|Reviews for Trying to Help|
| xxClueless1xx chapter 1 . 11/21/2012
I really did how you did the echo conclusion (where you repeat a line from the beginning at the end) That was very good - I'm sue Cori liked it. :)
| Sam L. Manson chapter 1 . 7/1/2012
continue or have a sequel!
i would be so thankful if u did!
| Cordria chapter 1 . 8/20/2010
Oh yes, you're good at cliffhangers. Again, really awesome place to end. You had a really good build-up of energy in this story, pulling the reader along and making them want to keep reading! Very, very interesting.
I loved how you described what Sam was wearing and how she was feeling while she was wearing it. Hot and itchy. Those are great little details! And you did a great job describing Danny's eyes. I wish you would have done that with the setting too - what does the jail look like? How is Sat feeling when she is leaving? What is her body doing - are her eyes filling with tears or her throat tightening?
Really good job, Pii. Keep up the great work! And I think it's funny that you apologize about your grammar to everyone BUT me. xD You're doing a really fabulous job with it.
| PsychoticNari chapter 1 . 7/17/2010
NOEZ! EVUL! -holy water time!-
| Croger chapter 1 . 7/15/2010
You may not have author's notes or line breaks, but you certainly have just about everything else. I can't even begin to count all the grammatical errors, and spelling mistakes are everywhere! You spelled either through or though as trough. I couldn't really figure out what word you wanted there because your grammar was possibly the worst I have ever seen since reading a sentence that a second grader wrote. Put some effort into it and be proud of what you do. Get other people to proofread all your stuff.
The quality of the majority of work on this site is dismal at best, try adding something that is really worth reading and that you could think about publishing if it wasn't about a copywrited subject.
| Ziafna chapter 1 . 7/11/2010
Right... This is very interesting and-WHY JUST A ONE-SHOT?
And when was that sparkling stuff, the first thought was- STALKER VAMPIRE. *shot*
| Fugitive of Gray chapter 1 . 7/10/2010
Good stuff... *sniff* good stuff... :(
| DannySamLover20 chapter 1 . 7/10/2010
its really cute! more!
| IsistheWolf1 chapter 1 . 7/10/2010
That was great.
| ghostgal4 chapter 1 . 7/10/2010
WHY IS THE ONLY A ONE SHOT WHY! DX