her back" I would make "of her back," mostly because that's how I've seen it, and "in" stood out to me :) Also "nearly unnerved" seems a bit mild; "unmanned" seems closer but is always an interesting word to use, even in the more archaic tone this story tends to take... I would add "the" before "recesses of fear" because my heart tells me so ;) My editing, alas, tends to be instinctual, as I learned to read (and read widely) before anyone taught me the "why" of grammar. It just is, isn't it?
| Freawaru chapter 1 . 7/8/2010
oh that was wonderful! I agree with Elouise82 completely!
| ElouiseBates chapter 1 . 7/8/2010
This was so beautiful. Your prose reads like poetry in places; the detail is phenomenal. Taran noticing "the buoyant curve of her back"; Gwydion's "mask of practiced stoicism"; Taran's hope for a world where Eilonwy "in all her vibrancy _belonged_" ... all of it is piercing and sweet and sad.
Gwydion's guilt, Taran attempting to live up to Eilonwy's expectations of him; the princess's horror at what she had seen and done (in stark contrast to her triumph when she first entered the battle); Coll's concern for her ... all perfectly in character. I especially like the bit about hearing harp strings snapping, as though the truthful harp has affected them all.
And coming full circle, from "She wasn't there" at the beginning, to "She was there" at the end. Yes. In time such as those, when despair has overtaken the land, and hope seems gone, that fact that they were all there, together, did indeed have to be enough.