|Reviews for The Marauders, Episode IV: Weapon X|
| flashblader6 chapter 3 . 4/13/2011
Dude, this story is EPIC! So much description that I can easy picture the events in my mind. Good luck in your upcoming stories. :)
| Absol Master chapter 3 . 2/5/2011
Oh look, it's working again. I'm gonna try and remember what I said last time...
First, good job on flashbacks. Good backstories are an important part of character development that most writers don't manage very well. I especially love what you did with James and his father's relationship and past. So much momentum to work with.
So far, I like everything about the nature of Logan-his personality, his powers, his past, how he handles knowing what he was.
Quite a large amount of cliche usage in multiple scenes, especially the one with the vision of Tricia. But well, cliches work, so no complaints there.
Great action as always. Overtly intense, as always. But it's your style. The very clean segregation between scenes on James' side and Logan's side gets me sometimes; I'd prefer if the scenes alternated rapidly. Or maybe it's a girl thing-I've heard we tend to be more spread-minded while guys focus on things...or something.
And lastly...WOLVERINE. Whut. Such...blatancy.
| SkyApples chapter 1 . 1/13/2011
Excellent story although, I found a slight mistake, it is impossible for Logan to be Sierra 117, oh wait never mind, sorry XD. Anyways I've never seen a fusion of Starcraft, Halo, and Maplestory, you pull it off brillently.
| The Most Pro Mapler On Earth chapter 3 . 1/8/2011
I apologize for my rushed review, as I was copying this chapter onto my ebook and happened to see the words "Ikorose, Shinso".
Ahem. And LOL, Crisis Core/Advent Children references... looks like I'm not the only Final Fantasy VII fan in town, eh?
And James... I didn't know that his father behaved like Zack - will James fight three silver-haired men, eventually fighting in a church in the slums? I sure hope not...
*JAMES RIDING ON FENRIR FTW!*
Double ahem. And Logan... well, hard to imagine that he didn't get a nervous breakdown like in the movies. And the Grays - ummm, I play Starcraft two, and... Well, the humans Terrans and Grays Protoss. I just hope a Mateon Swarm Queen won't appear and cause even more havoc.
I have ideas about everyone's Zanpakutos except Hiroshi's - The closest a Zanpakuto has ever got to a gun is maybe Soi Fon's Jakuho Raikoben, which will probably belong to (whoops spoiler)
Anyway, good luck with the rest of the story - I can see a great future. Oh wait, here comes Bahamut SIN... gotta go!
| The Most Pro Mapler intheworld chapter 3 . 1/8/2011
I knew his Zanpakuto would be Shinso.
I wonder if he'll use Bankai and cut a city in half...
| Kyrastri chapter 3 . 1/4/2011
One word. Wow.
It's been ages since you last updated this! I'm super glad you did~
The descriptions were amazing, and I see you've crammed Starcraft in there too.
Although I think that the ending could've been more suspenseful, but yah know. That's just me, I guess. :3
| Absol Master chapter 2 . 12/30/2010
When Logan was picking up all the ammo from Kay in chapter 1, I seriously thought he was overdoing it. Especially after being shown to be virtually impervious. It seems, though, that it was all necessary. And now I'm really starting worry for his health-he's already having trouble with Zeno, I can't imagine what the entire army is going to do to him.
Well, I can only expect something amazing. A spectacular save. You always manage to pull a convincing one, after all.
Another high point of this chapter was the inner conflict of James after Zabuza began to rile him with talk about his father and Tricia's death. It was very real; I was held very still in the tension of that scene.
If this is how you write with "rip offs", I'd really, honestly love to see your writing with an original plot. Till next chapter.
| Absol Master chapter 1 . 10/15/2010
This is looking good. The drill-I love the expertise you show in your writing, I enjoy your characterisation, but I wish you'd spend less time on roughly irrelevant things like people's manner of movement from one place to another. Logan...sigh. The reference is so blatant I think I'd be wasting my strength typing it.
The next chapter will have its review soon, some other time.
| Kyrastri chapter 2 . 10/13/2010
Starcraft references ftw~ ;)
Gahh. The last sentence gave me a shiver. Still awesomely awesome :D
Update soon, I hope.
| Oreo Lover chapter 1 . 8/14/2010
If Logan's a DK, what is he doing with a big fking gun? A big fking spear wouldn't make sense, but he IS a DK.
| TheDarkScythe chapter 1 . 7/18/2010
Crocio(can't spell) Tanks?
Wow, Starcraft meets Maple Story...
So if humans are Terrans, Grays should be Protoss(due to their 'intelligence') and Mateons should be Zerg(because of how disgusting they look). Just an advise, the Grays should greet each other with "En Taro Adun", and that will be awesome.
Lastly, I saw the word 'Fleet' Admiral, so I assume Omega Sector had a navy with a fleet of battleships? That make sense since Omega Sector is near Ludus Lake. Besides, they couldn't possibly had Battlecruisers that flies around the sky. The word fleet refers to large number of ships so it cannot be tanks or aircrafts...
Good job, keep it up!
| Kyrastri chapter 1 . 7/11/2010
-Fist pump- Wooo! You finally got it out! Yay, I'm so happy!
Halo refrences ftw: well it IS omega sector.
Although, a few miles to the south of omega sector would be water. I think you're looking for the word "East". :DD
Though in the first story in this mini-series, it said that to become a marauder, you had to collect a magical artifact and use it on their weapon, making a soul slayer. But how come he doesn't have one? And he's a marauder... O.o
A little more description on the actual person, please. I've got pictures of the scene and people, but not Logan. :P
To end on a good note, YAYAYAYAY YOU GOT IV UP :DD
Btw... Did you recieve the second draft I sent to your email?