|Reviews for Pokemon Academy: Dragon's Roar|
| Guest chapter 5 . 10/6/2013
Dear writer, stop stealing stories.
A fan of Flaze's work.
| Shinnypichu88 chapter 2 . 5/11/2012
same story but it's finished...
| LibraSnakes13 chapter 1 . 6/24/2011
Nothing can make a reader lose interest in a story is poor grammar. It shows either a lack of proofreading and editing or an indication that the author does not know how to write very well. The latter can be somewhat forgiven but the former is of no excuse.
Some of the grammar errors in this chapter lead me to believe that the material was not proofread though. Here are some of them that stood out the most for me.
"... rhinoceros like..." should be "... rhinoceros-like"
"...who goes Pokemon Element Academy..." should be "...who goes TO Pokemon Element Academy..."
"...hitting him a she looked up to see a pink umbrella..." should be "...hitting him AS HE looked up to see a pink umbrella..."
"It's been a month since the year starter..." should be "It HAS been a month since the year STARTED..."
"...push your Pokemon to much next time..." should be "...push your Pokemon TOO much next time..."
There were others though I didn't note them in the above passage.
In particular, near the end when the meteorite crash, I was confused as I thought the meteorite crashed through his apartment! The passage could have been expanded a bit to allow clarity and to build up tension as well.
Like I said, improving little errors like this goes a long way in making sure your audience is interested in what they are reading.
On another note, here's something that isn't official or anything but I always liked to follow it. In the world of Pokemon, leave a pokemon's name lower case if it's not a proper noun (like "He saw a rhyhorn") and have a pokemon's name that IS a proper noun upper case (like "This is my rhyhorn, Rhyhorn" OR "This is my rhyhorn, Funklicious"). This tends to make the passage less confusing. Your call though.
This drove me crazy, it's PHANPY and not PHAMBY! As a pokemaniac I wanted to slap my hand to forehead in shock that someone could make a mistake like that. But then again, I'm obsessed with Pokemon...
*Cough*...after all that now that you probably hate me but I do have one final thing to say and it's this. My overall review of the chapter and the story seems...how do I say...banal...
We seen Pokemon Academies before and we seen characters that want to be pokemon trainers but so far I don't see anything that really sets it apart from the others. Give me something original that hasn't been hackneyed throughout these years!
I give you props for a character that's flawed though and has a rather lackluster team. I've seen stories where the character starts of with a dratini and I shake my head in disgust. However, I'm not convinced about his goal to be a good pokemon trainer. Exactly why does he want to be one? Let's see what drives the character to his goal! True, you might enlighten me in the next chapters about why he does so. But I'm afraid the lack of proofreading and the overused storyline has turn off my interest. Keep at it though!
*Reviewers note*: I now feel like a jackass after reading on your profile that you're from Venezuela...go me...
| Mistress Of The Macabre chapter 1 . 10/20/2010
This is pretty good. I like the storyline and the characters are great. One thing: you misspelled Phanpy as "Phamby", unless thats the phanpy's nickname.
Otherwise, good job so far. I'm looking forward to reading the rest. :)